666midnight

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666midnight

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 April 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 134024
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About 666midnight : suicidal_sniper@hotmail.co.uk
Add me if you wish to =)

666midnight's page activity

Visits<b>2simz</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 1:48pm<b>vsinha</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 11:19pm<b>lonelyincrowd</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 6:21am<b>mkmon7</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 4:05pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 8:29pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 9:42pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 2:03pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 2:54am<b>NateshN</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 12:32pm<b>jill97</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 11:00am<b>wjohn717</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 6:03pm<b>PuckYouToTheFace</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:44pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 4:53pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 9:15pm<b>ADC_Lover_2011</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 8:20am<b>dno79</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 12:13pm<b>moodyreallyrocks</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 6:13am<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 3:40pm

Fucked!<b>PuckYouToTheFace</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 6:45pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 9:32pm

666midnight's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

666midnight's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

by NinjaPanda88 / 08/01/2009 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

by notsexy / 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

by re2K5 / 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm / Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto) / Money

Today, I was in an elevator with my dad and several strangers. When the elevator voice said, "Going down," my dad excitedly said, "Man, I love it when she says that!" loudly enough for everyone to hear. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2009 at 6:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in an elevator with my dad and several strangers. When the elevator voice said, "Going down," my dad excitedly said, "Man, I love it when she says that!" loudly enough for everyone to hear. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2009 at 6:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to check out my secret condom stash. When I looked inside, I found a note. The note read: "Thanks hun, I really needed this. Love, Mom". FML

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2009 at 3:35am / Intimacy

Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML

by stupid / 07/07/2009 at 10:34am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2009 at 12:49am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

by blazer / 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

by merkris / 06/29/2009 at 11:41am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2009 at 8:40am / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

by Ohshit / 05/17/2009 at 2:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML

by sonofmilf / 05/17/2009 at 1:46am / United States (Illinois) / Work