The Top

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By mommytobe - 05/08/2011 03:56 - United States

Today, mom was so upset when she found out that she is having another granddaughter that she wants us to pay her back for the little boy clothes that she bought before the sex of the baby was known. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 220

You deserved it 2 523

By Jake - 29/04/2009 08:06 - Australia

Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 128

You deserved it 6 238

The customer is mainly an ass

By DeniseT26 - 09/04/2022 02:00

Today, at the hotel I work, I was at the pool folding towels. A girl comes in wearing a thong bikini bottom. Our rules prohibit thong swimsuits. When I pointed it out at her, she called me a “jealous fat bitch.” Turns out she left a one star review on Google, saying I was “rude” to her. I got written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 513

You deserved it 247

Time to bail

By Anonymous - 03/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I'm so tired of life. I work 16 hour shifts. My fiancee takes me for granted and I mean that seriously, I have to work 16 hours, 5 days a week, come home, take care of the house and the kids, while I listen to her complain about her 40 hour week. No sex and I don't control my money. I hate my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 337

By phoenixditch - 23/05/2013 07:13 - United States - Burke

Today, I was ditched by the guy I flew over two thousand miles to see. His excuse? "I'm just tired. I want to go home and sleep" Later, he checked in at a bar right down the street from the hotel on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 925

You deserved it 5 623

The golden child

By Gone - 16/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my wife changed her mind on us having kids, because her eight year-old son said he liked being an only child. She says that my devastated and angry reaction is incredibly unattractive and immature, and that I need to accept compromise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 94

Don't touch me

By Drama - 10/01/2025 03:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 131

Priorities

By Anonymous - 17/04/2022 12:00 - Gabon

Today, my near 70 year-old father posted his Wordle score to the family group chat. Two days after I'd messaged him a warm and lengthy congratulations on his 10-year sobriety anniversary — to which he never replied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 206

Bad hair day

By Alma - 12/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I spent 30 minutes fixing my hair to perfection, only to step outside and have it immediately ruined by a freak gust of rain and wind. The only thing I accomplished was looking like a disheveled bird's nest for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 189

By ewww - 30/07/2011 14:07 - United States

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 746

You deserved it 4 023

By sick - 06/10/2010 03:20 - United States

Today, I got up and left for work despite being really sick, because I had a big meeting. Halfway to work, in deadlocked traffic, my boss texts me to let me know he's rescheduling the meeting to tomorrow because of personal conflicts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 965

You deserved it 2 866

Sometimes you need a mess of help to stand alone

By Anonymous - 11/08/2023 04:00

Today, I realized that now that I've cut anyone who was toxic out my life, I now have no one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 220

All set

By Anonymous - 14/01/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was finishing up at the gym and packed my bag to come home. I set my phone on top of it for a second as I knelt down to tie my shoes. Less than a minute later, I grabbed my bag to walk out, forgetting that it was on top. It tumbled to the ground and smashed. Guess I need a new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 372

By obtuse_ballsack - 04/06/2012 20:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 764

You deserved it 2 767

One man and his dog

By This alarm clock can go fuck itself - 11/08/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, my roommate switched jobs and now goes to work in the morning. His dog has declared that going on a barking frenzy right after he leaves is a great thing to do. Earplugs don't work - I move too much and they fall out too easily. Only 30 more days until he moves out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 108

Fidgeting

By Anonymous - 17/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Plymouth

Today, I was on a first date when my lactose intolerance decided to make an appearance. My date thought I was just “getting comfy” when I kept shifting in my seat. Nope, I was trying not to fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 93

Adulting is getting worse

By Anonymous - 13/08/2023 08:00 - Australia

Today, after years of living week to week, I finally got enough money that I could start saving. The universe found out and I got hit with a $2,000, a $300, a $400, and a $800 bill, all within the space of a week. Bye, bye spare money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 118

By kay - 01/06/2012 21:08 - United Kingdom - Maidstone

Today, a homeless guy grabbed me and started ranting that "the Mayans were right" or some shit. He was making about as much sense as Charlie Sheen outside of a padded cell, so I shoved him away. That's when he decided to pull a knife and chase me all the way to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 005

