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By themonesterman - 03/04/2014 02:25 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my grandmother is coming over to my family's house to stay for about a week or so. Apparently, the guest room window isn't big enough for her dream catcher, so she wants her cat to sleep in the guest room and she wants to sleep in my room. My parents support this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 518

You deserved it 3 868

themonesterman tells us more.

themonesterman 12

Thursday 3 April 2014 13:43

Update: The point of thr FML was not to complain about giving my room for my grandma, but it was to complain about: A) Her reasoning for not taking the guest room. B) The cat.

Nagging

By Anonymous - 21/07/2022 02:00 - United States - Gladwyne

Today, I found out that my nephew isn’t actually aroace (aromantic/asexual). He lied so I would stop asking him about his love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 2 052

By awks - 01/04/2014 00:43 - Australia - Doncaster East

Today, I was dismissed from my job at an unemployment agency. In order to receive financial support from the government I need to be cooperating with a job service provider. They paired me up with the same place I was just fired from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 066

You deserved it 3 710

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 934

You deserved it 73 836

Snitch

By Anonymous - 15/05/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, as revenge for not buying her a new iPhone, my twelve-year-old daughter told her father that my boyfriend, who just moved in with us, is on the sex offender list. My ex turned my boyfriend into the cops and his parole could be revoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 1 815

By 3hoursleftofwork - 28/03/2012 18:02 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, the magic of witnessing a sheep giving birth was ruined for me when I slipped and fell in the puddle of birth fluids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 768

You deserved it 5 380

Classic mistake

By Anonymous - 25/07/2022 16:00

Today, there's an ongoing family situation which is stressful and frustrating. I had to deal with something having to do with that for my sister-in-law. I was annoyed and wanted to vent to my partner; but I didn’t double check who I was texting, and I sent a text about my SIL to my SIL. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 1 285

Boss makes a dollar…

By Anonymous - 02/06/2025 05:53 - United States - Olympia

Today, after one year of overworking myself to the point of panic attacks multiple times a week, I finally got my annual raise, which is given based on performance and effort. My warehouse's minimum production is 95. I regularly was in the 130s. My raise was 2 cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 225

Alesana_pond tells us more.

Alesana_pond 9

Monday 2 June 2025 5:41

op here!!! I have since quit! **** Michael's.

By wils - 24/07/2010 09:49 - United States

Today, after work, I peeled a parking ticket off my windshield. It was so hot that the ink from the ticket made a stamp on my windshield. Now I have a permanent reminder staring me in the face wherever I drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 674

You deserved it 7 909

By anonmys - 18/07/2010 21:47 - United States

Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 482

You deserved it 19 438

By UH-OH - 15/03/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, I sat next to an attractive punk-rock guy on a plane. I tried impressing him by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked on The Who and opened a large window with the album cover so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was faced with a giant picture of Miley Cyrus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 709

You deserved it 117 598

I'm an empath

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 16:00

Today, after years of miscarriages and desperately wanting a child, I lost my temper and screamed at my sister after she announced she'd had an abortion last month. Now no one in the family will speak to me, since I referred to her adopted kids as, "Not really her children." FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 1 951

Delayed

By melyeah - 02/03/2013 14:14 - Australia - Sydney

Today, to avoid a massive delay on our scheduled flight at the airport, we were generously moved to an earlier flight home. An hour later, our new flight had been cancelled and they told us we'd be stuck at the airport overnight. Our original flight took off fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 303

You deserved it 3 730

By Anonymous - 22/03/2012 20:17 - United States - Fresno

Today, I twisted my ankle during a round of golf, after trying to do a fancy jumping high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 260

You deserved it 26 178

Silver linings, eh?

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my wife, daughter, and I get to spend the next four hours in the ER. Why? Because we're all throwing up at the same time. At least it counts as a family activity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 281

You deserved it 3 523

By frenchfrypotater - 24/09/2009 23:50 - United States

Today, it was our wedding anniversary. My husband takes me and our young son to a family-style chain restaurant. Hoping for a little romance, I ask him what he's excited about in our future, and he says how we shouldn't eat out like this anymore so we can afford to pay our income taxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 645

You deserved it 4 289

Thanks

By Lonely Heathen - 24/11/2023 07:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my coworkers had a Thanksgiving party, but it was Christians only, so I wasn't invited. I'm an expat, and I don't know any other Americans here. I was lonely, so I invited a non-American friend out to dinner. She said she couldn't go because she was invited to a Thanksgiving party. I spent the evening alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 177

