The Top

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The top of the year

Sounds about right

By Anonymous - 18/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I spent an hour frantically searching for my car keys, turning the entire apartment upside down. After giving up and calling a locksmith, I found the keys… in the fridge. Because apparently I put my leftover pizza on top of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 387

First world problems

By Anonymous - 20/06/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my Brita filter for my pitcher needs a replacement. This wouldn't be even remotely that big of a deal, except this month I also ran out on a few other necessities that weren't exactly what one would call cheap. I'm trying to both save money but also learn more healthy habits (like drinking more water). FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 265

Pay attention

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 15:00 - United States - Newport

Today, I was at a busy restaurant and, in a rush, walked into the men’s restroom instead of the women’s. I was so focused on my phone that I didn’t notice the stares, or the guy at the sink giving me the confused glare. When I finally looked up and saw the urinals, I practically sprinted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 637

His little lipstick

By poopface82 - 06/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was exhausted after three solid weeks of having my kids. After I got home, my dog decided to get intimate with his stuffed animal toy. I now know what my dog’s dong looks like, and that he’s gotten more action in the last two months than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 230

Oddly specific turn off

By FatCoco - 08/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, my Tinder date ordered a separate check and said there won’t be a second date, all because I ordered my meal without vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 437

Boom!

By Anonymous - 09/07/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, my husband is such a tight-wadded cheapskate that his idea of “taking the family out” is going to Costco to try all the samples. PS: Yes, I work too, so he’s not the only “provider", he’s just cheap and boring as all hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 149

Check, please!

By No second date - 13/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a fun, attractive girl. She ordered off the kid's menu, drowned her food in ketchup, and said my burger with blue cheese and bacon was disgusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 173

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The Top

Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 984

You deserved it 4 225

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's totally convinced I'm gay. When I tried explaining that I can't be if I'm attracted to her, she took it as me thinking she's mannish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 399

You deserved it 3 665

Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 616

You deserved it 41 670

Today, I spent the night at a friend's house after drinking. My phone died and I didn’t charge it. My mom decided I was a missing person, and all of her friends on Facebook decided to post that I was missing. I’m a 27 year-old adult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 133

Today, my new drone got stuck on the neighbour's roof. I'd bought the drone to look at my roof because I don’t like going up on ladders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 664

Today, I broke my toe on a decorative statue I bought for our front yard. My husband warned me it took up too much space and was a hazard, and now I get to hear him say, "I told you so." FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 1 041