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Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23834) - you deserved it (10241)
On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)
Today, as my girlfriend and I were on a romantic dinner for two, I tried pulling out the chair for her. She fell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19403) - you deserved it (5061)
On 09/13/2011 at 4:13pm - misc - by jake (man) - United States
Today, I fell asleep for an hour in the bathroom while taking a dump. I had to convince everyone I went for a walk during lunch since no one saw my car leave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8513) - you deserved it (13941)
On 09/13/2011 at 2:14pm - work - by Brian B - United States
Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17798) - you deserved it (6822)
On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15591) - you deserved it (23047)
On 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by aru9 - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34427) - you deserved it (4790)
On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31253) - you deserved it (11374)
On 05/14/2011 at 6:43am - health - by BrownDump - United States
Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31713) - you deserved it (3310)
On 05/14/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by IhateThem - United States
Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6717) - you deserved it (54769)
On 02/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Brea - United States (Missouri)
Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6224) - you deserved it (64496)
On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32681) - you deserved it (13742)
On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42212) - you deserved it (3104)
On 06/08/2009 at 2:51pm - work - by Marie (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17629) - you deserved it (33562)
On 02/25/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by riappp (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12266) - you deserved it (5314)
On 02/01/2009 at 11:31pm - animals - by Noname - United States (Nebraska)
Monday 17 June 2013
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