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2muchfun1's favorite FMLs
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/09/2011 at 10:19pm / Reserved / Work
by beablue18 / 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Miscellaneous
by Jon / 05/23/2011 at 2:46pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy
by no one / 05/21/2011 at 5:07am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
by nicknick2 / 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 10:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML
by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML
by Anonymous / 11/25/2010 at 12:24am / United States (Washington) / Transportation
by mr_p / 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my family and I attended a pool party. I never learned to swim, so I didn't bring a suit. When someone asked why I wasn't in the pool, my sister replied in a loud voice, "She's on her period and didn't want the pool to get dirty!" Thanks. FML
by Anonymous / 09/08/2010 at 2:09pm / Greece (Attiki) / Health
Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML
by jackson / 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by teacher / 08/31/2010 at 10:50am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
- Today, I was driving in a straight line on a completely deserted road in the open bush. I sneezed… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…