Abueita

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Abueita

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3765
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Abueita's page activity

Visits<b>pokemyeyes</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 4:44pm<b>blueyes909</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:45am<b>appelflap</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 3:51pm<b>action_cats</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 9:16pm<b>BCarew5369</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 5:50pm<b>MsSoulReaper</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 5:14pm<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 1:50am<b>fireflyinajar</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 8:40pm<b>CheeseTron</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 8:07pm

Abueita's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of Abueita's badges

Abueita's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm / United States / Kids

Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML

by blacktyaffair / 11/09/2011 at 9:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm / United States / Kids

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

by imy / 10/18/2011 at 11:01am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

Today, the workplace evacuation bell sounded. Out of panic after the recent earthquake, I ran down 21 flights of stairs, only to find out it was a false alarm. My legs are on fire, and I can barely walk. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 7:06pm / United States / Work

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

by skichick54 / 08/24/2011 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

by fmlguy382 / 06/22/2011 at 4:13am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

by / 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm / United States / Health

Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML

by kyle / 06/05/2011 at 3:00am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

by Jon / 05/23/2011 at 2:46pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy

Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML

by Anon / 05/07/2011 at 2:08am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Intimacy