By Fish Breath - 03/06/2016 22:26 - United States - Bloomington
The Top
By Scarred Nephew - 10/05/2016 22:28 - United States - Allen
By 43vera10n3 - 19/09/2018 08:58 - United States - Huntsville
raven_of_azarath tells us more.
Not a morning person
By Anonymous - 26/07/2018 01:30
By Anonymous - 20/04/2016 14:34 - United States - Baton Rouge
By broken down and flat broke - 17/04/2016 14:41 - United States - Alexandria
By Anthony - 14/04/2016 23:15 - France
By Koko - 07/04/2016 16:07 - Germany - Berlin
By NowBroke - 04/04/2016 09:38 - United Kingdom - Malmesbury
By goddamn chicken subs - 24/03/2016 16:51 - United States
Steamy
By Hotdamn - 21/03/2016 04:32 - United States - San Francisco
By AreYouSerious - 16/09/2018 22:00
By minimazing - 07/10/2018 05:00
By h00tzForOsi - 28/02/2016 07:45 - United States - Providence
h00tzForOsi tells us more.
Was not expecting this to get posted haha. I see comments saying to tone down the goofiness, trust me I've tried all my life. It's not that simple. For the comments assuming I was obnoxious, that's just not the case. I smile and laugh a lot for what appears to be no reason. But this is usually caused by what I'm thinking of or awkwardness. For the people telling me to take a drug test, um yea about that lol... I'd fail that test harder than people supporting Hillary Clinton solely for her gender. For the people saying I wasn't professional, I work on a machine all day and the only professional part of my job is keeping a quick pace. As for being written up I sorted that out. I have only worked here for 3 months and the supervisor I dealt with hasn't been here for a few months so she isn't familiar with how I am. I spoke to one of the other supervisors who spoke to her and it's all good. For the record I wasn't stoned. Oh and #5 hell yea I am:) nice to see someone who looks on the bright side.
By bregaja - 25/02/2016 18:59 - United States - Brandon
Cuff him to the bed
By appendicitisanyone - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Fairfield
By almost broke - 21/02/2016 13:24 - Czech Republic - Brno
Oh, hai Mark!
By scarredforlife - 12/02/2016 09:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North
By Anonymous - 05/11/2018 22:00
By whydadwhy - 29/01/2016 22:52 - United States - Clyde
whydadwhy tells us more.
Hey, OP here. Anyways, for those who are saying I should take it as a joke--he was fully serious when he said it. He's not the best human being. He's done this before, and I don't know why he specifically attacks my son's kitten. He's threatened to let the cat outside so it can get hit by a car, has said he hopes it runs away and never comes back, and I even caught him trying to kick and/or chuck it out of a room. He repeated what he said to my husband, but claimed that my son couldn't take a joke and refused to apologize. My son was speechless when he said it and went to his room because he didn't want to be seen crying. He's only 8; he doesn't need to hear that his grandfather wants to kill his cat. My husband did the responsible thing and told my father that he thinks he shouldn't be involved with my son that much anymore.
By Anonymous - 18/12/2018 12:00
By anonymous - 06/03/2019 14:00
Call the cops!
By epipen life - 11/03/2019 00:00 - United States
Insecure
By Anonymous - 25/03/2019 18:00 - United States - Rio Rancho
Perv
By niquey62307 - 08/12/2009 03:36 - United States
By Anonymous - 15/11/2015 17:36 - United States - Show Low
Double standards
By onlywantuanyway - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Too late
By hinting - 17/06/2013 16:43 - United States - Dearborn
Opportunity knocks
By fuckyou - 21/05/2019 06:00
By Kuromaus - 15/05/2017 12:34
Kuromaus tells us more.
Hey, OP here. A few things I couldn't put due to word limits: the flight I was getting off was coming in late due to weather. I literally had one minute to get to the gate once off the plane. The connecting flight had started loading at the same time we landed. On top of that, the crew to dock us were having issues and delayed us in getting off. I wouldn't have even had time to stop at a bathroom on the way. The gate I needed to get to was upstairs. Since it was a delay out of my control, I did get moved to another flight for free, it just happened to be the latest one heading back to home. I could have probably made it to (or barely missed) last call if I hauled it but I was not going to do that while bleeding. I didn't know that airplanes had amenities like that in the bathroom. I've never actually been in one, and it was only my second time flying. (That toilet paper trick doesn't work for me, mine is too heavy, sadly.)
Keywords
This actually happened a few months ago, and I was more upset that I wasn’t invited cuz my roommate I was good friends with had also just gotten married but didn’t invite me, despite me having been part of the proposal, and I found out that I wouldn’t be able to afford to travel to my brother’s future wedding that I have been invited to. I am moved on now, and while he will always hold a special place in my heart, I’m in a fully committed relationship now that I can see leading to marriage one day.