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Climax

By Hungry - 09/12/2025 00:00

Today, my husband managed to make Chipotle's beef barbacoa recipe perfectly in our kitchen. I couldn't stop eating, it tasted so good. Then I realized this is the most pleasure he's brought me in the six years we've been together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 184

Family man

By Anonymous - 13/04/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I had to turn down a huge job promotion that would have meant a bigger salary and more benefits because it would have required me to move, and my wife and kids absolutely refuse to leave behind the farm we live on or all the animals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 247

Get tested

By Anonymous - 11/02/2026 12:00

Today, I found out my ex was sleeping around with others without a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 72

Squeaker of the house

By Awkward - 13/07/2026 09:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I wore new shoes to a wedding. Halfway through the ceremony, the left shoe started squeaking with every step. During the silent vows, I had to walk across the room sounding like an angry rubber duck while people turned to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 124

I don't wanna go

By Anonymous - 14/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I came home after spending the past two months at summer camp, just for my parents to excitedly announce that I'm going to be spending the next two weeks in Florida with my grandma. We have to leave in literally a couple hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 53

Radar

By Anonymous - 11/07/2026 20:00 - Canada

Today, I was woken up at 5:15 AM to the lovely sounds of my cat barfing in three different places on my bedroom carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 79

Curiousity killed the radio star

By Ash - 30/05/2026 09:00 - Belgium - Lier

Today, my friend didn't believe me when I was bragging about how good of a boyfriend my partner finally was. She told me to prove it because he had cheated before. I opened his Instagram and the first DM opened was him cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 271

Obsessed

By Not bear - 20/07/2026 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, and ever since my girlfriend and I watched the movie Obsession, she now thinks it's funny to watch me sleep, screams "STAAAAY!!" whenever I move when we're cuddling, and stands still by the door with a giant smile whenever I come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 89

Time for plan A

By Anonymous - 20/09/2025 22:00

Today, it’s my birthday. I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks in June and was not planning on having another kid. Took a Plan B pill after a rendezvous in August, but found out this AM that I’m pregnant. Guess the Plan B didn’t work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 236

Moving on

By Airos4 - 05/12/2025 09:00

Today, my ex-wife got engaged to the guy who she started dating two weeks into our six month "trial separation." I can't even get a date.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 115

Resolutions come and go

By Anonymous - 06/01/2026 12:00

Today, I tried a new workout class as part of my New Year's resolution to get fit. The instructor said, “Don’t worry, we’ll start easy.” Twenty minutes in, I was flat on the floor while everyone else continued effortlessly. When the instructor asked if I was OK, I gave a thumbs-up, but I haven’t been able to sit down since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 113

Kinda hot

By SadGf - 05/02/2026 20:00

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 151

Mixed signals

By Middle Age Divorced Dad - 25/07/2026 00:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, and every day this week, my youngest daughter has been telling me about all the new friends she's been making and playing with at school. Her kindergarten teacher explained that when she misbehaves too much, they have been sending her to the other kindergarten class. This isn't the first punishment she's interpreted as a reward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 89

Relaxed

By Anonymous - 01/08/2026 03:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, I decided to push myself and go to a morning yoga class, despite suffering from horrible insomnia for the past few nights. During child’s pose, I fell dead asleep on my mat and only woke up because I ripped a comedically loud fart and startled myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 124

Lookalike

By Anonymous - 17/03/2026 12:00

Today, I finally got with the hot guy from work. We were laying in bed, smiling at each other afterwards, when his eyes traveled down my body and he blurts out, "THAT'S who you look like! Have you ever seen Moana? Yeah, you look JUST like THAT MAUI GUY! WOW!" I'm a woman. A 5ft4 woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 114

Naughty boy

By Anonymous - 06/11/2025 03:00

Today, I was walking my dog when I tripped on the leash, dropping his treat bag. He snatched one, looked at me, and ran full speed in the opposite direction. I had to chase him for three blocks, yelling his name. He thought it was a new game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 161

Greg

By Not Greg - 27/10/2025 15:00

Today, it was my first day. HR handed me a badge with my photo and… someone else’s name printed in big letters. I spent the whole morning being introduced as “Greg” to people who said, “Nice to meet you Greg.” By lunch I’d corrected maybe 3 people and reinforced everyone else’s assumption that my real name was Greg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 110

