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Medical malpractice

By Anonymous - 02/11/2024 09:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I went to the hospital for severe abdominal pain and nausea. I sat in the waiting room for six hours, just to be told, “We don’t know what’s wrong with you. Try taking Gravol and Tylenol and maybe lay off the fatty foods.” I feel like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 112

Humblebrag

By Anonymous - 05/11/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my wife is upset because at a party we took part in an X-rated 'Never Have I Ever', which exposed how filthy I was with past girlfriends, and how boring our sex life is. I’d done almost everything, while she, who’s only ever been with me, had only done 5 things off the list of about 40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 352

I'm only sleeping

By Anonymous - 10/06/2023 12:00 - Germany

Today, my body has decided that sleeping past 4 a.m. is strange idea and should be resisted. It is also of the opinion that any duration of sleep less than 10 hours per night constitutes a lack thereof, which deserves physical signs of tiredness, like looking several years older. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 136

Let's quit

By Anonymous - 07/11/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally sent my boss a meme about hating work. Her reply? "Same." FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 427

By Anon - 08/11/2010 18:34 - Singapore

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 056

You deserved it 4 189

I'm not lovin' it

By Anonymous - 12/01/2021 14:02

Today, at my new job at McDonald’s, they only had uniform pants in a size 36 or 56, nothing in between. I’m a size 40 so I squeezed into the 36. When I told my supervisor I couldn’t tuck my shirt into the pants like they asked, because I couldn’t close the top button, she told me to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 280

You deserved it 209

Trashed

By Millie07 - 07/11/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I was walking to my car after grocery shopping when I dropped my heavy-ass bag, which then ripped. Everything spilled out, and while I was picking it up, a kind stranger ran over to help me… by accidentally stepping on and smashing my carton of eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 97

By MetaNomad - 12/03/2012 11:55 - Peru

Today, I travelled in a shared taxi on the winding roads of the Peruvian Andes. The guy next to me felt sick and started to throw up. In Peru, they shove 8 people into a 5-seater car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 92

By Username - 06/11/2010 05:18 - France

Today, I was playing with my four month old daughter, flying her in the air like an airplane. I open my mouth saying 'Weeee', and she vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 665

You deserved it 15 744

Don't ask questions if you might not like the answer

By Anonymous - 15/06/2023 00:02

Today, I "hacked" my girlfriend's phone and found out she's been cheating on me for the last 6 months. She's pissed at me because I hacked her phone and invaded her privacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 445

It's all so quiet…

By Louis - 13/11/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, I finally felt brave enough to sing karaoke in public. I was halfway through the song when the restaurant’s power went out, leaving me singing my heart out in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 120

By Crash - 10/09/2014 20:15 - United States - Hicksville

Today, I took my daughter out driving to practice for her road test. I told her to make a left into a parking lot. She missed the 30-foot wide entrance, but not the two-foot wide tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 874

You deserved it 4 057

By pumboc - 24/06/2013 05:38 - Australia - Glen Waverley

Today, I thought I was home alone. Likewise, my visiting grandfather thought he was alone. You can imagine the mutual surprise when I caught him stealing money from my sister's bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 279

You deserved it 3 113

Snap

By Lost Reggie - 15/11/2024 09:00 - United States - Vilonia

Today, I was at work, eating coleslaw of all things, and my tooth broke in half. Diagonally. The bottom half fell out into my coleslaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 78

By Anonymous - 03/11/2010 18:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum and I decided to go on a hike. Beforehand we left my car at the end of the trail and took my mums car to the beginning. After 4 hours we arrived at my car. I had left my keys in mums car. It was a long walk back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 392

You deserved it 29 343

Can't handle it

By Anonymous - 20/01/2021 14:01 - Germany

Today, I feel hung over. Don’t feel up to anything except slouching on the sofa, nursing my headache. Must have been one hell of a party, lots of booze, right? Actually, all I did was go to bed at 11:30 last night, instead of my usual 8:30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 183

By StillPissedOffAtIrony - 06/09/2014 17:25 - United States - Hialeah

Today, my mother yelled at me for not doing all of my homework. She got so mad, she tore up a drawing I'd spent over a week working on. That was my art homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 332

You deserved it 3 766

By Anonymous - 14/05/2009 12:40 - Australia

Today, I am wearing a panda suit for the promotion of the restaurant I work at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 347

You deserved it 15 935

By Gandhi - 25/04/2016 15:32 - India

Today, while my eyes are closed in the shower, I asked my son to hand me the shampoo. He gave me his mother’s hair removal cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 73

By Becckzfizz - 20/06/2013 14:10 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I left hospital after a three-night stay. Whilst waiting for my taxi to arrive, my mother called me in hysterics wanting to know where I was, because the police had called her and told her I had gone missing. Turns out my doctor "forgot" to tell anyone that I was discharged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 599

You deserved it 3 293

Becckzfizz tells us more.

