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73hm0571337

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73hm0571337
  • Town/Country : US of A
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 259
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML

#3495649 (319)

I agree, your life sucks (56287) - you deserved it (2495)

On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (55203) - you deserved it (3434)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML

#3264690 (278)

I agree, your life sucks (55403) - you deserved it (1856)

On 06/27/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by OfCourse (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

#3241027 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (36613) - you deserved it (18963)

On 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by LondonKitsch (woman) - United States

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

#3229865 (454)

I agree, your life sucks (51851) - you deserved it (26221)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting a pedicure and the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds because they love skin. She then describes for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML

#3199302 (294)

I agree, your life sucks (65733) - you deserved it (2326)

On 06/25/2009 at 4:34am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725 (314)

I agree, your life sucks (66505) - you deserved it (9150)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my little nieces and nephews were about to have a water balloon fight. I was told to take pictures. They hit me. And my $600 camera. FML

#3139134 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (34032) - you deserved it (7545)

On 06/23/2009 at 3:21am - kids - by DntH8 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

#3127990 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (38251) - you deserved it (7421)

On 06/22/2009 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything I replied "guess". He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently I've been bitchy. FML

#3112345 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (11080) - you deserved it (46686)

On 06/22/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by tamp (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I realized how much I hate my apartment. Not only can I hear my creepy upstairs neighbor having sex with random hookers every few night, I can also hear him everytime he takes a shit. I honestly don't know which is worse. FML

#3085922 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (44640) - you deserved it (1850)

On 06/21/2009 at 8:05am - intimacy - by Steph (woman) - Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya)

Today, I was in the basement at my grandma's house. The bathroom is on the ground floor and there's a laundry chute that goes down to the basement. I looked through the chute to see if the bathroom light was on. A pair of shitty underpants came down and landed in my face. They were my grandma's. FML

#3078532 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (31345) - you deserved it (7737)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by yuck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I were exchanging some naughty pictures. I accidentally sent one to everybody on my contacts, including my ex, my boss, and even Pizza Hut. FML

#3063097 (274)

I agree, your life sucks (10711) - you deserved it (47127)

On 06/20/2009 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was hanging out with a friend at IHOP. When I left, a middle aged man in the parking lot offered me $100 to sleep with him in the dumpsters behind the building. That is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML

#2976361 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (33772) - you deserved it (2459)

On 06/17/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Pancakegirl - United States (Colorado)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused caling me Jill & her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839 (290)

I agree, your life sucks (98224) - you deserved it (5700)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)