Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

AdamsNumberOne

Offline (yesterday at 1:49am) | Search for a member

AdamsNumberOne

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 374
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

AdamsNumberOne's page activity

Visits<b>lucas_urev</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:48pm<b>amelitaliz</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 6:01am<b>DataRomance</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 3:55am<b>urinal_shitter</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 11:23pm<b>xxemoxxpersonxx</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 6:33pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 5:11pm<b>weekendhero</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 3:23pm<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 10:14am<b>JustAnotherJose2</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 7:58am<b>weiweiweiweixuan</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 5:55am<b>msmama1985</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 1:17am<b>mrsparklejuice</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 11:15pm<b>Bricktothehead</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 4:08pm<b>Mustang19008</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 1:29pm<b>jake_braves</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 12:36pm<b>purplesockmonkey</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 4:50pm<b>klar21</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 9:53am<b>SlapAndTickle</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 8:12am

AdamsNumberOne's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of AdamsNumberOne's badges

AdamsNumberOne's favorite FMLs

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34232) - you deserved it (10452)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42218) - you deserved it (5123)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38283) - you deserved it (9787)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

#21261512
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35953) - you deserved it (3369)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

#21259933
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39738) - you deserved it (2527)

On 09/17/2014 at 8:18am - misc - by makeyourselfathome (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML

#21047196
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36485) - you deserved it (12224)

On 02/01/2014 at 1:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

#20108214
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22609) - you deserved it (4698)

On 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by hnickell93 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17379) - you deserved it (29753)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: