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    : 320



    Nervous

    Z…… - 08/05/2025 04:00 - China

    Today, I went to the hospital for constant dizziness and insomnia, and was diagnosed with anxiety. I figured out that the main source of my anxiety is not my job but my boyfriend, who has avoidant personality, which makes him constantly refuse almost everything that I request. He's a guy who just doesn't know how to show his love. FML
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    Praise the Lord

    Anonymous - 11/05/2025 05:00 - United States

    Today, at 7am on a Saturday, my next door neighbor set up a preacher guy with a mic and large speaker. It's 2pm, and I can still hear him screaming about Jesus through my foam insulated walls and $300 noise canceling headphones. I can't sleep, and I'm injured so I can't leave home. That's my Shabbat ruined! FML
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    Falling

    Kassy - 16/05/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

    Today, I treated myself to an hour long massage. Halfway through, I mumbled, “Thank you” to the masseuse and, without thinking, added, “I love you.” There was a long pause. Then she patted my head and whispered, “You’re welcome.” FML
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    Looking good

    Gracie - 20/05/2025 12:00 - Canada - Calgary

    Today, at the gym, I caught sight of myself in the mirror while lifting weights and thought, “Damn, I look good!” I smiled. Then I realized the mirror was actually a window. A group of people outside had been watching me flex with a shit-eating grin on my face for God know how long. FML
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    Samson v. Delilah

    Sagar - 24/05/2025 03:30 - India - Bengaluru

    Today, and after I started losing my hair during my high school, my confidence is gone. I've struggled approaching women and have missed many opportunities. I'm 36 years-old now. Today, I connected with someone online, and when I told her about my situation, her response was, "Sorry, I'm not feeling that spark." FML
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    Angry gamers

    Anonymous - 25/05/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my stupid husband took away my Xbox because he happened to read the game warning that pregnant women should take precautions before playing. I have two months of bed rest left before I give birth and no Xbox. I’ll go mad if I have to just sit and watch TV. I want my Assassin's Creed back. FML
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    Sure about that?

    Anonymous - 27/05/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, I told my dad that my boyfriend and I were thinking about moving in together. Without missing a beat, he looked at my boyfriend and said, “Brave man. You sure you want to sign up for 24/7 mood swings and hair in the drain?” My boyfriend laughed. A little too hard for my liking. FML
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    Strange system

    Anonymous - 29/05/2025 09:00 - Sweden - Gothenburg

    Today, I was expecting a big sum of money for skipping last year's vacation while working as a freelancer, as I've done the last four years. Turns out I won't get the money, as last month I accepted a full time employment, and now that money has been turned into vacation days instead. Guess I won't buy a new home yet… FML
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    Get on with it

    Anonymous - 31/05/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, our manager went on a screaming tantrum because he says none of us wants to work and we make him look bad to the bosses. Yeah, the reason we’re not working is because he forgot to order our steel this week. Can’t do custom welding without the materials, boss. FML
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    Sticking with you

    Anonymous - 03/06/2025 16:00 - Syria

    Today, I went on a volunteering trip with a team. We had only a pickup car for like 20 people, so 5 of us squeezed in the back seats while the rest hopped on the back. My knee got stuck right on another guy's crotch and it was impossible for us to change position. We stayed for 40 minutes like that, me feeling his penis the entire time. FML
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    Pizza? In this economy?

    I do cook just FYI - 05/06/2025 03:00 - United States - New York

    Today, yet again, we have a fridge full of food, but my wife asked if we can order pizza in front of the kids, who all started jumping in excitement yelling, "PIZZA!" Now I can either say no and deal with pouting and tantrums, or waste money on crappy pizza. FML
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    Thanks, Canada!

    Cough Cough - 06/06/2025 20:00 - United States - Steele

    Today, just like every other day, I live in the Midwest. If you're not living in the Midwest, and you're wondering how we're doing with the Canadian wildfire smoke, I'm here to tell you that we're quite miserable. Especially if you're me, a person who already has very janky lungs. I'm afraid to leave the house. FML
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    Chance encounter

    Anonymous - 12/06/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I was at our local park and saw what I thought was my sister holding her baby. I walked up behind her, kissed her on the head, and said, “You’re such a good mum.” It was very much not my sister. It was a very confused and now probably traumatised stranger. FML
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    Love language

    gummy bear -

    Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend, "Where art thou, my love?" via SMS. She replied, "Toilet." FML
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    He has a type

    Anonymous - 15/06/2025 16:00 - United States - Boise

    Today, I noticed my crush of almost 3 years was talking to me a lot more at school. He seemed genuinely comfortable around me, even playing with my rings during class. I thought maybe I had a chance. Nope. A mutual friend just told me he likes another girl. A girl who coincidentally looks just like me but skinnier. FML
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    Manly man

    Anonymous - 17/06/2025 14:00 - United States - Warren

    Today, I realized that I don't use my brand new $200 electric razor enough to justify the cost. It works perfectly fine, I just only use it once every two weeks instead of every day like everyone else does, all because my facial hair doesn't grow thick enough. FML
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    Invasion of privacy

