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By JZ. - 30/10/2009 13:34 - New Zealand

Today, I submitted my 5000 word assignment. When I got home, my mother asked if I'd checked it through one more time like she always warned me to do. I hadn't, therefore hadn't noticed the paragraph on page 11 that she'd written, telling me to pay attention to the small details. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 978

You deserved it 13 208

By StupidSecurityConsultant - 25/07/2019 18:00

Today, I was supposed to do a month's work presentation at the company I work for. They skipped over my presentation, because they needed time for the "weight loss" competition presentation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 673

You deserved it 125

Overreaction

By Harley Osborne - 08/06/2022 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I'm recovering from an emergency room visit. I was vomiting, sweating, shaking, crying, and couldn't even speak properly. I was scared of that, and scared of hospitals after a routine surgery nearly killed me two years ago. Most of my family are convinced I was faking all of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 148

Bad luck

By login_eddy - 17/09/2010 18:37 - France

Today, while cleaning behind a ladder, I banged my head on one of the hand rails. I stood up, cursed, and moved to the other side. To my luck, I hit the other side of my head. I now have two lumps perfectly placed as horns on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 679

You deserved it 6 752

Oh great, thanks

By Anonymous - 27/07/2019 00:01

Today, due to recent changes in my local transit system, the bus that I take to work and back is a unidirectional loop instead of bi-directional. So my morning commute is the same, but the commute back is now an hour-and-half instead of 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 830

You deserved it 133

Shady

By NotFamily - 22/03/2021 19:59

Today, my boyfriend blocked me on Facebook. He said he's restricting it to only close family and cousins. He doesn't understand why I'm upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 112

Little cutie

By Anonymous - 06/09/2023 22:00 - Germany

Today, I recommend that you think twice about whether you want your little cutie playing with your apron strings while you cook. Especially if your little cutie is of the kind equipped with claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 571

What?

By clueless - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I confronted my boyfriend, suspecting that he has been cheating on me during the past few months. He vehemently denied it. Then told me it would never happen again. What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 575

You deserved it 3 264

By getslostinherownhouse - 14/04/2009 19:12 - Spain

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw my brother on the other side of the road. He lives overseas and always told me he would visit when I least expected it. When I saw him, I got so excited I jumped on his back, screaming his name. It wasn't my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 122

You deserved it 61 057

By NoFunForMe - 31/08/2015 16:27 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I saw my ex for the first time since we broke up. We were on a train next to each other for 6 hours, to a festival where our tents were pitched next to each other. We're here for 5 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 457

You deserved it 2 416

By Anonymous - 16/06/2014 15:24 - Germany

Today, I was trying on bikinis at a local store. When I put my pants back on, my foot got stuck, I tripped and fell through the curtain of the fitting room, topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 226

You deserved it 8 847

Party hard!

By _Emilyy - 12/07/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, I updated my Facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 555

You deserved it 10 551

By migsman - 15/09/2010 02:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 379

You deserved it 19 234

Is it that rare?

By Anonymous - 14/06/2022 00:00

Today, my girlfriend is mad at me. Apparently in her country, not burping after a meal is very rude, and means you think their cooking skill is bad. I get throat gurgles, not burps. I tried to explain, but she thinks I made up a fake condition. It’s not fake, just so rare it’s unheard of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 137

I'm right here

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 10:39 - Australia

Today, after applying for a promotion to a position which I've been working my ass off for two years to get, my managers thought it would be appropriate to discuss other applicants in front of me, even asking me to compare my resume with theirs to see the "caliber" of what I'm up against. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 764

You deserved it 2 203

By yper - 27/10/2009 16:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I bought a nice new dress for a work party, but when I went to it, a coworker hurried me into the bathroom saying, "Don't worry we can fix this." She thought someone had been sick on me. Thanks. That was just the pattern of the dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 847

You deserved it 7 392

Outsmarted

By Anonymous - 19/05/2022 06:00

Today, I'm an adjudicator for our school's debate team, collectively I have over 20 years experience both as a debater and as an adjudicator, and yet I have no idea how my daughter manages to convince me she deserves an extra dessert and to stay up an hour past bedtime every single day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 1 011

By deewe - 13/05/2012 06:06 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, I planned to go on a date with a man I met online. He came to my apartment to pick me up, and I told him I'd be right out as I grabbed my purse. When I got outside, he was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 352