Becckzfizz 7

Monday 24 June 2013 16:46

Hello, I wrote this, Yes I'm in England. I'd text my mum to let her know that I was on my way home, she'd replied and all was well. Next thing I know she's ringing me again thinking that I've done a runner from the hospital. The doctor had discharged me and signed all of my forms, though the nurses on duty had not been notified of this and immediately called the police to report me as a missing person (even though I was waiting for my taxi in the hospital entrance), the police then contacted my emergency contact (my mum) and then she called me. I understand that it wasn't the Doctors fault, it was just a clerical error. All clear?

Jack of all trades…

By Anonymous - 15/01/2021 16:57 - India - Bangalore

Today, I'm a generalist with moderate knowledge of multiple domains, but since I'm not a specialist in any, I'm not getting a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 235

Sniffles

By Anonymous - 30/06/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife got drunk and adopted a kitten. She thought I’d be mad because of the money. Nope, I’m pretty sure I’m mad because I have the most severe type of cat allergy that could kill me. I can’t go in the house now until everything is sterilised, so I’m back at my dad's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 71

Asshat

By Nick - 23/08/2011 06:42 - United States

Today, I found my truck broken into. Whoever broke in ripped my dash apart, and the stupid idiot couldn't get the radio out. So now I have a trashed truck interior, and the moron has nothing to show for it. He did leave behind his Subway wrapper though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 588

You deserved it 2 326

On the rocks

By leogs23 - 26/01/2021 10:59

Today, my fiancée is convinced that I just want to marry her to get a green card, so she doesn’t want to marry me anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 747

Constant surveillance

By mister fixit? more like mister fuxit - 25/11/2024 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, I made the mistake of taking apart and fixing a malfunctioning toaster in front of my five year-old. Two hours later, he tried to take apart a lamp that was plugged in. He shocked himself, broke the lamp, and set the carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 275

Hurry up!

By Anonymous - 22/01/2021 02:02

Today, my wife told me not to rush her during packing for our upcoming move. She's lived in the house for 30 years and apparently needs to reminisce over every single item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 316

FIFA drama is insane

By Elissea - 04/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, at a World Cup watch party, my husband joked about how I’d probably eat all the snacks by halftime so everyone should eat up now. I told him that hurt and how he wasn’t the man I married anymore. He replied, “I should say the same thing about you. You didn’t do one thing to lose weight since the kids.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 251

Home sweet home

By jenjam - 05/07/2012 00:50

Today, I bought a home at a bargain. It will need 5 grand in repairs to fix plumbing and electric, but it's mine. When I pulled up the listing to show pictures to my friends, there was a new listing that was in the same neighborhood, and a larger, nicer house that is move in ready. Same price. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 169

You deserved it 5 783

By youshitme - 25/11/2009 14:45 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was at work, working on a new play. In the final dress rehearsal, I heard some of the crew laughing so I looked down at the very revealing costume to see that my left testicle was hanging out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 412

You deserved it 7 847

FOOTBALL player reveals TRUTH!

By fml9124 - 28/01/2021 20:01

Today, I told my wife Philip Rivers retired. Being born and bred in Baltimore, she hates anything Colts now. "Philip is a stupid name", she says. I pointed out my middle name is Philip. She laughed, then said, "Are you serious?" We've been married 33 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 137

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The Top

The Top

Today, I was spending the night at my fiancé's house. He knew my period was about to start, so he asked if he needed to put a tarp down on the bed. He was dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 350

You deserved it 1 722

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 981

You deserved it 4 066

Today, after having not used my laptop since January because I thought it was broken, I found out that the key lock has been on the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 901

You deserved it 52 004

Today, my idiot daughter used my wax warmer to try to give herself a bikini wax using old crayons. Not sure which YouTube idiot she learned it from, but the stench of melted crayon, burnt hair, and singed flesh isn’t a smell I’ll soon be forgetting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 683

You deserved it 249

Today, I had my 28-week ultrasound. Baby is doing well, but has clearly inherited his/her father's growth genetics and currently measures at the 96th percentile. I'm a tiny woman (pre-pregnancy 105lbs). I'm screwed for the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 153

Today, a man next door has been coughing constantly for past 3 months and I can hear him despite closing my windows. During the day there's construction noise and at night this asshole. I asked him many times to close his windows but he won't. Now I play coughing on a speaker at the same time he starts, just to piss him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 416