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ADepressedWhale

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ADepressedWhale

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  • Number of visits : 286
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ADepressedWhale's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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ADepressedWhale's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38105) - you deserved it (12925)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)

Today, my cousin decided it would be fun to get drunk before my wedding. During the ceremony, he got up on the stage and tried to do a stage dive into the crowd. He landed on my nephew and broke his arm. FML

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

#20788974
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54609) - you deserved it (17022)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by WasntMe - United States

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

#20673360
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43473) - you deserved it (5872)

On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boss fired me from my job at a local family-owned business. Thanks, mom. FML

#20571565
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34449) - you deserved it (8453)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22223) - you deserved it (45478)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40191) - you deserved it (9576)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49372) - you deserved it (4757)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45745) - you deserved it (25162)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41754) - you deserved it (8167)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML

#20397287
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27767) - you deserved it (4706)

On 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by maxedoutidiot - United States

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30944) - you deserved it (18140)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML

#20110797
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21358) - you deserved it (1944)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by scaredofcutouts (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34700) - you deserved it (4742)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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