The Top

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Baby Jane

By Anonymous - 02/04/2026 12:00

Today, the boss accidentally merged her personal calendar with the office calendar, so along with a 10 a.m. waxing appointment and on the 19th it's "Mom's birthday", I got to see "Friday 3rd April fire Jane." I’m Jane. (Not my real name obviously, but you know what I mean). FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 74

What in the world…?

By May - 17/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I noticed I was overcharged at a fast food place, so I asked the cashier to correct it. He got an attitude, so I asked for the manager. The next thing I know, some dude shoved me, yelling, "Shut the fuck up Karen." I fell and hit my head. People in line laughed and cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 117

Quite the list

By Anonymous - 18/04/2026 20:00 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, I have scoliosis, neck compensation, TMJ osteoarthritis, a small brain lesion, unilateral hearing loss in left ear, malocclusion dentally/skeletally, pelvic issues, knee issues, gait/feet/leg issues, asymmetric looks and aesthetic issues, and struggling with hobbies/entertainment because of hearing issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 75

i'm late

By Fluster time - 22/04/2026 09:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I work remotely and had an online meeting with clients in different time zones. I double-checked the time… or so I thought. I joined 30 minutes late, rushed in apologizing, only to realise I had actually logged into the wrong meeting entirely and interrupted another team’s presentation. My actual meeting had already ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 472

Big Tony

By lordoftheweird - 06/05/2026 15:00 - Canada - Cranbrook

Today, my grandmother is upset I won't lie to the police for her and is now claiming that I'm involved in the Mafia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 61

Dang!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my husband allowed his 16-year-old daughter to get married. Every single objection and concern I had, they ignored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 83

Congratulations, you played yourself

By Danny - 22/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I realized the only person who’s ever loved me was an old friend. She was an amazing girl, she was there for me at my highs and lows, but I didn’t find her attractive, so I turned her down. She has since then moved on and gotten married, while I’m still getting played left and right by women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 623

What could've been…

By Sorry for trying i guess - 14/06/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I met my ex, who I still have feelings for, at a festival. It was my first time going after years of putting it off, and we had an amazing time. I thought we would have make up sex, until she looked at me, angrier than I'd ever seen her, and said, "Why couldn't you be this much fun when we were together?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 372

What did you ACTUALLY do?

By Anonymous - 23/06/2026 15:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I got dumped, so I was sad. I was so unpopular in my friend group that everyone but two people "sided with my ex" in their words; the other two "didn't side." I'd told my ex that I hated her, so I asked my friend to tell her I'm sorry, my ex-friend then replied with death threats. Like WHAT? FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 395

Not worth a divorce, but still…

By NotMyFault - 25/06/2026 09:00 - Germany

Today, my husband scraped his shin while trying to pull down our window blinds. He screamed and shouted at me, because it was "all my fault." How? I opened the blinds the day before, and rolled them up "too high." I'm staying married despite all this toxicity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 172

New tech

By Anne - 28/06/2026 22:00 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I finally convinced my grandpa to try a smartphone. After an hour of teaching him how to text, he announced he'd figured it out on his own. The first message he ever sent was meant for me. It went to his pharmacist instead and simply read, "Love you. Thanks for everything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 67

You OK, mate?

By Anonymous - 02/07/2026 09:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I went to my girlfriend's mom's horse barn. Then I stepped in horse poop. Also I am full of dust. Dusty boi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 134

Distraction free

By Anonymous - 16/07/2026 15:00 - France - Paris

Today, I bought noise-canceling headphones to block out distractions while working from home. They worked so well that I missed the doorbell, three phone calls, and a fire drill in my building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 140

Classic

By Anonymous - 18/07/2026 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was proud of myself for remembering my wallet, keys and phone before leaving for the airport. I got all the way to security before realizing I’d left my passport on the kitchen table, right next to the travel mug I also forgot to bring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 370

Out of time

By STRESSED OUT - 01/08/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, I set ten alarms for an important appointment and still woke up convinced I’d missed it. I spent the morning panicking for no reason and showed up looking exactly how I felt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 220

Make it stop

By For you and for me! - 03/08/2026 09:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, someone hacked the bus's Bluetooth speakers and played "Heal the World" by Michael Jackson on repeat. It was a four-hour, point-to-point nonstop bus ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 59

Room service

By Anonymous - 05/08/2026 03:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I spent at least 10 minutes trying to get into my hotel room because my key card wouldn't work. I finally went to the front desk, where they came along with me, then politely informed me I was trying to open the room next door to mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 375

Not so glam now

By Fuck off - 10/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I shelled out the big bucks to stay at a luxurious glamping site in the mountains for some much-needed R&R. It was great… or would have been, were it not for the party animals in the other unit. Despite being fifty yards away, I could make out every word of the shit rap they blasted for 12 hours straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 84

