The Top

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By Butter_Cup - 28/12/2009 21:39 - United States

Today, my mom sold the car I've been working on for the last few years for 100 dollars. To buy gas for her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 840

You deserved it 2 809

CPTSD

By trauma is hilarious - 01/11/2020 01:59 - United States

Today, I was telling my new boyfriend some of my funny family stories. He gave me the most concerned look and asked honestly, “Have you ever thought about going to therapy?” Apparently the stories I told him not only weren’t funny, but pretty damn scary to him. Now he thinks I’m crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 358

A step too far

By Anonymous - 10/12/2010 02:23 - United States

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 036

You deserved it 4 402

By Cheap - 27/12/2009 08:34 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend wrote 50 dollars on my gift card just to look generous, it's really only worth five. I found this out after I tried to buy an arm full of clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 178

You deserved it 3 143

Thanks everyone

By HappyBirthdayToMe - 10/04/2023 12:00 - Ireland - Waterford

Today, I'd organized a small dinner with immediate family for my birthday. I’ve since received texts from every one of them, cancelling due to varying reasons. My parents excuse is the funniest - they went out last night for a coworker’s party, and don’t want to go out again tonight. For me. Their child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 138

By gudmarjoh - 08/12/2010 23:09 - Iceland

Today, after studying all night for an exam, I ran out to catch the bus. On my way to the bus, my hair got caught in a branch for some minutes. Thinking I'd missed the bus but thankfully didn't, I went on. A few minutes later I remembered that my exam had been postponed for 3 hours today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 183

You deserved it 10 233

By WTF, America? - 03/08/2013 21:57 - Sweden

Today, I was convinced by my friends to watch an episode of the American TV show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". They said it was bad, but I didn't anticipate having a full-blown panic attack ten minutes into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 256

You deserved it 9 625

Good job!

By Anonymous - 09/06/2009 07:24 - South Africa

Today, I was painting the garage door. After 3 hours, I finally finished the job. As I was walking back inside, accidentally pressed the button that opens and closes the garage door. Not only did the paint job get messed up as it went up, the paint also dripped onto my parents' brand new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 622

You deserved it 24 669

Priorities

By Anonymous - 06/02/2022 17:59

Today, despite a car accident, lockdowns, and the stress of dealing with an elderly parent, I have been so happy planning a vacay with my amazing boyfriend. I woke up to being dumped because he feels he needs to prioritize his time between his kid and work. Immediately after, he popped up as active online in a game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 198

Smooth

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I was out for a jog when I saw my ex-boyfriend walking towards me. I tried to duck behind a tree to avoid him, but I slipped on a plastic bag and fell into a lovely patch of mud. He saw the whole thing and walked away smirking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 565

Too late

By Anonymous - 08/06/2009 13:25 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house. It was dark and downpouring so I couldn't see as I was backing out of his driveway. I made it out, but then my phone went off, scaring me, and I accidentally hit the gas pedal, hitting his neighbor's parked car. Turns out he called to warn me to watch out for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 287

You deserved it 7 548

Lick that corporate boot!

By leteeatinpeace - 19/04/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, one of my super obnoxious coworkers tried to snitch on me and record me for “being lazy” on the clock. I was sitting in my car, while eating trail mix ON MY BREAK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 118

No ethical consumption under capitalism

By Anonymous - 20/02/2022 18:00

Today, I got fired. A woman, who'd been ignoring me at the workplace, told me I wasn't friendly enough. She turned out to be the manager. Apparently, she likes to test the new hires by being extremely cold and unwelcome. She never even introduced herself. Also, it only pays 70% of the minimum wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 153

Oh no…

By Anonymous - 15/09/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I woke up at 1 a.m., after having a nightmare that I was pregnant. I took pregnancy test, and… baby boy or girl in May 2025? FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 293

By idontbleedfromthere - 22/08/2012 23:10 - United States - Indio

Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations, my prankster of a room-mate has somehow made sure I've yet again woken up with a tampon in my mouth. It's been three times in the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 999

You deserved it 2 188

By Anonymous - 28/09/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 858

You deserved it 2 788

By bee - 23/12/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, I got my report card from school. I pulled my grade up in Algebra from a D to an A. My parents told me that they never expected me to accomplish this, and good job but they've already enrolled me in boarding school. So much for all that extra credit and staying late after school to study. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 623

You deserved it 3 517

By thedogkisser - 06/06/2009 19:44 - United States

Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 094

You deserved it 84 229

This guy is a GENIUS

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 20:02

Today, in a bid to avoid going to the dentist, my husband decided to have one of his drunk buddies pull his tooth out with pliers. Now he has to have surgery to remove the shards of tooth left rotting in his mouth. It’s going to cost thousands. Thanks babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 253

You deserved it 231

By Anonymous - 21/08/2012 16:45 - United States - Lititz

Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call about one of my applications. I wasn't able to answer it, but he left a voicemail. I've listened to it over and over, and I can't understand the contact information. He called from a restricted number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 717

You deserved it 1 950

Hole in one

By Anonymous - 24/04/2023 03:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I got a tooth pulled out. I now have a hole connecting my mouth to my nose. Drinking and eating is whole new experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 104

By Jayman223 - 10/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Reno

Today I adopted a dog. He ran away the same day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 759

You deserved it 1 168

Breaking news

By Anonymous - 04/06/2009 11:11 - United States

Today, I was reading through a local wedding mag's advice page. A mother-in-law to be was writing about how to handle wanting her son to break off his engagement. I thought, "Wow. That must suck. I'm glad I like my mother-in-law to be." And then I saw her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 868

You deserved it 3 491

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 03/02/2022 18:01

Today, I went to make coffee, but having just woken up, I forgot the paper filter. You can guess what was in my coffee… FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 303

Wizardry

By expectopatronum bitch! - 25/04/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, my brother-in-law brought his new girlfriend over to meet the family. Things went south real quick after she went on a tirade about what terrible parents my wife and I are for letting our kids keep all their Harry Potter memorabilia. Now he’s mad I threw her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 158

Power move

By Anonymous - 28/04/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I took my kids and left my wife because she's been drinking, which I absolutely forbid. Now she's going on social media saying I kidnapped them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 613

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 14:10 - United States - Jefferson

Today, I found out what it's like to drive seven hours home with a woman who just brutally rejected your marriage proposal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 339

You deserved it 3 922

By Madagascar - 19/12/2009 10:18 - Australia

Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 960

You deserved it 4 911

By Pixie - 15/02/2017 12:00 - United States - Mckenna

Today, I was asked if the reason I didn't like the new male massage therapist was because I was no longer the most muscular person in the spa. I'm a 5'4 woman and I don't work out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 907

You deserved it 545

By Anonymous - 14/08/2012 18:12 - United States - San Jacinto

Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 951

You deserved it 1 933

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The Top

Today, my mom thought I was flying high on weed and nearly grounded me for it. I wasn't high, I was just actually in a good mood for the first time in a few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 163

You deserved it 2 327

Today, I spent 6 hours unloading boxes into my new apartment. After unloading the entire truck and making trips up and down two flights of stairs, I heard a knock on the door. Apparently the landlord gave me the key to the WRONG apartment. Mine is downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 834

You deserved it 2 976

Today, I attended a speed dating evening. After 7 minutes, the girl told me she wasn't interested. I asked her at what point of the conversation she had made up her mind, she answered: "When you said 'Hello'. Goodbye". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 308

You deserved it 2 467

Today, I told my mom that I walked in on my sister and her boyfriend having sex. My mom flew into a rage and slapped me several times, calling me a liar and made me apologize to my sister for saying something “so disgusting” about her. I wasn’t lying and she just smirked the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 529

You deserved it 863

Today, I had to abandon my shopping after a Covidiot directly sneezed all over it. He took his mask off because he was about to sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 171

You deserved it 254

Today, I walked into a store, grabbed a shopping cart, and started browsing. After 15 seconds, I realized I was in the wrong store. The cashier watched as I awkwardly returned my cart and walked out like I totally meant to do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 363