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Everyone's a critic

By Ouch - 23/04/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, I'm extremely disabled and by all means terrible at drawing, but I tried anyway. Sure enough, my drawings looked like shit, but I still took pride in them. That is, until my brother looked at one of them and said, "Wow! That's awful!" Thanks for pointing that out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 142

That's what a druggie would claim

By Chris Bores - 20/11/2020 14:03 - United States - Prince Frederick

Today, my family staged an intervention and demanded I go to rehab. Why? My mom found 'drug papers' in my car. It was a receipt from a routine drug screening for my job. It was also over two years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 81

Alexa, play "I Miss You" by Blink 182

By Jaymail - 28/04/2023 06:00

Today, my girlfriend is presently out of town on business. I thought I was doing pretty good at not missing her, then I woke up refreshed and ready to tackle the world and found one of her hairs in the bed (which was WAY too long to be one of mine). And became severely depressed again because I miss her so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 573

His type

By anon - 23/09/2024 20:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His mom stared at me throughout dinner before finally blurting out, "I'm sorry, I can't get past the fact that you look just like his ex!" It turns out I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 82

Chain reaction

By Anonymous - 03/05/2023 06:00 - Australia

Today, I got drunk and spewed all over my lounge room floor. My dog ate it up, also got drunk, and also eventually spewed on the floor too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 1 171

Great timing

By Anonymous - 01/02/2022 08:01 - Australia

Today, I was absolutely busting to poop, so badly that I began to sweat. This was while I was sitting a medical exam, and had to write in depth about the mechanical and chemical process of digestion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 124

Demoted to just a friend, then

By Karina - 30/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Miami

Today, my best friend of 5 years, who I got feelings for, and who I spent endless time bending over backwards and going above and beyond for, once again rejected me. He got into a car accident and I stayed with him all night, only for some girl he never even told me about to come and introduce herself as his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 910

Flustered but respectful

By Anonymous - 04/10/2024 06:00 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I met Tim Duncan out in public. I went up to him to confirm that it was him and he confirmed it. Instead of asking for a picture or autograph, I said, "Well, it was nice meeting you!" and walked backed to my car as he drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 355

Cat Mojo

By Me. - 11/05/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, my cat has always been rather antisocial, but after his first trip to the vet since getting fixed, he's become talkative, clingy, and goofy. I'd enjoy it, if not for the fact that he's nearly hurt himself several times because he keeps doing stupid shit. He might need to go back to the vet at this rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 148

Fungus

By Yak - 12/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I walked in the bathroom and smelled a disgusting cheesy smell. I looked at the tub and my boyfriend was furiously scrubbing under his toenails with a nail brush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 80

Hostile takeover

By Anonymous - 14/05/2023 03:00 - Netherlands - Zwolle

Today, I was informed that the company I work for has been taken over by the previous company I worked for. I left that company with a burn-out, after years of 60-75 hour weeks, so I'll soon be working for them again in the exact same department I so happily left behind last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 123

Late term

By disappointed - 11/12/2020 02:02 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I had to pick my son up from jail. He was pulled over for having a busted tail light, gave the officer his licence, realized he gave the officer his fake ID and then the dumbass gave the cop his real one. Is it too late for a vasectomy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 764

You deserved it 498

Can't cope

By Anonymous - 18/05/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, all of my friends and family have ostracized me, and no one is willing to talk to me about anything, because I gave my baby up for adoption after my husband died. Nobody understands that I'm not cut out to be a single mom. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 269

Intense

By AloneAtPerkins - 21/12/2020 23:04

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and it started getting heated. I climbed on top of him and took his shirt off, but I guess my brain had a different idea. I ended up clinging to him for dear life because my brain decided that now was a good time for a seizure. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 728

You deserved it 143

Needy old man

By Anonymous - 24/05/2023 12:00 - Australia

Today, it's been 3 days since my 95 year-old grandfather got a Vital Call (a big red button to call someone in an emergency). As I live close by, I'm one of the main contacts. I've been called over 6 times, most recently at 1:30 a.m. because he couldn't pull his pants up. He needs to be in a nursing home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 109

Long winded way of saying "No chance, mate"

By Anonymous - 19/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Kings Park

