The Top

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Time waster

By Anonymous - 22/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my wife reported our neighbor for leaving her son home alone while she works during the day. Her son is 13 years-old. I am so completely embarrassed and my wife keeps justifying what she did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 82

Like father, like son

By I'm dad - 26/05/2026 12:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, after making fun of my dad for years because he falls asleep in front of the TV every night by 9:30, I sat down “just for a minute” after work and woke up at 2 a.m. fully dressed, lights on, with Netflix asking if I was still watching, and a half-eaten wrap stuck to my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 442

Staircase wit at the checkout

By Anonymous - 21/10/2024 16:00 - United States - Galveston

Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 485

Neighbors from hell

By Anonymous - 29/05/2023 12:00 - United States - Collegeville

Today, and intermittently ever since I moved in, the guy who lives in the apartment next to me keeps having loud sex with his hookup of the week, while I’m trying to watch TV, eat dinner, etc. I can’t even complain about him to my landlord. Why? The noisy guy is my landlord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 182

Awww, cute!

By Anonymous - 24/10/2024 22:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask out the girl I like. After nervously fumbling through my words, I asked, "Want to grab a cup of water sometime?" She looked at me confused, then asked if I meant coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 141

Do not attempt this at home

By Poopy - 02/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 493

In a bad place

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 11:01

Today, while scrolling through my contact list, I realized I have more therapists and support workers than I do friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 167

Good boy

By Anonymous - 10/06/2026 09:00 - Ireland - Cork

Today, same as every morning recently, a neighbour's tabby cat showed up on my balcony. We've developed a routine where I say hello and he sits nearby for a few minutes. During the day, I learned it belongs to the woman I've been awkwardly avoiding in the elevator for two years. The cat likes me more than its owner does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 101

Thanks buddy

By ChrisP - 04/11/2024 20:00 - United States - Portland

Today, my hammerhead of a dog decided to "help" me clean by grabbing the vacuum cord and dragging it across the house, knocking over everything in its path. The house is somehow messier than before I started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 103

DILF

By Anonymous - 12/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, an internet repair tech thought my dad was my husband, and seemed skeptical when I corrected him. People usually think I'm way younger than my actual age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 85

Make it make sense

By Anonymous - 12/11/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I gave my best speech at a work function, only to have the entire team ask, “What was the point of that?” Now, I’m questioning all my life choices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 143

It's like high school all over again

By Anonymous - 16/11/2024 03:00 - United States - Denver

Today, at work, I'm supervising one person. Recently there's been tension between her and a couple of other coworkers, one of which was her friend. I spent the day running around and trying to smooth things over, just to find out what started this was her walking in on her former friend talking about her behind her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 106

Passionate secret

By Anonymous - 24/06/2026 03:00 - Bangladesh

Today, my boyfriend came to my room and we were kissing. He was being exceptionally aggressive and intense when my brother knocked outside my door, demanding I open it. He had to jump out while I was fumbling to fix my top and cover my marks with my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 356

Not much going on

By Anonymous - 18/11/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I told my mom a funny story, and she responded with, “Yeah, I saw it on your Instagram last week.” My life is now reduced to reruns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 423

Clifford lives

By Anonymous - 25/06/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was transferring video from my camera to my laptop so I could start editing my film project. My wife’s badly behaved dog decided to barrel through my office, knocking everything over. Screen shattered, camera broken, video files corrupted due to the cable coming out mid-transfer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 105

Butterfingers

By heeeeeyitsbrittney - 09/05/2019 08:00

Today, I cut myself with a butter knife while trying to get a piece of brownie from a pan. I don't think I was meant to survive on Earth for very long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 596

You deserved it 364

How the turntables…

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 04:00

Today, after two years of working from home, and being bugged by a relative every five minutes as I tried to work, I turned the tables by asking her something. I promptly got chewed out for interrupting something she was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 127

Influencers out here causing mayhem

By Anonymous - 04/07/2026 09:00 - United States - Chino

Today, at the gym, I politely asked these wannabe influencers to stop recording with me squarely in frame. They laughed and continued. I got angry and nastily told them off, before calling management. Somehow I’m the bad guy here and earned the nickname “Kareniqua.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 90

Twink

By Noé - 10/05/2022 00:01

Today, I decided to start working out. I made a bit of Internet research, and I found out about my body type. The first and only example that popped up is Natalie Portman. Oh, by the way, I’m a 16 year-old dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 173

