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  • Number of visits : 4604
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Abueita's page activity

Visits<b>soodytheboi</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 3:24pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 11:56am<b>pokemyeyes</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 4:44pm<b>blueyes909</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:45am<b>appelflap</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 3:51pm<b>action_cats</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 9:16pm<b>BCarew5369</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 5:50pm<b>MsSoulReaper</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 5:14pm<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 1:50am<b>fireflyinajar</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 8:40pm<b>CheeseTron</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 8:07pm

Abueita's FML badges


You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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Abueita's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

by apparently inexperienced / 09/11/2012 at 12:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML

Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

by jon / 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML

by Bethany / 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML

by masterman / 08/27/2012 at 2:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 1:46am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML

by tal / 08/22/2012 at 5:57am / France / Animals

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

by ihateveganism / 08/22/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, a stranger came up to me with a flirty smile, greeted me by my name, and asked if I remembered him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember, so I asked him to tell me. He promptly left with a disappointed look. He was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. FML

by Maria / 08/20/2012 at 9:25am / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML

by sneaky1324 / 08/18/2012 at 3:49am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Health