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Here comes the bride…

By Anonymous - 05/06/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I realized that I may have made a mistake in getting married, because he kept telling people to "Stop fucking crying, it's not a funeral." FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 120

Namaste

By Old and tired - 01/02/2026 20:00

Today, finally joined a yoga class to “stay flexible” as a retiree. I followed along until we did a pose involving balance. I fell sideways into a stack of foam blocks and knocked over the instructor like gentle dominoes. Everyone was kind, but now I get assigned the chair automatically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 84

Sinking pirate ship

By Rachel - 17/02/2026 20:00

Today, I wanted to stream my favourite show illegally, but it turns out the website got shut down and anyone affiliated would face fines. It's a bit of a shame because I had one episode left in the last season. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 280

I'm a mess

By Anonymous - 23/07/2026 03:00 - Australia

Today, I set practically ten alarms because I absolutely could not oversleep for an important appointment. I woke up two hours early, panicked that I'd missed it, and couldn't fall back asleep. I spent the entire appointment looking like I hadn't slept at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 110

Call the doctor

By Anonymous - 27/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to go to bed on time, complete with going to the bathroom and not eating several hours before bed. I dunno why but for some strange reason I was woken up by my own flatulence. Again. I hadn't eaten several hours before bed to prevent this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 94

Employee of the week

By Nathalieeeee - 13/09/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to sip my coffee quietly during a quiet meeting. Instead, I inhaled it, started choking, and sprayed lukewarm coffee all over my notes, my shirt, and unfortunately, my boss. She didn’t say anything, but I’m pretty sure she hates me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 180

I know what I'm doing

By Notsostrong - 30/03/2026 00:00

Today, I’m a gym newbie and worked up the courage to go to the weights section. I loaded what I thought was a reasonable amount onto a bar and tried to lift it… except it didn’t move. At all. I pretended I was “just stretching,” then removed half the weights while hoping no one noticed. Someone definitely noticed and gave me an encouraging thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 151

Good or bad news?

By Bombaclotttt - 11/09/2025 09:00

Today, I decided I was gonna take a pregnancy test after being two months late. I bought two because I was sure it would give me a positive. That same night I got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 100

WhatsApp news!

By Anonymous - 01/12/2025 09:00

Today, I bought a new smart scale that automatically broadcasts your weight to your fitness app. I didn’t realize it also shared updates with my gym group chat. They all got a notification titled, “Progress Report: Attempt #1.” It wasn’t progress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 168

Pipe down

By Anonymous - 15/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my husband is threatening divorce because I loudly objected at his daughter's wedding and made a scene. His daughter is 19 and got married to a 40-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 483

Hair today, gone tomorrow

By JB. - 25/10/2025 12:00

Today, I've come to the realization that the only people to call me handsome are women above the age of 55, gay men, or women trying to get money from me and failing. I don't even get a compliment on a haircut after not cutting it for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 130

Step brothers

By Anonymous - 07/07/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my stepson hit my biological son with a belt. When I demanded to know why, it turned out that my son destroyed his (stepson's) laptop while raging over his stupid video game. My husband is completely mortified and I have no idea who to be more mad at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 117

Just be normal

By Chad - 17/11/2025 03:00

Today, I told a cashier at a store, “You have such kind eyes.” She smiled, then pointed to the bagging station and said, “Those are my husband’s eyes, he’s right there.” I spent the next minute bagging my groceries in dead silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 241

Heavy sleeper

By Carm - 24/02/2026 22:00

Today, my cat thought it would be a GREAT idea to sleep in my bag. I only found out when I was driving to work. He isn’t allowed outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 138

Let me in!