You deserved it 4 389

Loan shark

By Anonymous - 21/05/2022 14:00

Today, my manager did that thing where he gave me a performance-based bonus last month, but deducted the bonus from this months pay. He didn’t even try to hide it, it said in plain English "Amount deducted for previous performance bonus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 215

You deserved it 87

By Anonymous - 09/06/2014 21:20 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I went to work in my best outfit for the big corporate party we were having later in the day. When I arrived, my boss said, "You missed one hell of a party yesterday!" Shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 749

You deserved it 10 906

By LesbianHonest - 22/04/2013 19:52 - Canada

Today, my grandpa moved into the apartment next door. The walls are wafer-thin. Goodbye sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 111

You deserved it 6 830

LesbianHonest tells us more.

LesbianHonest 6

Wednesday 24 April 2013 18:16

I'm not, but my girlfriend is. Her silence in bed makes me sad now. :( PS: Yes, this is my FML. I didn't have an account when I posted it, though.

Suspicious minds

By Hugh - 03/04/2021 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to a hospital social worker that my young son is not abused, he is just rowdy and that he knocked himself unconscious and shattered 4 teeth in a bizarre stunt involving a tree, my ironing board, a mop bucket and lots of duct tape. I'm not sure the hospital believes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 169

Bashing the Bible

By Anonymous - 15/06/2022 16:00

Today, my son is going to jail for robbing our church. This happened a year after my daughter was arrested for breaking in to the same church so she could have sex as a big "Fuck You" to God. I can’t show my face there anymore, and it’s the only church within 50 miles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 1 566

By Ella - 05/07/2011 11:48 - Australia

Today, I tried to talk to my boyfriend about our communication problems. He fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 276

You deserved it 7 602

Pete Townshend has a lot to answer for

By FML4evs - 10/04/2009 02:43 - United States

Today, my little brother watched an old video of The Who, who are know for smashing up their guitars and such. He decided it would be cool to try it with mine. That guitar was worth over $3000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 015

You deserved it 4 689

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 06:00

Today, like every day for the past year or so, I went for a walk. And like every time I go for a walk, I got severely winded halfway through. I have no medical issues like asthma, I’m just out of shape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 774

Parenting is sharing

By Stephanie - 12/03/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, as a new mother post-partum, I was overwhelmed as fuck. I hit rock bottom. I couldn’t get my infant to stop crying. I already fed him, changed his diaper, and held him. My husband smugly told me, “Why you crying for? You were moaning, “Nut inside me, Daddy” during sex. This is what you signed up for!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 358

By guess I'm stuck - 16/04/2013 07:23 - United States - Alamo

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 066

You deserved it 7 742

By 5p4571k - 25/05/2014 17:35 - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 976

You deserved it 7 585

By nico - 01/07/2011 04:15 - United States

Today, I broke my collarbone in a rugby tournament. I was forced to sit through five more hours of games because the coach wouldn't take me to the hospital until the tournament was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 846

You deserved it 3 633

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The Top

Today, I played charades with my girlfriend and her family. When it was her turn to act out a phrase, she simply walked to the center of the room and pointed to herself and then at me. It took less than 5 seconds for someone to correctly guess "Beauty and the Beast". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 477

You deserved it 2 371

Today, I woke up and went into my living room, only to be greeted by my aunt, sister, and mother watching a very graphic video showing women giving birth. They forced me to stay and watch it until the end. It was almost 90 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 919

You deserved it 5 326

Today, I went to see a therapist for the first time because I've been feeling depressed lately. I opened up and said everything that was on my mind. I really spilled my guts. After a good 30 minutes, her first question was, "Do you always talk this much?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 360

You deserved it 7 880

Today, I decided I would eat healthy in order to lose weight. Feeling powerful, I threw away all of the icecream in my freezer. An hour later, I picked the icecream carton out of the garbage and ate the entire half-melted carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 444

You deserved it 119 216

Today, my dishes smelled so perfume-y after going through the dishwasher and a clean glass of water tasted soapy. I checked the pods my husband bought and loaded into the dishwasher to make sure we never got that brand again. They were laundry detergent pods. I was essentially a millennial eating a Tide Pod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 302

You deserved it 304

Today, I tried to flirt with the cute cashier at my usual drive-thru. Instead of saying, "Thank you," I panicked and said, "I love you." Now I have to find a new favorite burger place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 418