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Aaraeus's FML badges
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Aaraeus's favorite FMLs
Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML
by thehumanshield / 08/05/2011 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 5:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Bob / 11/11/2010 at 10:55pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
by oopsies / 01/07/2010 at 8:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the doctor. For the past year, my stomach would get upset every time I ate. Attempting to ease the pain, I would always eat a piece of bread. My doctor told me I have Celiac disease, which means I'm allergic to gluten. I'm allergic to bread. FML
by LaineyLove / 05/09/2009 at 3:05am / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, I went to a football sleepover with all of my teammates. I felt something near the bottom of my sleeping bag, and I pulled it up with my foot. My entire team watched me pull out a red thong. My parents had been on a camping trip the week before. FML
by TrueStories / 04/13/2009 at 2:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
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- Today, while having sex with the guy I have seen for about 3 years, he answered the phone. I found… Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container.… Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told…