art college is my life from august to may. the rest of the time i actually have time to live
Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13944) - you totally deserved it (3049)
On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - misc - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16845) - you totally deserved it (1088)
On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States
Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29440) - you totally deserved it (1698)
On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5481) - you totally deserved it (15194)
On 01/20/2010 at 5:38pm - work - by PentiumBawls8 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2558) - you totally deserved it (16203)
On 01/20/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by Shoeless (woman) - United States
Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8574) - you totally deserved it (16222)
On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - misc - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31583) - you totally deserved it (6532)
On 06/26/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by lifesmells - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5533) - you totally deserved it (54708)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I checked facebook, only to find out that my close cousin is now married. When I looked at the pictures, I saw that my whole family was there - including my sister, mother and father. I was the only one who wasn't invited. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48319) - you totally deserved it (2107)
On 06/10/2009 at 1:35pm - misc - by Oh_baby (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because the love advice that she gets on her cellphone every week says that I'm cheating on her. I've never cheated on her and I was planning to propose next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60915) - you totally deserved it (2992)
On 06/05/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58839) - you totally deserved it (2067)
On 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went to Ralph's to get bread and a snack. While paying, an 80 year old lady, in a walker, took my bag while I wasn't watching. That's right, I got jacked by an 80 year old in a walker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39330) - you totally deserved it (5187)
On 05/12/2009 at 2:55am - misc - by iJason (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51286) - you totally deserved it (4910)
On 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm - kids - by fmal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15888) - you totally deserved it (45757)
On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40230) - you totally deserved it (6542)
On 04/23/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)
