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You tried

By Anonymous - 21/01/2021 14:01 - Australia

Today, my colleague was wearing a beautiful dress. I decided that I had to go over and compliment her. As I walked over, my coffee cup flew out of my hand and onto said dress. She had to go home and change, and my boss had to cover for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 466

Scythe control

By Auntie Katrina - 07/07/2026 03:00 - Philippines

Today, I caught three burglars in our house. I screamed, trying to get my husband and adult son to wake up. The burglars fled, badly wounded after being fought off by my skinny nine year-old niece with two gardening sickles. My muscular husband and overweight son were both still in bed, pretending to be asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 95

Stinki Boi

By Mrs sensitive nose - 21/03/2022 04:00

Today, my nose finally unblocked after a week of having a cold. Now all I can smell is the disgusting stench of my husband's pits. We've argued three times already about his refusal to shower more than once a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 143

Thanks a lot

By Not a maid - 14/07/2023 06:00

Today, my boyfriend was serving dinner, and decided to circle the table with my son's plate while making UFO noises. My son grabbed at the plate and spilled it, making a huge mess. They both decided that I should clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 181

This is war!

By Help - 26/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, it's been a few weeks since I deterred a would-be mugger with judicious use of a stun gun. Now he and his criminal friends are stalking me and swearing revenge. I can't afford to move and the cops are useless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 67

Vandals!

By volvo_owner - 10/02/2021 02:01 - Germany - Harsefeld

Today, I wanted to go shopping in my new car that I bought just a month ago. When I stepped outside, I saw someone had smashed the driver side's window. They didn't even steal anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 75

Both ends

By not having fun - 03/05/2022 18:00

Today, I have bronchitis. A few days ago, my doc prescribed antibiotics, which are helping, but also cause a really nasty upset stomach. I tell ya, violent coughing fits and severe diarrhea do NOT go well together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 90

Cobblers

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 14:00

Today, my husband is so antisocial that when our cul-de-sac held a street party, he threw a half empty Pepsi out of our bedroom window to make us stop playing music. It hit our local vicar. When I demanded he apologise, he just shouted, "Cobblers to the lot of you", and shut the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 254

Time flies by

By Anonymous - 18/02/2021 16:59

Today, long after ten years ago when I answered the door to someone asking if my mummy and daddy were home, and I was 24 and it was my house, I just now got asked if my 30 year-old sister was my daughter. Time has not been kind to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 141

You tried

By abcdgaf - 10/04/2022 18:00

Today, I was told how cruel and selfish I am for rubbing my weight loss in my mom’s face. I’ve literally begged my mom to walk, jog, workout with me for months. She went exactly once. She complained the whole time, then called me a bitch for finishing my run while she sat in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 131

Nose to the grind

By Anonymous - 01/08/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, without realizing it, I just overstepped what is known in business as "The Competence Zone." Now any work that needs to get done properly (AKA all of it) is foisted off onto my overworked ass because I'm the only one who can do the work both competently and quickly. All I did was do the work I was given. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 156

Running man

By Anonymous - 05/01/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband ran in to get something, shouted that he “had to go, I’ll call you later, bye” then ran out. At no point did he notice the wrapped present, his favourite meal and beer, and me naked on the living room carpet waiting to celebrate his birthday. I still don’t know where he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 93

Toxic workplace (literally)

By Bob - 06/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, after I left my job at lunch yesterday and didn't return because I felt sick to my stomach after they had me melting plastic, even though I asked for a mask and they just gave me a small desktop fan, they just called and want me back. Me, being desperate for work, I had to say yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 147

Tight fit

By Jeliss - 15/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my husband says money is tight. Apparently, we can’t afford new shoes for our son who is going back to school next week and we barely have food in the pantry and fridge, yet he pays $19.99/month for an OnlyFans subscription. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 82

Try hard

By David - 10/01/2025 15:00 - Australia

Today, I confidently told my new coworker, "See you tomorrow!" It’s Friday. Now they think I’m either too eager to please management or I don’t know how days work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 351

Judgement day

By Anonymous - 28/05/2022 04:00

Today, I found texts between my wife and her boyfriend making fun of me. They would sext right before my wife would be with me so she could think of him. She brags about how she picks random fights with me, stalks me, withholds sex, and calls our son names as well. I cannot wait to present these screenshots during our divorce hearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 755

You deserved it 130

By Anonymous - 05/07/2019 05:58

Today, while we were in a hotel, I got so drunk I apparently couldn't find my room, and passed out in the corridor. I woke up to see hotel staff calling security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 2 062

A cute one for a change

By Anonymous - 25/01/2025 03:00 - Australia

Today, I planned a romantic picnic date. I packed all my boyfriend’s favorite foods, set up a cozy blanket, and even brought flowers. The second we sat down, it started raining. We ate soggy sandwiches in my car while laughing at our “perfect date.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 132

Help!