Parasocially busted

By Anonymous - 14/09/2025 20:00

Today, I spotted a huge Twitch streamer at Whole Foods. I ran up to say hi but caught her making out with another streamer she just did a music video with… even though she’s supposedly dating someone else. She froze, I panicked, and bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 300

Not helping

By Missy - 23/09/2025 20:00

Today, after feeling down due to another negative pregnancy test after my hubby and I have been trying for over a year, my mom insisted I come to a BBQ to "cheer me up." I get there and what do I see? Blue and pink balloons. My sister was announcing her pregnancy. My mom got pissed at me when I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 202

Squeak day

By Nathalie - 30/09/2025 22:00

Today, I wore new shoes to work. They squeaked with every single step on the office building's lino floor. People thought it was funny at first, but then I had to walk across the entire office to the printer, going "squeak, squeak, squeak" for 45 seconds straight. By the time I got back, my nickname was now apparently “Squeaker of the house.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 102

Breaking news

By Anonymous - 08/10/2025 00:00

Today, after nerve pain and trouble sitting down, I found a lump in my ass crack. My doctor thought might be a tumour or cancer, so I was sent for scans. Apparently my whole life I’ve had an ingrown vestigial tail at the bottom of my spine hidden under the skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 71

Get on with it

By Fred - 13/10/2025 09:00

Today, I got home at 6:30 after a 12-hour shift. I sat down on the sofa, and my wife immediately stomped in and said, "Why are you sitting doing nothing? Get up, there's a million things to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 79

Stinky

By Anonymous - 16/10/2025 22:00

Today, I spent an hour blaming my dog for a weird smell in the house. I even gave him a lecture about “being a good boy.” I later realized the smell was coming from the ham and cheese omelet I'd left in the microwave two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 659

Wakey wakey

By Anonymous - 24/10/2025 20:00

Today, I was woken up by a bird screaming its guts out. My cat had somehow managed to catch a bird and bring it inside. My 9 a.m. morning began with trying to catch a bird in my own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 108

Overrun

By Anonymous - 30/10/2025 03:00

Today, after I warned my wife that keeping chickens wouldn’t be easy but no, she insisted on having 20 roaming around and at some point a wild cockerel got in, plus she clearly wasn’t finding all the eggs so a bunch of hidden eggs have started hatching. What once was 20 is now 67 and rising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 105

I'm so tired

By Anonymous - 07/11/2025 22:00

Today, my husband yelled at me for asking him to get the kids ready for school after he got off work. He works overnights, so I figured that since he's already awake, he can help out, since I'm not a morning person at all. Apparently he needs sleep "IMMEDIATELY" once he gets off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 733

Mental health day

By He needs help! - 18/11/2025 15:00

Today, my husband is furious with me for going behind his back and getting our son a psychological evaluation. His primary care physician, a psychologist, and a pediatric psychiatrist all agree that our son is AuDHD. My husband says no because he “doesn’t believe in that crap.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 129

Casual

By Carrie - 08/12/2025 03:00

Today, I attempted a casual jog in my neighborhood. Halfway through, my shoelace snapped, and I tripped, skidding across someone’s lawn. The homeowner rushed out, not to help, but to ask why I was “attacking” their grass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 87

Cute

By Zai Sensei - 13/12/2025 12:00

Today, an anonymous complaint got me not only in the brink of getting fired, but also possible incarceration. I'm a preschool teacher. What happened? As I saw my students off, one of my students suddenly gave me a kiss goodbye (on the lips) as she happily ran off. Someone who saw that probably wasn't pleased. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 79

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The Top

Today, during a meal out with my team and bosses, I wasn't drinking. The waiter complained, "If you're not ordering alcohol, how am I supposed to take advantage of you later?" I'm not sure what's worse, the rapey pre-dinner joke or the awkward silence as my colleagues looked on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 942

You deserved it 2 517

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table, and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 585

You deserved it 4 829

Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 436

You deserved it 13 023

Today, I finally got around to doing laundry. The washing machines in my condominium building take about an hour to do a load. When I returned to throw my clothes in a dryer, I realized they were never washed in the first place. I used my card and detergent to pay for another person's laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 013

You deserved it 32 138

Today, I got an inheritance, so I was planning to put most of it in savings, and maybe buy two new cars. Alas, my wife instead decided we really needed to pay off the secret credit card debt she’s been hiding from me. Not only is the inheritance gone but so is an additional 3 grand from our savings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 155

Today, my worst fear was realised while walking past an under 15’s football game. The ball landed right by me and I attempted to kick it back, except it went flying diagonally & ended up even further away. I’m a 36 year-old man and got roasted by a bunch of 15 year-old boys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 321