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Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11217) - you deserved it (28782)
On 09/19/2010 at 8:07pm - misc - by whitefox123 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my dog used my stomach as a trampoline to jump onto the couch. I wouldn't have minded so much if I wasn't still recovering from having my appendix removed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24507) - you deserved it (1788)
On 09/16/2010 at 2:50pm - health - by hmb - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I went to give blood for the first time. When I sat down the guy said "First time?" I told him yes and he replied "Me too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27075) - you deserved it (2507)
On 08/19/2010 at 8:39pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my future father-in-law, a respectable New England gentleman, bought me an $8,000 viola and bow for our engagement. I was so surprised that I spit a glass of wine from a 60 year old bottle all over his custom-tailored suit. He was not happy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21440) - you deserved it (8788)
On 06/20/2010 at 2:42am - misc - by Mr.Viola (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was pulled over by a cop and was fined $210 for making an illegal u-turn. When the cop finished writing my ticket and hopped in his car, he made the same u-turn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37219) - you deserved it (6138)
On 04/10/2010 at 1:00am - money - by lance - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11252) - you deserved it (28672)
On 03/18/2010 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I got a ticket. The officer's daughter is my ex. He gave me a ticket for 31 in a 30 mph zone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28399) - you deserved it (3774)
On 02/02/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by anoynomous - Sent from mobile version
Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8037) - you deserved it (39143)
On 01/29/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17289) - you deserved it (3864)
On 01/23/2010 at 7:15pm - health - by Queasy - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41894) - you deserved it (3028)
On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I had to go to court to see whether my drivers license is suspended for an entire year. I woke up early, went to court, and everything went perfectly, with all the charges being dropped. Unfortunately, I then woke up, and am now going to be late. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9024) - you deserved it (22237)
On 01/19/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by haus (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend asked me "is it in yet?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19151) - you deserved it (4371)
On 01/14/2010 at 9:06am - intimacy - by anun (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went for a ride with my son. I noticed he didn't have his seat belt on. To teach him a lesson, I drove very slowly and hit the brakes really hard. The impact was greater than I thought, so my son hit his head against the window and left a huge crack. He just laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5432) - you deserved it (43629)
On 01/13/2010 at 1:12pm - kids - by Joe (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15128) - you deserved it (3160)
On 01/07/2010 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by oopsies (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16892) - you deserved it (2950)
On 01/07/2010 at 12:44pm - work - by Mic (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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