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Abueita's favorite FMLs
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by apparently inexperienced / 09/11/2012 at 12:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by darawbs / 09/09/2012 at 8:39pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by jon / 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML
by Bethany / 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by masterman / 08/27/2012 at 2:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 1:46am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by ihateveganism / 08/22/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
Today, a stranger came up to me with a flirty smile, greeted me by my name, and asked if I remembered him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember, so I asked him to tell me. He promptly left with a disappointed look. He was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. FML
by Maria / 08/20/2012 at 9:25am / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by sneaky1324 / 08/18/2012 at 3:49am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Health
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…