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Yay my FML story got published! Thanks for all the great suggestions and witty comments (: this guy stopped me on the street about 2 months ago and he seemed pretty okay but I wasn't really looking to date/get into bed with someone. I broke up with my ex last year and some ugly things happened afterwards which left me incredibly insecure, alone and vulnerable. I guess that's why I'm letting people walk all over me? Anyways I gave the guy the benefit of the doubt twice already and there is no doubt now that he's not a nice person. I was absolutely okay with paying for my own meal. His "I-forgot-my-wallet" bit was a shock to me since I've never encountered someone who would be so rude. Also I always tip in restaurants as I usually get a fair treatment (and I rarely eat out since it's expensive and I prefer to cook my own food). In this case the waitress went into complete asshole mode once she got her tip and totally ignored me. And obviously I didn't put out (: I actually told the guy that I'm just looking for friends but he still felt me up without my consent. All in all: not a nice experience.

By ihatemyjob - 15/08/2016 19:12

Today, I worked from 8 to 7 without a break and I'm still not done with my assignment. Meanwhile, my coworker crafted a piece of paper looking like a watermelon slice and posted a picture of herself seemingly taking a bite out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 635

You deserved it 1 046

By Anonymous - 14/10/2017 20:00

Today, I offered to let my niece and brother stay at my apartment, as my brother was going through a rough divorce and had lost his job. After coming home from work, I found my niece had snapped all of my pencils and had ruined over ten years worth of artwork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 661

You deserved it 344

By lk07 - 28/10/2017 05:00 - United States - Midlothian

Today, after selling things on eBay all week to afford a nice weekend with my husband and kids, my car died. Now we have to spend the money on a battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 689

You deserved it 349

By mom - 26/04/2018 15:00

Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 484

You deserved it 631

Scary

By The V Sal - 13/02/2009 18:39 - United States

Today, I was helping supervise a 5 year-old's birthday party in an inflatable obstacle course. I was playing hide and seek with them. I saw the birthday boy and crept around the corner and yelled, "Found you!" He peed his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 134

You deserved it 34 335

By Ihatebuses - 14/06/2018 19:00

Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 909

You deserved it 339

By Anonymous - 04/07/2018 19:00

Today, after planning 4 months in advance and spending almost $600 to cover everyone's tickets to the event center, all of my siblings decided to bail on my 30th birthday celebration because driving 3 hours is too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 307

You deserved it 379

Epitaph

By Anonymous - 16/05/2020 14:00

Today, I asked my boyfriend to honestly tell me if I had become overweight. He replied that yes, I had, but that it was OK because I was his "Lumpy Space Princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 1 467

Fix up look sharp

By Nalya - 09/01/2009 03:38 - France

Today, my boss told me that we're having a big meeting tomorrow, with lots of important people. Before leaving the room he added, "Please, tomorrow, try to dress better." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 936

You deserved it 6 472

By Tempted to hide a fish under the floor - 22/09/2018 15:30 - United States - Fairbanks

Today, I marked 3 weeks since meeting my crazy new landlady. Apparently I can't use the dishwasher because "there's no soap", can't bring the trash cans into the garage to keep the bears from getting it, and have to sweep before the cleaning service comes because "it's not their job". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 802

You deserved it 233

By Bree - 23/09/2018 03:00

Today, it's my wedding anniversary. I decided to come home early to surprise my husband, but I was the one left surprised. I walked in on him in bed with a teenager. I'm six months pregnant with our second child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 270

You deserved it 331

Sounds reasonable

By Anonymous - 08/08/2020 23:01

Today, my husband refuses to have sex with me, ever since I told him I wanted to try for a baby. When I asked him why, he said it was because he likes lack of responsibility and money in the bank more than the thought of a screaming baby, no sleep and strong suicidal urges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 2 136

By Bella - 26/10/2018 03:00

Today, I finally managed to kiss the guy of my dreams. We pulled away and looked into each other's eyes, and he softly said, "You know I'm dating another girl right now, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 210

You deserved it 555

By LifeSucks - 17/11/2018 05:00

Today, I came home to an empty house. I found a note from my wife telling me she was bisexual and found love in a woman. I FaceTimed my sister to tell her about it, and who do I see with her? My wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 163

You deserved it 229

By shinymcface - 19/11/2018 14:00

Today, I went to the bathroom at work and there was a reed diffuser placed on the tank of the toilet. As I sat down, my hair knocked it off and the reed diffuser landed behind me, spilling the scented oil into my butt crack and vagina, burning me completely. I only had to work 6 more hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 946

You deserved it 305

By greenandswirly - 18/02/2017 22:00 - United States - Columbia City

Today, I injured my knee at a Zumba class, a class I joined to lose weight so my knees wouldn't hurt so much. Now I can't even go for a leisurely walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 719

You deserved it 811

By Anonyme - 31/07/2011 09:59 - Mexico

Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the only thing that came out of his mind was, “Seriously, even my boobs are bigger than yours.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 59

By croissant - 24/08/2015 03:42 - France

Today, for the first day in our bakery, our intern brought croissants and rolls from our biggest competitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 69

By StinkyFrogHunter - 10/05/2017 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, we ordered from a burger joint through Uber Eats. We waited over an hour for the food when it should have arrived in 25 minutes. Looking back at the app, we saw that the order was cancelled. The dude was hungry and decided to steal our food and take off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 742

You deserved it 490

By Anonymous - 06/12/2016 20:14

Today, my boss yelled at me for leaving on time. After months of management hounding us about our overtime, I get in trouble for doing what I was supposed to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 971

You deserved it 538

Clerks 3

By AkaiKitsune - 17/06/2017 14:00

Today, a customer passed out in the bathroom, so we didn't realize he was there until after closing. I don't know what he'd shot up, but whatever it was told him he should run around naked. It's been two hours and the cops still haven't shown up. I can't leave until he does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 886

You deserved it 288

By sierra.sl31 - 28/07/2019 22:00

Today, my boyfriend of over a year decided he wants us to wait to get married before having sex again, after we've had sex almost every night of being together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 024

You deserved it 282

By Anonymous - 24/08/2017 13:00 - United States - Carlisle

Today, I came home early from work and found my brother in my bed with a girl I've never met. Apparently he's been using my house to hook up with girls while I'm gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 781

You deserved it 391

Chancer

By annoyed - 24/09/2017 01:30

Today, I received an email from my insurance company about a claim that happened over a month ago when I hit someone from behind. I was very apologetic and stated it was my fault, and now they're trying to claim replacement vehicle costs. I was going under 10mph and their car only had a scratch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 752

You deserved it 514

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I'm so poor that I've been scrounging around my house all day trying to find quarters and dimes so that I can buy myself a cup of coffee tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 609

You deserved it 6 809

Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 612

You deserved it 3 210

Today, I got an e-mail from a company saying that I would not be a good fit for them. Strangely, it's quite similar to an e-mail they sent me last month. And the month before. They aren't generated e-mails, each one is different. They just e-mail me every month to remind me that I suck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 302

You deserved it 296

Today, it's been the fourth day in the row my pregnant girlfriend peed the bed. It's also the fourth day I have to clean it since she's too embarrassed to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 526

You deserved it 429

Today, a lady I know gave my 3 year-old daughter a little coin purse, saying, "Your mum can put some money in that for you." My daughter responded, "But mummy has no money." I would have laughed, had it not been spot on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 139

Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 822