By This is gonna suck - 02/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, my workplace is having a karaoke night. Most of our regulars are horrible singers, so this doesn't bode well for me, a person with rather sensitive ears. I'd like to bring my headphones along, but they broke yesterday. Please send help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 324

Paws for thought

By Anonymous - 27/08/2023 06:00 - Germany

Today, I was trying to exercise while having to keep my cat inside. Turns out it’s impossible to do pull-ups when a cute kitty is sitting on top of the ledge you’re holding on to, thinking you’re playing peekaboo and trying to slap your silly face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 232

Know this of me…

By thefmlman2011 - 02/09/2023 00:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was going to ask out a girl I work with, only to find out that not only is she in a relationship, she’s also a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 253

USA! **** YEAH!

By dinkley7 - 20/03/2021 21:30

Today, at work, I had to tell someone to put out a cigarette. He yelled at me saying it’s a free country. I work at a gas station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 75

Better safe than baby

By Anonymous - 10/06/2022 12:00

Today, my boyfriend thinks it’s going so well, we have marriage potential, so before we get any more serious he wanted a promise that I will never want children, and if I think there’s ever a chance I might, tell him soon because we’ll have to split up before we waste each other’s time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 868

Mommie issues

By Anonymous - 18/06/2022 02:00 - Canada - Fredericton

Today, I found all my missing underwear that I have been looking for for months, and have been replacing. They were all hidden in a pile in my 14 year-old son's bedroom, covered in crusty stuff. When confronted, his response as to why was, "Hormones…?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 862

You deserved it 227

Take a break

By Jekyll - 06/08/2019 14:00 - United States - Norwell

Today, I decided that after three days, I had to cut short my hiatus from social media. I saw a correlation between that and my anxiety going through the roof, causing my work performance to suffer. I’m so addicted to social media that in my off time, I think I was having withdrawal symptoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 1 351

By Anonymous - 06/08/2019 20:00 - United States

Today, I was feeling sick and ended up throwing up as soon as I got home. My mother's first question was an accusatory, "What have you been drinking?" I was returning from the AA meeting I have been attending for over a month. I go because I'm afraid I'll become an alcoholic like her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 791

You deserved it 149

No one will notice

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend asked me to straighten her hair while she did her makeup, even though I’ve never straightened hair before. I burned a length of it off, because I had no idea what I was doing. It’s super obvious from the back, but she’s gone out already. I’m a dead man when she gets home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 512

It seems like it's only going to get worse

By Kareen N - 02/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I'm suffering with an acute and weird form of misophonia. I get irrationally triggered and angry whenever I hear someone say words and phrases like, "at a level that nobody's ever seen before", "radical left", "like you wouldn't believe", "nobody’s ever seen anything like it", and "drill baby drill." I need professional help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 465

GET UP

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I left the apartment door open so the construction workers sent by our landlord could work in the kitchen, while I slept in after working a late shift. They knocked on the bedroom door at 7 a.m., asking me to move the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 838

You deserved it 241

Sounds like a win, somehow

By George - 17/09/2023 14:00

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to shrimp, when I went out for a lunch with my long-term crush after I finally got the courage to ask her out. She's really into seafood. A little while into the afternoon I started to feel itchy. She ended up scratching my back all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 143

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The Top

Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 176

You deserved it 6 239

Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I'd seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time that my cats hadn't been going on it. It was a rat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 083

You deserved it 2 608

Today, I bought a $3000 HD camera. It never shipped to my house, so I was concerned. I then realized I had given the seller the address for a house in California. I live in Maine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 099

You deserved it 44 519

Today, I was skiing and crashed into a tree. It was the only tree on the slope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 358

You deserved it 549

Today, my mom bought me a puppy. I’m single, I work 14 hour days, my life is in no way suitable for pet ownership, but mom won’t take him back because she thinks I need to learn adult responsibility. I’m a senior technician with a team of 17 people, I couldn’t be more responsible if I tried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 107

Today, as we talked after we woke up at a sleepover at my house (16th birthday gift), my best friend sat up, grabbed her belly, and started grunting. I asked what's wrong and she said, "I have to poop" and she did, right there in her underwear. The turd she pushed out was so big, her panties overflowed. We shared a bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 83