The Top

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STOP TALKING

By Anonymous - 17/01/2023 22:00

Today, my in-laws are so much "know it all better than you" that my father-in-law started trying to convince me that he knows how much chilli I need in my soup better than I do. I had to raise my voice to almost screaming level at him to stop. I'm 33. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 162

Family days

By No more - 07/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I don't know why I bothered taking my family to the beach. All my wife wants to do is shop at the same crappy cheap chains she always goes to, and all my son wants to do is watch cartoons. Whenever I suggest anything different, they both throw tantrums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 119

Brain box recorder

By The more you know - 08/06/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, due to problems with my ears overproducing wax, I got my own water ear cleaner. I then learned that there's a reason doctors use warm water with it. As it turns out, if you don't use warm water, you get nauseous and begin heavily favoring one side of your body, appearing as though you're recovering from a stroke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 189

Messy bitches

By Please explain - 24/12/2025 09:00

Today, I don't understand how my wife and son are incapable of opening any kind of packaging without tearing it to shreds. If they open a box of cereal or a bag of chips, it looks like a dog got hold of it. How? FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 73

Namaste

By Anonymous - 10/06/2024 09:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I tried a new workout at my local gym. I thought I'd attempt some yoga poses I'd seen online. Mid-pose, I lost my balance and knocked over a row of weights, causing a loud crash and drawing everyone's attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 353

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 29/12/2025 03:00

Today, I confidently answered a question in a meeting, only to realize everyone was staring at me because I’d misunderstood it completely. My boss gently rephrased it while I nodded like that was my point all along. It absolutely wasn’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 327

Singing In The Shower

By FML Videos - 18/09/2018 18:30

Everybody needs some time alone to sing it out... Just hope no one is recording it!

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 73

Rock on!

By Anonymous - 16/06/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, ever supportive of my friends, I went to a concert and tried to really get into the music. I was jumping and dancing, only to realize I was at the wrong concert. My friend's band was playing next door. I spent half an hour dancing with strangers to music I didn't even really like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 574

Femboys are where it's at

By Sex isn't great anyway - 02/01/2026 15:00

Today, I found out that my husband hasn't wanted sex because he's been fucking the feminine gay guy he works with. I could divorce him, but I like not getting constantly bothered for sex, and I don't want to deal with the stress of divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 336

Worst roommate ever

By Anonymous - 29/01/2023 09:00 - Ireland

Today I knocked on one of my roommate's door and asked her to stop vacuuming since it's was late. She started to record me and went on a tirade about how none of the girls there respect her. She has previously tried to push two girls down the stairs. Her lease isn't up for 4 more months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 112

Gaslighting 101

By josie - 10/11/2021 08:00

Today, I realized that no one at work actually tells me when there’s a rule change, they just punish me and then try to gaslight me into believing it’s always been a rule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 101

Everybody hurts

By NoNovocaine - 20/11/2021 16:59 - Canada - Barrie

Today, while getting a dental filling, the fire alarm sounded. The plaza was evacuated and we had to stand outside in the cold for 2 hours. The anesthetic wore off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 64

Skiver

By Anonymous - 02/07/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, while my husband and I were cleaning out a closet, he went outside to throw out some trash. He was taking a long time to return and I went to make sure he was OK. He was in the living room watching TV instead of helping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 144

Classic mistake

By Katy - 14/02/2023 18:00

Today, after I finished giving my baby a bottle then burping her, I lifted her up and was bringing her in for kisses. As I was doing this, I felt this warm liquid hit my lips and slide into my mouth. I instantly pulled her back and she'd vomited. It took everything out of me not to vomit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 383

By Anonyme - 29/01/2016 22:38 - China - Shanghai

Today, I'm doing an architecture course in China. My boss asked me to create a lamp shaped like a shrimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 385

You deserved it 2 405

Quickie

By Anonymous - 17/02/2023 02:00

Today, it's been exactly one year since I’ve had sex, and even that was because my wife caught me masturbating and helped me out with a zero effort handjob that was over in 15 seconds, since I’d already done 90% of the work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 298

King of pain

By Anonymous - 24/01/2026 22:00

Today, I somehow strained a muscle around my ribs that make any movement or pressure almost unbearable. In other words, breathing is just about possible, farting is excruciating, and I’m praying I get diarrhea, otherwise there's no possible way I’m going to be able to shit without passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 59