Today, I went out for dinner with my crush and expressed my love for her. She responded by saying that we should know that this is the real thing, and to do so we needed to date other people and let time bring us together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 122

Bad omen

By KaRaBeAr24 - 17/03/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, I got hit and totaled my new car, on my way to get married, with my fiancé and kids in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 192

You deserved it 121

Out of control

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my boyfriend because he decided to run over my foot with his new fancy bike. I think my foot's broken. We can't afford the bike, much less the ER bill with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 73

Yoga to watch out

By Peelates - 12/03/2017 22:00

Today, I prepared to do my early morning yoga, lowered myself on to the mat then felt a wet patch on my stomach. Turns out my roommate's cat had taken a piss on my orange mat and I'd been too tired to notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 935

You deserved it 677

We need everyone on this!

By Lewis - 26/01/2019 19:30 - France - Paris

Apparently, there is an "I" in "I don't give a f..."

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 115

Where were you?

By Anonymous - 01/01/2021 02:02 - United States - Stamford

Today, I came home from the hospital after six days. Despite having a cat sitter, they managed to shit on the bathroom floor and pee on my bed in protest for being gone too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 134

Renovations

By Anonymous - 01/01/2021 19:59 - Germany - Neusalza-spremberg

Today, after buying an old house that lacks plumbing a few weeks ago, I’m still crapping in a bucket in the barn. My two favorite Christmas gifts are still 2 pieces of rubber to dampen the noise from my new sewage pump and a used ceramic toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 341

Close call

By Anonymous - 31/10/2024 12:00 - United States - Bremerton

Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 513

Red flag

By Anonymous - 12/01/2021 20:01

Today, I tried therapy to talk about my problems without feeling like i am harassing anyone. After messaging a therapist for over 2 hours, I felt way better and finally understood. It turned out I'm in such a bad mental state that I'm a danger to myself and others. Police were called by the therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 227

You deserved it 246

Where you been?

By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 02:02 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, my boyfriend noticed a bruise on my hip. Apparently, he would rather believe I'm cheating on him, rather that I'm terribly clumsy at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 110

Never gonna give you up

By I’m not like other guys! - 24/11/2024 15:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my crazy ex has scared off yet another great woman. Thanks to all the douchebags that use “crazy ex” as an excuse to for their own shit behavior, no one believes me that mine is legitimately crazy. I didn’t cheat or mistreat her, I left because of her control and jealousy issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 114

Damn kids!

By Anonymous - 01/02/2021 13:57

Today, I found out that my 9 year-old cousin logged into my main chess account and lost 1700 points on purpose down from 2300. Which took 8 years of grinding and several national championships. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 217

Time for a BBQ

By Anonymous - 17/05/2019 13:59

Today, my friend hit a bird with her car. She asked me to get it off for her, so I reluctantly complied. It came off. In pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 557

You deserved it 217

Zoom will end us all

By Anonymous - 25/01/2021 20:01

Today, I had a bad fight with my brother. He started screaming at me, then I hear, "Sam your mic is unmuted." The fight was about him telling my dad that I'm pansexual. I came out to my whole class and my dad. By accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 538

Mr Clean

By Anonymous - 08/07/2023 15:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend is mad at his landlady because she hasn’t followed through yet on the new front door she promised a month ago. He, on the other hand, has neither cleaned the toilet, nor washed any dishes since he moved in. Which was… a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 187

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The Top

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 539

You deserved it 3 879

Today, I called a friend of mine who was recently in an accident. She told me that the head trauma has caused her to lose all sense of smell and taste. To try and cheer her up, I suggested I take her out to lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 809

You deserved it 34 074

Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 404

You deserved it 8 274

Today, I'm so sick, I'm even sick in my dreams. Orientation for my new job starts tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 504

You deserved it 132

Today, I slept in the same room as my girlfriend for the first time. She is sweet, smart, and drop-dead gorgeous, so naturally I thought she was going to be the one. Until she farted in her sleep. 56 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 3 251

Today, after months of health problems and my boyfriend offering unsolicited advice that mostly boiled down to "eat meat, take vitamins", I finally followed his suggestions to prove that he was wrong. It's a week later and I feel better than I have in years. He's never going to let this go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 799