You deserved it 4 361

Little *****

By Anonymous - 09/05/2022 12:00 - Australia

Today, and every other weekend for the past 4 weeks, my boyfriend has made the 2 and a half hour drive to come stay with me. For some reason, every time he comes down, we see 1 or 2 cockroaches in my house. I'm at home most of the time, and I never see any cockroaches. I swear they're conspiring to make me look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 173

Intelligent design

By Anonymous - 21/01/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our boss replaced all our computers with new Apple iMacs, which have fewer USB ports and none of our software or saved files. He insists it’s all “in the Cloud thing somewhere, figure it out and show some damn gratitude.” We are now incapable of doing our jobs but he insists he’s blameless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 68

By Anonymous - 30/09/2010 17:13 - United States

Today, I was playing basketball in our company gym. I took a shot from half court, and at that exact moment, an executive walked into the gym with an important potential client. My shot bounced off the side of the backboard, off some bleachers, and right into the client's head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 707

You deserved it 3 725

Can't win

By Anonymous - 17/03/2021 20:00 - Philippines - Manila

Today, my mom told me to stop using my phone and talk to them, but whenever I do that, they just end up yelling at me and telling me to go to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 152

Out of shape

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 04:00 - Australia

Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 166

Gruesome

By AbysmalAbyss - 11/03/2021 08:04

Today, it's been seven days since I had my wisdom tooth removed, under guidance from both a doctor and a dentist to help with frequent headaches. The dentist cut open my cheek during surgery, which got infected, and now I also have dry socket. My mouth is causing me agony, and so are my headaches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 90

By fleatitting fame - 04/07/2014 21:30 - Norway - Oslo

Today, a guy told me that I look like Angelina Jolie. Before I could thank him, he continued, "I mean like in the chest area. After the mastectomy, you know?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 940

You deserved it 3 796

Still funny though

By Jeff - 29/04/2022 02:00

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate with for the first time in a while, as I haven't been home, when the foul stench of our dog's fart made us gag. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 223

Lockdown blues

By Sed4life - 12/03/2021 05:01

Today, I realized just how small and boring my life has become when the highlight of my week was an "epic quest" to the edge of the lockdown limit, to visit the only store with my favorite toothpaste. They didn't even have any in stock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 169

I like things just right

By Nate S - 03/05/2022 06:00

Today, my wife got mad at me for buying Raisin Bran without almonds. I offered to add confectionery sliced almonds, which we already had at home. Her response, “That’s not the same thing.” It is exactly the same thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 218

By anonymous - 01/11/2009 13:37 - France

Today, my dad called me for the first time in weeks. All he wanted to tell me was that Ashlee Simpson got fired from Melrose Place. Then he hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 497

You deserved it 2 611

Save me!

By Zorah - 31/08/2023 04:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I went to the beach with friends. While splashing around in the ocean and waving to my friends who were sitting on the sand, I got caught in a strong current and had to be rescued by a lifeguard. They gave me a wristband that said, "Needs Adult Supervision". FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 332

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The Top

Today, my newly ex-fiancé, the father of my 5-year-old child, moved out of state with no warning. I just spent my last $500 paying off his car, and the rent is due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 717

You deserved it 6 256

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 532

You deserved it 4 915

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 611

You deserved it 4 952

Today, my girlfriends and I got a caricature painting while on a trip in the city. Unfortunately for me, the part of my appearance that the artist decided to exaggerate was my acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 48

Today, my psychotic ex-boyfriend hit a brand new low. I was served court papers, saying that he’s suing me by demanding I give him a paternity test for my daughter. He’s also telling everyone he’s her real father. He and I were broken up for more than a year before I even got pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 238

You deserved it 116

Today, my girlfriend of over a year said, "Being loved by you is the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced. I'm so thankful I now know how it feels to be treated with kindness…" Then the word "but" and her abusive, estranged husband's name were uttered in the same sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 157