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Abueita

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Abueita

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1559
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Abueita's page activity

Visits<b>appelflap</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 3:51pm<b>action_cats</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 9:16pm<b>BCarew5369</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 5:50pm<b>MsSoulReaper</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 5:14pm<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 1:50am<b>fireflyinajar</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 8:40pm<b>CheeseTron</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 8:07pm

Abueita's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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Abueita's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44482) - you deserved it (3886)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

#20067539
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28205) - you deserved it (5852)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by apparently inexperienced (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML

Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML

#20065022
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19856) - you deserved it (1934)

On 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

#20051213
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27058) - you deserved it (15868)

On 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by jon (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML

#20046536
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16084) - you deserved it (37789)

On 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Bethany (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML

#20043967
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29349) - you deserved it (2471)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by masterman - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

#20042115
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34474) - you deserved it (3272)

On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34833) - you deserved it (8846)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, a stranger came up to me with a flirty smile, greeted me by my name, and asked if I remembered him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember, so I asked him to tell me. He promptly left with a disappointed look. He was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. FML

#20031656
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30615) - you deserved it (6845)

On 08/20/2012 at 9:25am - misc - by Maria (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

#20030745
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24870) - you deserved it (4885)

On 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML

#20027750
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26650) - you deserved it (1767)

On 08/18/2012 at 3:49am - misc - by sneaky1324 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

#20027548
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37867) - you deserved it (2195)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States



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