Cats are cool dudes

By Anonymous - 28/07/2026 09:00 - United States - Rialto

Today, someone (probably my ex) released a bunch of cats into my house. I’m pants-shittingly, deathly afraid of cats. Animal control can’t guarantee that they caught them all because they have no way of knowing how many were in there in the first place. I’m too terrified to be at home now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 134

Soaked

By SamIsMe - 24/01/2026 09:00

Today, I have been trying to keep up on chores. I washed all of the blankets in the house, then had to pick up my son from school. I couldn't find my phone before leaving though. When we returned, we found out where it was. The washer. It's not coming back from this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 109

Quality panic room time

By Anonymous - 02/03/2026 20:00

Today, as I was going to check the mail, a huge dog ran into my house. The closest room with a door was the bathroom so I slammed myself inside and screamed for help. We live far from any neighbors and my phone was outside, so there was no hope of rescue. It paced outside the door for four hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 147

We need more information

By Anonymous - 18/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Amarillo

Today, I found out some very disturbing information about one of my brothers, who I have not seen in 8 years. The information is so crazy that I've thought about going to the FBI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 106

Get on with it

By Bored - 18/06/2026 03:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I went to play a game with a friend. Turns out he's the sort of dude who, when he first installs a game, gets obsessive with making sure the settings are EXACTLY right. We got maybe five minutes of gameplay in between menu sliders, hardware tweaks, and unofficial drivers and patches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 96

Rich

By Anonymous - 30/10/2025 12:00

Today, I awoke at 3am to a discoloured, swollen and excruciatingly painful left foot. After a visit to the doctor and a CT scan, I was diagnosed with gout - AKA the “rich man’s disease.” I am by no means rich and can barely pass as a man, but still get the agonising condition nonetheless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 117

Be careful with that axe, Eugene

By Shredded - 02/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I finally had enough to buy my dream guitar, made in 1965. I buckled it into the passenger seat because it unfortunately didn't come with the original case. Once home, I tripped over my own feet before reaching my front door and scratched it on the concrete. It wasn't in mint condition when I bought it, but now it looks like it had a bad relic job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 155

Go go dancer

By Anonymous - 12/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was dancing in a club when some manager told me to stop messing around and get back on stage or I’m not getting paid. I think he thought I worked for him. I was in jeans and a glittery vest, all the dancers were in booty shorts and bikini tops. What the hell, my guy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 75

Mixed signals

By Anonymous - 12/04/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 207

Quite the catch

By Anonymous - 04/03/2026 00:00

Today, I already felt like shit for no reason, only to find out my boyfriend been drinking again, even though he knows it worries me. He lives two hours away and I don't have a car. Apparently he's had two bottles of vodka, and he started getting nasty over the phone with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 139

Nervous

By Anonymous - 14/11/2025 09:00

Today, I met a blind date from a dating app. He looked nothing like his pictures, but I tried to be polite. I said, “Wow, you look different in person!” He smiled and said, “That’s not me. He’s probably just running late, and I’m just sitting here.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 150

Room by room

By Anonymous - 09/12/2025 09:00

Today, we're a family of four moving houses. My husband wants me to copy each room and move it to the new house, paste it there. Literally. He doesn't understand why it's impossible with kids to have the bedroom at one house and bathroom at another. According to him, we can fully finish this move in four days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 103

Safe in the closet

By Anonymous - 04/06/2026 09:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I realized I'd spent 14 months giving my love to a closeted lesbian, who used me like an emotional vampire to hide. She cried about her ex leaving her for a man, then did the same to me. She's a parasite jumping from host to host because she's too cowardly to be honest. I’m just her latest supply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 79

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting. As I went to leave the bathroom, someone grabbed the knob and pulled the door shut. I figured it was one of the kids and told them to knock it off. A second later, the grip let off. There was no one there and the kids were still asleep. I don't know what to think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 697

You deserved it 1 815

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 449

You deserved it 49 188

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 165

You deserved it 3 151

Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170 328

You deserved it 9 885

Today, I got a message from a former very close friend (with benefits) after telling him this morning that I couldn't talk to him anymore because I felt pressured to conform to his expectations in a way that hurt me. He wanted to tell me he broke up with the girl he abandoned things with me for. I'm not responding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 377

Today, my wife is mad because she forgot our anniversary. Not me, her. She thought it was today and got mad at me for having nothing planned. It’s tomorrow, and I do have stuff planned for us. So she’s mad at me because she got it wrong and felt like an idiot, which is somehow my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 92