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It's the new fashion statement

By Anonymous - 17/08/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I was late for work and grabbed what I thought was my black coat from the hallway. Halfway to the bus stop, I noticed it was my roommate's dark bathrobe. I still wore it because going back would've made me even later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 155

Give my regards to Broad Street

By LieutenantDimwit - 15/02/2026 12:00

Today, I was about to cross the fabled Abbey Road street crossing for a photo. Like an idiot, I didn’t pay attention to the road. As I began crossing, a lady on her e-bike frantically swerved out of the way and ate the pavement. In front of 30 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 606

The pros and cons of FWB

By Little mermaid - 05/03/2026 12:00

Today, I got to speak to a friend with benefits and he’s been stringing me along for months now. We finally got the chance to do the deed and my husband ruined it. Now he only speaks to me when it’s convenient for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 1 014

No social media, no problems

By Alex - 01/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I was confronted by a friend, who I didn’t invite to an outing with the rest of our friends because we think she’s annoying. I'd posted a photo and I'd apparently forgot to exclude her from viewing it in the post settings. She’s also my ride to and from school. She told me, “I hope you can afford Uber/Lyft.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 1 055

Synchronize your watches

By Anonymous - 24/12/2025 20:00

Today, I texted my partner that I was “on my way.” I then sat on the couch doomscrolling for another 25 minutes. When I finally left, I ran into him in the parking lot, holding groceries, staring at me like I’d just lied for the fun of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 839

I'm horny, horny horny horny

By It was a mistake!! - 12/11/2025 20:00

Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 1 016

Bad friend

By Anonymous - 31/10/2025 15:00

Today, my friend threw a milkshake at a guy spinning a sign on the side of the road. The guy stormed over and dragged my friend out the car window. When I jumped out to help, I'd forgotten to put my car in park, and it rolled across the street and hit a ditch. Then the sign spinner kicked both our asses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 1 087

I'm a bad person

By Oops - 01/11/2025 00:00

Today, at a fancy date, my boyfriend said he forgot his wallet. I was instantly furious, threw a drink in his face, and yelled that he was a no-good, tiny-dicked broke loser. Dripping wine, he then said, "…but I can still pay with my phone. You didn't let me finish." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 1 474

One hell of a hangover

By Ouchiewowow - 11/07/2026 15:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, my friend dared me to break a liquor bottle on my head. I slammed it into my head so hard I got dizzy, then did it a SECOND time and knocked myself out so hard that I pissed and shat myself. My head hurts really badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 1 027

Common area

By Anonymous - 07/03/2026 09:00

Today, I explained to my new neighbors that my kids will continue to use the pool in the backyard as they have for years. The neighbor immediately said my kids are not welcome in her yard and she is building a fence. I don’t know how to explain to my sweet babies they no longer have their pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 1 781

Payback

By Stupid stupid stupid - 30/01/2026 22:00

Today, I bumped into a guy I bullied for years at a bar. He was actually cool and laughed about it, but my stupid drunk ass kept urging him to hit me because I felt bad about it. We went outside and he thrashed me. At least we're friends now, I guess… FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 666

Sia is drunk again

By Not Sia - 21/12/2025 09:00

Today, during a wild party, I climbed up to the second floor, over a railing, and leapt for the chandelier, screaming, "I'M GONNA SWING FROM THE CHANDELIER!" I swung for a second, everyone was cheering, and then the chandelier gave way. Now I'm in hospital with millions of stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 1 014

Threadbare

By I was just joking - 26/01/2026 09:00

Today, I found out the hard way that other people can see your replies on Threads. I’m now sleeping on the couch and my girlfriend gave me 10 days to find another place to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 975

Military time is best

By Late lateeee - 09/06/2026 09:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my phone alarm didn't go off this morning. Furious, I spent ten minutes complaining about technology before realizing I'd carefully set the alarm for 7:00 PM instead of 7:00 AM. The technology was actually innocent for once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 398

Too little, too late

By Anonymous - 29/11/2025 00:00

Today, after a few years of not feeling ready since my daughter born, I went to my ex's apartment to tell her I am ready to be a dad. Turns out she moved out, two years ago, and left me forwarding address for me. I tried calling her phone. The number was disconnected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 1 345

Tricky

By Anonymous - 29/06/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I started building a basic bookshelf from a flat-pack kit without looking at the instructions, because "How hard could it be?" I finished just as the last screw went in, then noticed the back panel was facing outwards and every shelf was upside down. Taking it apart took longer than putting it together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 563

Ironic

By Pookie - 09/02/2026 22:00

Today, I saw someone at the buffet get two plates in a row. I told my date that, “People nowadays have no self control.” Unbeknownst to me, he was within earshot and told me, “FYI, I was getting a plate for my disabled mother.” After dinner, my date unmatched me and blocked my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 1 170

Dire straits

By Sandy - 09/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I called my ex to ask if he could help with bills and buying some nice things for my son. He said, "Look, I'm not going to keep doing husband and father shit for a woman who won't marry me and a kid who isn't mine. Go call his dad." His dad is a deadbeat. He knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 1 462

Hey you!

