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666Monkey

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666Monkey

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 19 September 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 655
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About 666Monkey : She's made of hair and bone and little teeth
And things I cannot speak
She comes on like a crippled plaything
Spine is just a string
I wrapped our love in all this foil
Silver- tight like spider legs
I never wanted it to ever spoil
But flies will always lay their eggs

Take your hatred out on me
Make your victim my head
Your never ever believed in me
I am your tourniquet

Prosthetic synthesis with butterfly
Sealed up with virgin stitch
If it hurts, baby please tell me
Preserve the innocence
I never wanted it to end like this
But flies will lay their eggs

-Tourniquet by: Marilyn Manson

666Monkey's page activity

Visits<b>CatMeister</b> - the 07/01/2011 at 11:49am<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 01/02/2010 at 4:38pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 12/09/2009 at 4:59pm<b>BaBiiSpAnKy821</b> - the 12/05/2009 at 9:08pm

666Monkey's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

666Monkey's favorite FMLs

Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML

#7160952
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27571) - you deserved it (4766)

On 01/05/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous - India (Madhya Pradesh)

Today, my very traditional grandmother has decided it's time for me to get married to Kevin. She's called half the town and informed them of the good news. I'm 17. I've never met Kevin. FML

#6580570
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40176) - you deserved it (1915)

On 12/03/2009 at 4:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I realized that I hadn't shaved in so long that when the wind blew, the hairs on my legs moved in the breeze. FML

#6270063
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7515) - you deserved it (44455)

On 11/12/2009 at 6:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was driving my child to school when the car let out a huge bang. It shuddered to a halt. My son started laughing. I asked him what was funny but he wouldn't tell me. The car wouldn't start. I called RACV and they told me the problem. My son had rolled 9 golf balls into the exhaust pipe. FML

#6095339
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31900) - you deserved it (3418)

On 11/01/2009 at 1:44am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58419) - you deserved it (15071)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58419) - you deserved it (15071)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw a girl I haven't seen in 4 years. She used to like me back then. Since then I have lost 50 pounds, and never had the confidence to ask her out. She said I looked really sexy so I decided to ask her out on a date then and there. She said no, she only likes fat guys. FML

#5072938
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47217) - you deserved it (4277)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:19am - love - by Nofatforme (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend got drunk. We tried to get him into a cab, he punched me in the face, three chavs then accosted me, accusing me of trying to mug him. I was then beaten up by said chavs and then the police charged me for being drunk and disorderly. FML

#5072563
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38253) - you deserved it (2899)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:03am - health - by DrunkenValor (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I had been working at the checkout for over 5 hours. Slighty tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink, he smiled and winked back. When I finished work 2 hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML

#5017787
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46639) - you deserved it (3638)

On 09/03/2009 at 9:27am - work - by Pop_Pies (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I stood for half an hour in the rain waiting for my bus. As I started to go inside, my bus turned around the corner and splashed water all over me. The bus driver wouldn't let me on the bus because I was soaking wet and I would "mess up the seats". FML

#4949959
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42654) - you deserved it (2266)

On 08/31/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by soaked (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML

#4933603
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54110) - you deserved it (4329)

On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving past a farm that always has 4 chickens walking around outside. It always cheers me up to see them, but I couldn't find them. I wasn't watching the road so I didn't see when I ran over all 4 chickens. FML

#4863125
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16005) - you deserved it (48652)

On 08/27/2009 at 4:53pm - animals - by chickenlover (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

#4639027
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13991) - you deserved it (64338)

On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

#4361327
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49532) - you deserved it (6431)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



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