    Anonymous - 19/06/2025 21:00 - Australia - Perth

    Today, I was hiding in the toilets at work, catching a quick pee/phone/vape break between patients. Pants down, scrolling my phone, puffing away. Suddenly the stall door opens and my manager is standing in front of me, staring. The stall door latch hadn’t closed properly. Now I can’t look her in the eye. FML
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    Stolen valor

    Anonymous - 21/06/2025 09:00 - United States

    Today, I got a text from my mom that said, “I’m so proud of you!” I immediately replied, “Thanks, Mom!” Then I realized it was meant for my sister, and my mom had accidentally texted me instead of her. FML
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    The main attraction

    Born Slippy - 23/06/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I was walking on a rainy pavement in new shoes. Suddenly, I slipped, flailed my arms wildly, and landed flat on my back. The worst part? I was in front of a pub window. It was the middle of the day but still had people in it. Thankfully, no one applauded, because British people prefer to smirk in silence. A kid did give me a thumbs-up, which was nice. FML
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    Still on the hook

    Just too submissive - 24/06/2025 22:00 - Netherlands

    Today, my ex said he was coming by to get some of his stuff, and that if I wanted to talk, I should be on my knees in my best lingerie. I was furious and wrote a text telling him how awful and misogynistic he was… then deleted it, put on my best lingerie, and am now waiting by the door on my knees for him. FML
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    Thank you for your service

    Too Fat4 U - 01/07/2025 18:00 - United States

    Today, I heard the guy I love talk to a friend of his. He was telling his friend how he appreciates all my attention, affection, and random gestures such as buying him lunch sometimes, but he’ll never see me in a romantic way because I’m “too fat for his taste.” I was basically used the entire time. FML
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    Just put it on, dude

    BING BING BING - 07/07/2025 16:00 - Japan - Tokyo

    Today, I started a road trip with friends. The friend who is driving doesn't wear seat belts. BING BING BING. 400 miles to go. BING BING BING. FML
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    Shy guy

    Jen - 09/07/2025 04:00 - Romania

    Today, I took my son to a birthday party. He spent the entire time clinging to my hand and refused to play with his friends, eat, or participate in activities. His friend tried to pull him away from me, but he refused to go. When we left, he started crying because he felt left out. FML
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    Betrayed

    Anonymous - 10/07/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I found out that my husband never actually took our new healthy lifestyle seriously when his coworker told me that now, instead of at the house, he keeps beer and cigars at his brother's house, and visits the Burger King drive through every day for lunch. FML
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    Magic morning treat fairy

    PuppiesKisses - 14/07/2025 05:00 - United States

    Today, my corgi brought her new favorite treat into my bed: a rotting deer hoof with six inches of leg. She left it on my pillow, and the smell woke me up. She wasn't even on the bed when I woke up. FML
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    The Boo Radleys?

    Anonymous - 18/07/2025 03:00 - United States

    Today, I was running late and tried to sneak out of the house without waking anyone up. My phone alarm, which I forgot was set on max volume, blasted a loud “WAKE UP!” at 7 AM right as I opened the front door. Everyone in the house was wide awake instantly. FML
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    WHAT DO YOU WANT?

    Anonymous - 19/07/2025 20:00 - United States

    Today, I knocked on the door of my friend’s apartment to surprise her. It opened, and an angry stranger shouted, “Who are you?” at me. I then realized I was on the wrong floor of the building. My friend still doesn’t know I almost barged in on her neighbor, because I'm too embarrassed to tell her. FML
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    Many such cases

    Anonymous - 27/07/2025 00:00 - United States

    Today, I received an office-wide email about our new boss. I meant to forward it to my friend with, “He looks like he eats mayonnaise straight from the jar.” However, I hit "Reply All" instead. Including said new boss. FML
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    Wine about it

    Anonymous - 30/07/2025 06:00 - United States

    Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I'm at a conference where letting loose is expected and, to a point, encouraged. I've been sober for 2.5 years and am pretty sure I managed to piss off just about everyone with how miserable I was listening to them describe my former favorite mixed drinks and shots. I miss wine. FML
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    Just take the W

    sexy…i guess - 02/08/2025 17:00 - United States

    Today, I found out that my sister’s friends think I’m “hot” and “sexy.” They’re nine. FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
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    Today, I leaned against a bus window and felt something wet soak into my shoulder. I turned and realized I had just pressed into someone’s half-eaten tuna sandwich wedged into the seat crack. I went on to smelling like fish and mayo all day. FML
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    Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me screaming, "My precious!" FML
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    Today, I moved into my new house. I went over to my neighbors' house to introduce myself. As they opened the door I saw a telescope pointed at my house. FML
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    Today, I had to drive over an hour away to buy toilet paper. FML
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    Today, after my old downstairs neighbor, who would come upstairs to bang on my door and yell at me every time she heard a sound from me at all times of the day, had finally moved out, it became clear that my new downstairs neighbor gets drunk and yells at the TV in the early hours of the morning. FML
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    Today, my parents decided to "discipline" my kitten by spraying her with water. This somehow managed to completely un-train her, and now she's back to being the compulsive biter she was when I first brought her home. FML
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