Get some rest

By Anonymous - 20/06/2021 18:01

Today, I dislocated my shoulder doing a really big stretch when I woke up. After the doctor relocated it, my dad told me I still had to do my chores. No excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 146

Perfectionist

By Carlweezer5296 - 31/05/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was working on a middle school project that needed to be at a 900 percent or above, this being my math level. I take a 8th grade algebra class so I needed mine to well be a 900, and after months of working I'd got it there. I got one answer wrong and it sent me to 860, where I’ve been for the last 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 133

Some kind of special

By thatswhatsup66 - 20/03/2012 19:01 - United States - Greer

Today, I was at a restaurant, and I saw my friend. When we made eye contact, I made a creepy face at her and twitched my arms to make her laugh. A woman looked over said sadly, "Oh my God, that poor girl!" She thought I was "special." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 740

You deserved it 26 985

Not for everyone

By Anonymous - 06/08/2022 00:00

Today, a woman with the cutest baby ever sat next to us at Starbucks. My response: “Aw, how cute.” My adult daughter's response: “Ew.” No chance of a grandchild anytime soon I think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 887

Mom of the week

By please come home - 30/11/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, my son spilled his milk at the table. My wife got in his face and screamed that he took her body, her career, her friends, and her life from her, then stormed out of the house. He won't stop wailing and crying, she won't answer her phone, and I'm completely shattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 238

Hush

By bitchyhiccups - 19/03/2012 13:14 - United States - Tempe

Today, I got a horrible case of the hiccups while at my friend's mother's funeral, resulting in me squeaking loudly every five seconds during the eulogy. My friend glared daggers at me until I left the room, then later accused me of being an insensitive bitch for "trying to ruin the funeral." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 382

You deserved it 4 519

X Æ A-12

By invalid - 07/06/2021 10:59

Today, while applying for jobs, every single application has been giving me the error message, "Name not valid." Sorry the name my parents gave me isn’t good enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 121

By jamboooy - 18/03/2012 06:01 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, I locked myself out of the house. After hours of ringing the doorbell and calling my roommate, I decided to break the window. When I finally got in, my roommate was waiting with a can of pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 739

You deserved it 3 237

jamboooy tells us more.

jamboooy 11

Sunday 18 March 2012 17:50

My old friends brother.

By Migole - 24/02/2013 01:42 - Germany - Leverkusen

Today, a colleague gave me an expensive box of chocolates for my birthday. I was surprised she spent so much on me, but didn't think much of it. Only when I got back home and excitedly opened the box did I realise the chocolates had expired months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 349

You deserved it 2 534

Migole tells us more.

Migole 36

Sunday 24 February 2013 23:14

Those were still fine luckily but in general it can expire, yes. It becomes all grey and greasy and tastes like soap. Not nice :/

By ThisPerson - 19/05/2011 10:11 - Canada

Today, my 53 year-old art teacher told me she's excited about going clubbing this weekend. I'm excited about watching a special on the History Channel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 281

You deserved it 6 702

NOT THE MAN BUN!

By Anonymous - 06/12/2023 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I watched my future son-in-law try and fail to parallel park 8 times before he gave up and started crying. That’s the 4th time he’s cried this weekend. I’m trying so hard to understand why my daughter loves him. He’s an unemployed little crybaby, with a man bun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 258

By elmalo68 - 20/09/2009 01:22 - United States

Today, I must find a gentle way to tell my 71-year-old mother that she's too old to be wearing shirts that expose her belly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 278

You deserved it 3 221

Bunch of amateurs

By Anonymous - 14/12/2023 09:00 - Australia - Wacol

Today, I got my 9 year-old daughter back from a sleepover at my mum's. My 17 year-old niece was also staying there at the same time, and heard my daughter complaining that her fringe was in her eyes. My niece decided to cut my daughter's hair. There are now chunks missing and it's all uneven. No one asked my permission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 175

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The Top

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 534

You deserved it 6 048

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 922

You deserved it 4 915

Today, I had drinks at a friend's house before going out to a concert. I still had a bottle of beer left, so I brought it along with me. I got kicked out five minutes into the show for bringing my own drink, which is apparently against the rules. I paid $75 to get kicked out over a $3 drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 760

You deserved it 47 527

Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 509

You deserved it 24 743

Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 379

You deserved it 5 977

Today, because I have an inner ear problem which gives me major vertigo and nausea, I spontaneously projectile vomited all over my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 93