By Anonymous - 08/10/2025 22:00

Today, I walked out of my apartment to take the trash out. The wind suddenly slammed the door shut behind me. The problem? I was only wearing boxers. My keys were inside, the trash bag ripped in my hands, and my neighbor’s dog barked at me like he had caught an intruder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 180

Trumpet solo

By Anonymous - 13/03/2026 12:00

Today, I tried to get to bed at a reasonable hour. Despite not deviating from what I typically eat, I was kept up nearly all night by my farts. The foods I eat typically don't give me gas this badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 71

Enjoy the moment

By Anonymous - 28/06/2026 15:00 - Canada

Today, I woke up early to watch the sunrise from the top of a mountain after a two-hour hike in the dark. I reached the summit just in time for the most spectacular sunrise… then realized that my camera battery had been sitting on the charger at home the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 173

Clogged up

By Anonymous - 10/04/2026 12:00 - United States - El Paso

Today, I’m on my third week of my head cold. I wake up every day with barely a voice and I’m constantly spitting and blowing green tar out of my sinuses. Sleep? It’s a luxury until my nasal passages clog and I’m up for at least an hour clearing it up. No joke, I’m about to inhale whiskey up my nose as payback. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 66

Blackout

By Anonymous - 06/04/2026 20:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my wife doesn't remember that last night when she was so drunk (light weight) that she kept telling me to pick up the thingy off the floor and was pointing at it. We went back and forth about it for a few minutes. There was nothing there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 98

It's just a vibe thing

By Cuckolded by tech - 08/02/2026 22:00

Today, it's been four months since I bought my girlfriend the vibrator she'd been wanting. She hasn't wanted sex since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 140

Everything must go

By Anonymous - 21/11/2025 15:00

Today, I realized that I’m a loser. My coworkers have hit 9k and 16k in total sales, and I’ve never even come close to those numbers. I swear I work hard, but everything just sucks. I fucking hate my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 126

No more fun

By ShyBear - 21/11/2025 20:00

Today, my partner called me from urgent care because his jaw was hurting. Apparently he now has lockjaw from going down on me too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 125

Many such cases

By Anonymous - 27/06/2026 03:00 - United States - Hampton

Today, my power company notified me that one of the payments my husband and I sent last week for our overdue bill had bounced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 131

Wake up call

By Anonymous - 22/05/2026 20:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 87

Kinda expected

By Anonymous - 08/04/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I've been getting nothing but hate and backlash for letting my son, who had severe COVID, attend his father's funeral. It was the only chance for him to say goodbye, but nobody cares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 628

What did I do wrong?

By Anonymous - 15/06/2026 09:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, after wishing my closest friend a happy birthday yesterday, he ghosted me without saying anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 53

How bad do I look?

By Anonymous - 19/09/2025 00:00

Today, a teenage Costco cashier whispered to me, “Things WILL get better.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 85

Best keep it under wraps

By Amandy - 05/05/2026 12:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was about to admit and open up to my good friend about the guy I like, who she's known longer than I have, until I heard her say something to another friend about him: "Stop pestering my sister's boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 80

Take a break

By Im tired - 31/12/2025 22:00

Today, out of pure exhaustion, I laughed way too hard at something my coworker said. I got the giggles, and I couldn't stop. When everyone stopped talking, I realized I was the only one still laughing, sounding unhinged. I need a vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 112

Free Parking!

By Parked - 19/07/2026 09:00 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I took the last parking spot in a crowded lot, got out feeling victorious, then immediately stepped in a puddle deep enough to soak my foot all the way through to my sock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 108

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The Top

Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 029

You deserved it 5 171

Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 797

You deserved it 6 026

Today, the parent of a student called to ask me about a homework assignment. At the end of the call, she told me that I seem to be losing my "Asian accent" from when she first talked to me in the summer. I was born in the US, grew up in NJ and speak perfect English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 916

You deserved it 3 404

Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 548

You deserved it 3 573

Today, while working at the vet, we had a familiar little dog show up for a minor procedure. The dog always sits on its owner's lap on the drive over, and always gets peed on. Not talking about dog pee. And we're not allowed to bathe it because that service costs extra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 848

You deserved it 376

Today, I had a job interview. I got there as quick as I could, having to travel two hours into a city I'd never been to. When I arrived, they told me I was turned down for being too late. They'd rescheduled the interview an hour earlier and I wasn't notified of the change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 719

You deserved it 211