Not my problem

By I cleaned it...slowly... - 27/01/2026 03:00

Today, someone (we don't know who) put a very massive and noticeable graffiti "mural" in the bathroom at my workplace. Guess who's job it was to clean it? If you said me, you'd be wrong. However, the guy whose job it was got distracted and didn't do it, so it became my job after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 85

By IncompatibleMetier - 09/10/2014 23:07 - France

Today, and for a long time, I've had a phobia of schools. I'm extremely stressed out about starting in a new school. Normal, right? Yes, except that I'm the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 512

You deserved it 10 984

Albatross around my neck

By josh9792 - 23/02/2023 18:00

Today, after moving in with a friend I've known for 9 years, I found out he's going to jail soon, and refuses to work or get a new job, making me unable to pay rent as he eats all my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 180

Ouch

By Anonymous - 31/01/2026 00:00

Today, I learned a valuable life lesson : Never attempt to swallow your pills with a swig of hot tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 358

Dick inspector

By Anonymous - 15/07/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I'm a significant grower not a shower, so when not erect to 7 inches my penis really does resemble a cocktail sausage. So far my girlfriend hadn’t seen it soft but today she whipped my boxers down while I was asleep. The phrase, "Oh my god! What happened to it?" is now forever etched in my brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 146

By crétin-crédule - 26/02/2013 05:02 - France - Isle

Today, I got talking to a pretty girl on the subway. Just as she was about to get off, I handed her my phone so that she could give me her number. She ran out with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 137

You deserved it 51 322

Fuzzy perception

By opinaise - 02/08/2012 13:00 - France - Toulouse

Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her usual moaning, "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at this egg, it makes me want to throw up… It's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 335

You deserved it 4 020

In the Navy

By Anonymous - 12/02/2026 12:00

Today, while I was sleeping on the sofa, my sister yelled right in my ear, "Attention on deck !" I jumped up so fast because I thought a superior officer had just walked in that I tripped over my own feet and smashed into our mom's glass fronted display case full of porcelain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 84

It's true! It happened!

By Next show, please! - 15/02/2026 15:00

Today, after over a year of waiting, the horror podcast I listen to and have been a fan of since pandemic times, who invites listeners to send in their true stories, finally responded to the story submission I sent, which was about a real life experience of mine. Their response was, "Yeah, cool story bro!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 135

By Doritos - 17/06/2010 08:06 - United States

Today, my room-mate came out of the bathroom, tossed a Playboy on the coffee table, threw away a used condom, dug his hand into my bag of Doritos, and washed his hands. In that order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 579

You deserved it 4 750

It's the most wonderful time of the year

By Demona666 - 06/12/2021 08:01

Today, I was in a car accident while driving to my brother's school to drop off some documents that he had to bring in, and forgot at home. While not even driving at 20 km/h, I started drifting on an icy spot. I hit a road sign and my car fell into a ditch. I probably have a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 121

Baby please come home

By Anonymous - 07/03/2023 00:00 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I accidentally locked myself out of my apartment while taking the trash out, without my phone. I had to wait outside for three hours until my flatmate came home from work to let me back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 253

By callerid - 03/08/2009 11:45 - United States

Today, I had misplaced my cell phone. I decided the best course of action would be to dial the number from my house phone and wait for it to ring to locate it. Somebody answered when I called. It wasn't the wrong number and I had a brief conversation with the man that stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 460

You deserved it 3 794

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The Top

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 704

You deserved it 7 583

Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 094

You deserved it 579

Today, I had a party at my house. I have a nice laptop that I hook up to the stereo, but someone almost spilt beer on it, so I took it downstairs. Later on in the night, I went down to look something up on it. Someone had taken a shit on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 965

You deserved it 425

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 246

You deserved it 413

Today, my boyfriend was breaking up with me because he felt his needs were not met. I asked what I could do to change his mind. He said, "Suck my dick, right now." It got me more turned on than I thought possible. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 575

Today, after going to the bathroom I went to bed. I have a very sturdy bookshelf that sticks halfway to the right of the door as I enter my bedroom. I had dumbly turned off the lights as I didn't want to bother with them before bed. I ended up kneeing the bookshelf, hard, now I'm wide awake and in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 273