About ABillOnFire : I'm so fresh you can suck my nuts
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Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27744) - you deserved it (6368)
On 03/24/2013 at 7:47pm - love - by fuckyoutoo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32635) - you deserved it (5379)
On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29217) - you deserved it (2874)
On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18168) - you deserved it (2167)
On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25716) - you deserved it (2426)
On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States
Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16090) - you deserved it (3017)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:04am - love - by atsukobo - United States
Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26438) - you deserved it (2391)
On 03/06/2012 at 6:50am - health - by FootyFoot (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6712) - you deserved it (47185)
On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States
Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21878) - you deserved it (10754)
On 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm - misc - by Jman6295 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe". FML
I agree, your life sucks (23258) - you deserved it (9308)
On 01/07/2012 at 9:12am - misc - by randomgirl - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43149) - you deserved it (11803)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34591) - you deserved it (4411)
On 06/13/2011 at 10:22am - misc - by suze44 - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend refused to have his hair treated against lice, because "men don't have lice". FML
I agree, your life sucks (20866) - you deserved it (2614)
On 12/08/2010 at 9:56am - health - by scratchy (woman) - Israel (HaDarom)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38269) - you deserved it (10979)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14306) - you deserved it (74840)
On 02/28/2009 at 5:59am - kids - by tryena (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Friday 24 May 2013
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