By I was very drunk - 14/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, after a boozy lunch, I drunkenly waved at what I thought was my reflection in a shop window. The person inside waved back. I laughed and kept walking. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd spent the entire interaction waving at someone standing in a café. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 326

You made your bed…

By Anonymous - 27/10/2025 09:00

Today, I asked my employee, who I desperately need, who I forced into a position she explicitly stated she didn't want, if she could stop cursing out the field employees. She said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 939

Stolen valor

By ohhhhsi - 14/10/2025 12:00

Today, having had previous bad luck with getting ghosted on my Hinge dates, I told a guy I served in the Marines to impress him and hopefully score a second date. I'd told him I did my basic training at Fort Leonard Wood. He frowned and said, "That's a US Army training base." He got up and left me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 1 141

Are you OK?

By Anonymous - 02/12/2025 09:00

Today, I answered a call I thought was from my friend and opened with, “What do you want, fuck face?” It was actually my dentist confirming my appointment. There was a long pause before she politely repeated my name to ensure they had the right patient. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 519

Classic

By Diane - 12/09/2025 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I pretended to be on the phone to avoid small talk with someone from my building. I spoke loudly into the phone while walking by them. My phone rang in the middle of my fake conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 491

I'm outta here

By Anonymous - 15/11/2025 03:00

Today, I set an out-of-office auto-reply for my work email saying, “Currently out of the office, pretending to care somewhere else.” I forgot to turn it off. My boss emailed me three times before I noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 545

Assumptions

By Girlboss - 06/02/2026 20:00

Today, I was conducting a meeting via Zoom when I saw one of my subordinates drinking from a brightly colored can that looked like beer. I loudly called him out, interrupting one of my colleagues. He held it up and clearly visible was "SELTZER" on the can. Not even hard seltzer, just regular. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 802

Overreacting

By Anonymous - 13/02/2026 00:00

Today, I thought my man was cheating on me. I took a screenshot his bank transactions because I found a woman’s name. I went down a rabbit hole and it turned out it’s the name of an actual store / company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 675

What's wrong with me?

By Saddened - 21/06/2026 09:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I went to the gym. This really fat and gross guy got on the machine next to men and I figured he'd hit on me but he didn't even look at me the whole class. Now my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 1 157

Risky road

By Gimme money - 24/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, desperate for money, I stepped out in front of a car, hoping to get a hefty bribe not to take the driver to court. He slammed on his brakes and barely tapped me. When I fell onto his hood and started screaming, a passerby said, "That's the fakest scam attempt I've ever seen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 1 110

Because I got high

By Sam - 08/09/2025 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was high on Marijuana and scrolling through Facebook when I couldn't figure out why I was seeing so much FML Posts no matter how far I scrolled and I was getting annoyed. Then I realized I was specifically on the FML Facebook Page and forgot because I was so high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 458

Self-awareness Day

By Luciano - 11/08/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my coworker is two months pregnant. I used condoms with her every time, so I’m not sure how the fuck it happened. I’m the only man she’s been with. I tried to give her money for an abortion but she insists on keeping it. She knows damn well I have a real wife and kids, and I can’t afford to lose them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 656

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The Top

Today, I told my mom I was going hiking with a couple of friends and wouldn't be back for four or more hours. Not even two hours later, she called the cops and reported us as missing. She didn't realize that we wouldn't have service up the canyon so we could call her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 769

You deserved it 2 370

Today, I've now worked on Thanksgiving, Black Friday, the weekend after that, and two days this week. My husband and son have had all that time off, and yet I've still ended up having to clean the dishes and the house after them on all of these days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 408

You deserved it 5 690

Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 349

You deserved it 3 404

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 206

You deserved it 6 215

Today, I was hanging out with my friends and my sister, we were all wasted and I was making jokes. My sister then gets a phone call, I leave the room to get a drink and I hear everyone go a bit silent I come back in and all of the sudden everyone looks at me. My friend says, "Um… I'm so sorry, your mom passed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 617

You deserved it 181

Today, so you know how in the movies there’s a dad who discovers he’s not actually the dad because they had to get a DNA test, and it’s funny because it’s all just a movie. Real life isn’t that funny. My twin boys had to go to hospital for blood tests and so on, and it turns out they’re not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 78