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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Adaelden

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Adaelden
  • Town/Country : Vancouver, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 February 1988 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 737
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Adaelden's favorite FMLs

Today, I parked in front of a grocery store and took the portable GPS system off the mount on the dashboard and put it in my pocket so no one would break into my car and steal it. When I got back, the window was smashed and someone had stolen the plastic mount. FML

#5194159 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (29126) - you deserved it (2016)

On 09/11/2009 at 8:40pm - misc - by sucksforme (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

#4501918 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (36851) - you deserved it (8742)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML

#4478498 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (42206) - you deserved it (5131)

On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML

#4474549 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (34184) - you deserved it (8324)

On 08/12/2009 at 1:02pm - kids - by guard35 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

#4440172 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (39076) - you deserved it (5365)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was proudly telling my husband that I only gained 8lbs through the pregnancy thus far. I usually obsess over my weight so it was a great accomplishment for me. He then turned and pinched my arms. "well it looks like all the fat migrated to your arms." FML

#4364677 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (30061) - you deserved it (5592)

On 08/07/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by fatpreggo - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

#4330249 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (69498) - you deserved it (14724)

On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my brother found 100 bucks in his coat pocket. He was so happy he bought 2 new games for his x-box. He was borrowing my coat. FML

#4299043 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (36606) - you deserved it (5733)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went into my part-time job at a drugstore. We always have one item we try and sell to every customer. For the next week I have to ask every person if they would like to try my nuts. FML

#4147298 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (30073) - you deserved it (2811)

On 07/29/2009 at 11:17pm - misc - by arsenic660 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was driving my car with expired tags to work. Because I was on the phone I almost missed my turn. So when I made a wide right turn I swiped a cop car sitting at the intersection. I was given a ticket, my car was towed and the cop thanked me for helping him make his monthly quota. FML

#4130274 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (6106) - you deserved it (56894)

On 07/29/2009 at 8:36am - misc - by tatilalicious - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my 8 year old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she is ugly. FML

#4055468 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (40240) - you deserved it (4118)

On 07/26/2009 at 2:58pm - kids - by loserwithlice (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (16747) - you deserved it (39911)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

#4029321 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (36258) - you deserved it (19556)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, I was talking to my mom lamenting the fact that none of my few relationships seem to last longer than 2 months. She asked why and I said, "because I'm paranoid, obsessive compulsive, judgmental, defensive, and stubborn." Instead of encouraging me, she said, "Well, at least you're honest." FML

#4026463 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (8487) - you deserved it (29424)

On 07/25/2009 at 7:13am - love - by lonely (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I spent my date night babysitting. After waiting three hours later than I was supposed, the mother finally gets home at 11, too late for me to get out and have any fun. Already annoyed, I take the money as she says, "I hope this is enough, I got hungry and spent some of your money." FML

#4020289 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (37300) - you deserved it (1690)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:21am - work - by hugs511 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)