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Abueita

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Abueita

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1841
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Abueita's page activity

Visits<b>appelflap</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 3:51pm<b>action_cats</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 9:16pm<b>BCarew5369</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 5:50pm<b>MsSoulReaper</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 5:14pm<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 1:50am<b>fireflyinajar</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 8:40pm<b>CheeseTron</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 8:07pm

Abueita's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of Abueita's badges

Abueita's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, I bought the only cat on Earth that doesn't like chasing after a laser dot. Goodbye, hours of sick, sick entertainment. FML

#20026951
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12144) - you deserved it (22553)

On 08/17/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by lonelygirl (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

#20024799
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6982) - you deserved it (40572)

On 08/16/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML

#20024681
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31241) - you deserved it (7490)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by cardsftw - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

#20011677
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6432) - you deserved it (46781)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out why I can't sleep at night. My wife switched my sleep aid pills with energy pills. FML

#20007763
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23559) - you deserved it (2110)

On 08/07/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blackfell - United States

Today, my daughter discovered that her Venus Fly Trap will not eat pieces of ripped-up scrap paper. Also today, I discovered that my daughter can't tell the difference between scrap paper and my monthly paycheck. FML

#19998217
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26780) - you deserved it (2501)

On 08/02/2012 at 10:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

#19990567
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26573) - you deserved it (4189)

On 07/29/2012 at 9:34am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

#19984638
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28002) - you deserved it (5157)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Jarman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10715) - you deserved it (36828)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11416) - you deserved it (39236)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

#19913255
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25949) - you deserved it (3550)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia

Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML

#19884306
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29544) - you deserved it (3238)

On 07/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by Dreamer (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML

#19832174
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29133) - you deserved it (3060)

On 06/23/2012 at 1:17am - misc - by blah56 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

#19783126
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26010) - you deserved it (15489)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)



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