5destroyer35

Search for a member

Offline (the 03/29/2015 at 7:52am)

5destroyer35

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 July 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2700
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About 5destroyer35 : I have lost track of the hours I have spent here.

5destroyer35's page activity

Visits<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 9:45pm<b>foomzy</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 3:26pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 10:14pm<b>horsehaed7</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 9:07am<b>Kobe1Kenobi</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 2:51pm<b>XPhoenixFire</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 7:29am<b>ola__9213</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 10:35am<b>angelk19</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 9:49am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 8:02am<b>Meettitan</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 7:57am<b>1030love</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 7:57am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:56pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 11:15am<b>kiraleann</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 10:19am<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 7:10am<b>kino22x</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 6:04pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 1:31pm<b>kto123</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 10:51pm

5destroyer35's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of 5destroyer35's badges

5destroyer35's favorite FMLs

Today, due to a hammer-related incident, instead of receiving glass ornaments as gifts from my trip to Venice, my friends will be receiving novelty postcards of Michelangelo's David's penis. FML

by Stop_HammerTime / 08/04/2014 at 9:51am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Holidays

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML

by wiifantcso / 07/01/2014 at 5:57pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

by beccadabeast / 06/30/2014 at 2:44am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Animals

Today, I had a job interview where I was interrupted for using the word creative because there is "only one creator". FML

by IAMALITAHA / 06/27/2014 at 2:11am / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Work

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

by failed dad / 06/25/2014 at 8:30am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

by ldrik1 / 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

by AndrewKeane / 06/09/2014 at 12:26pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my grandmother tried to start a fist-fight with my wife during my wedding ceremony. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2014 at 2:17pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I pulled up next to a lady who was trying to text, smoke, and drive. My brother said that she was probably going to cause an accident. He was right. At the next light she hit us. She then yelled that I purposely caused the accident because, "that's how teenagers are". FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2014 at 1:00am / United States (Nevada) / Transportation

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2014 at 12:47pm / United States (Connecticut) / Money

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

by back to creepers / 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Geek