Hero of the hour

By Anonymous - 06/07/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I stopped a car with its handbrake off from rolling into a group of kids by holding it until it stopped with me half under the tyre, dislocating my knee. Everyone said I was a hero except my dad, who threw an empty can at me because now I can’t push his wheelchair to the working men’s club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 51

Compassionate management

By Dean Roberts - 01/02/2021 20:01 - United States - Cedar Falls

Today, my manager said it was my choice to have surgery on my arm and that I shouldn't complain, everyone goes through pain. She's right, but I was born with a birth defect in my wrist. The surgery was going to happen sooner or later, I didn't want to be born this way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 87

That stinks

By help me - 19/03/2022 06:00 - Australia - Surry Hills

Today, I’m stuck in a small office with a colleague with one of the worst cases of BO I’ve ever come across. He has already been spoken to about it, and I’m developing a nauseous headache from the stench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 77

Not the time or the place

By Lauren - 13/07/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I built up the courage to approach my gym crush. I walked over, smiled, and said, "You smell amazing." I meant to say he looked amazing. He faintly smiled, then slowly went back to the rowing machines without saying a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 345

Dragging of feet

By Lenore - 18/07/2026 03:00 - Belgium

Today, I googled which documents we needed to provide to sell our marital home. It took me three minutes and I have to complete list. My ex-husband, who's been complaining we have to sell as soon as possible, is ignoring the list, because he bought a book on houses, and wants to read it first. He hasn't read a book in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 57

Dating sucks

By Anonymous - 21/07/2026 00:00 - Switzerland - Klingnau

Today, I went on a date with a girl I recently met, thinking she was really into me. Turns out she isn’t. How did I figure it out? We went clubbing and she hit on my roommate, made out with her best guy friend, and then left with a completely different guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 73

Trust

By Anonymous - 14/12/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my husband read my journal behind my back when he got mad over something I'd written in it. This is the same journal that my therapist told me to keep, to help me get past my trust issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 98

Looney tunes

By It does grow on trees - 21/12/2024 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I spotted a $20 bill on the ground. As I bent down to pick it up, the wind blew it away. I ended up running after it like a cartoon character, only to watch it get stuck up a tree. I did consider climbing up said tree, but with my luck I would've fallen off and had to pay 100 times more in hospital bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 123

Clack clack

By Anonymous - 29/07/2026 20:00 - Australia

Today, I heard my washing machine making a strange noise. I nervously waited for the cycle to end so I could open it and investigate. The noise was my car keys. I'd somehow washed them, my wallet and $20 without noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 312

Dogging at home

By Anonymous - 24/12/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and I got freaky in the living room. Apparently we didn’t close the curtain all the way because three of our neighbours called the police. There was barely a 4 inch gap in the curtain. They must've had their noses right up to the window, or using binoculars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 150

XXX rated

By Anonymous - 03/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Winchester

Today, I finally acted on a fantasy and did a bondage shoot video. The first comment on the clip was, "Hard watch. Fat as hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 158

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The Top

Today, I witnessed my sister use some ice cubes on her blistered toes, then quietly return them to the tray in the fridge. I've been putting ice from there into my drinks for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 897

You deserved it 999

Today, I received a gift certificate from my grandmother for a local bookshop. Considering how broke I am, this would be a fantastic gift. If the bookshop in question wasn't a right-wing evangelical Christian Bookshop, and I wasn't Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 148

You deserved it 3 706

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. This poses a problem, because her mother is my boss, and we work in an office on the first story of their apartment. Tomorrow I have to decide whether to quit my awesome and only job, or go to work for my now ex's mother in their house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 130

You deserved it 5 556

Today, while helping my aunts with a garage sale, I sold a relish tray that looked like my mothers. When I put stuff away, I found items of my mothers tagged. Turns out, instead of holding onto my dead mother's items for me until I can store them, they've been selling them at discount prices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 272

You deserved it 3 059

Today, I was driving on the freeway in the back seat of my friends car. I looked over to the left and was greeted by a van full of adolescent boys waving and making the "call me" hand gesture. I then happened to looked down and realized that my right boob was completely out of my top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 205

You deserved it 54 251

Today, I went for a quick piss at a restaurant. As I walked out the door, a little kid in the bathroom yelled, "HEY MISTER, YOU FORGOT TO WASH YOUR HANDS!" Everyone in the dining room stared, including my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 1 051