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By ihatetheholidays - 23/12/2018 20:00

Today my boss informed us that there were no more single shifts we were all working doubles until further notice. Also there’s a way for us to “earn” a half day but we have to out sell everyone else in the office to get it. So being new I haven’t had time off in two weeks... FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 528

You deserved it 206

By FuckedByLife - 12/02/2017 20:00 - United Kingdom - Bridgend

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend of two years was cheating on me. How? His other girlfriend crashed her car into mine and had him pick her up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 976

You deserved it 575

By Lying - 24/07/2014 06:09 - China - Shenzhen

Today, travelling in China, I was told to write a wish on a ribbon attached to a stone, and then throw it into a tree. The higher the wish lands, the greater the chance that it’ll come true. My wish landed in a trashcan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 104

Masterclass

By SadOral - 03/07/2019 00:01

Today, my wife fell asleep. I was giving her head at the time. Her snoring gave it away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 613

You deserved it 904

Fresh!

By Leanna - 10/04/2017 12:00

Today, I cleaned my entire house. Ready for a fresh finishing touch in the bedroom, I grabbed the Febreze and lightly sprayed over my clean bedding, carpeting, and clothing. Then a pungent odor hit me. It seems someone forgot to label the bottle when they filled it with vinegar instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 160

You deserved it 709

By amaze - 25/06/2019 02:30

Today, I discovered just how picky my son is. In addition to understandably not eating vegetables, he also doesn’t eat chicken fingers, pizza, or ice cream, along with several other foods I assumed all kids love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 648

You deserved it 370

By Jetlagged - 03/06/2017 22:00

Today, I'm stuck at the airport overnight, because my phone didn't update its time zone after flying in, so I watched my train leave, thinking mine wasn't due for another hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 522

You deserved it 1 908

By are you kidding me - 22/07/2017 20:03

Today, I learned the venue owner and producer for the musical I'm in is under criminal investigation. What for? Three separate sexual assault incidents and putting cameras in our dressing rooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 655

You deserved it 333

By jaymaag25 - 20/10/2016 06:28 - United States - Saint Joseph

Today, it seems like everyone in my family knew about my boyfriend's new engagement, all except me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 220

You deserved it 971

Call the cops

By Becca - 29/08/2019 04:00 - United States - Portland

Today, my mother-in-law "borrowed" my dog without asking, to show him off to her friends. My dog is my service animal, and I'm not comfortable leaving the house without him. I have to be at work in an hour, and she's not picking up her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 299

You deserved it 449

By Anonymous - 02/09/2019 02:00

Today, I took my dog for a basic spay and dental cleaning procedure. When I picked her up from the vet, I was reading through the surgery papers before they sent me away. They'd pulled 29 abscessed teeth and didn’t feel the need to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 846

You deserved it 298

Test failure

By That guy - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Mansfield

Today, I was told that every week the grocery store I work for has a "mystery customer" who shops throughout the store and rates us. Our store has gotten straight 100s for the past two years, and I ruined their streak. Apparently, I was the worst they've ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 814

You deserved it 3 791

By Anonymous - 30/03/2018 01:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 636

You deserved it 3 743

By jons - 17/02/2009 21:54 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 565

You deserved it 3 615

By Noname - 03/02/2009 23:51 - United States

Today, while surfing facebook I noticed someone in my network had recently shifted his relationship status from undeclared to "single." We've been dating exclusively for nine months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 583

You deserved it 2 659

Senpai Noticed

By HelenErutherford - 09/07/2018 01:30

Today, my period started. It wouldn't be a big deal if it hadn't happened while I was in my karate class practicing kicks, and if the guy I have a crush on hadn't informed me of it after chuckling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 280

You deserved it 345

By impatient amy - 27/01/2009 14:23 - Ireland

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 906

You deserved it 2 912

By Katy - 18/12/2018 14:00

Today, I fell in a vent in our floor while decorating our Christmas tree. My husband removed the grates months ago to increase airflow. I fell in past my knee and he had to pull me out by the arms. It's been four days and I can still barely walk. My office is on a second floor... We don't have an elevator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 413

You deserved it 314

By finocchio - 04/03/2011 06:08 - Italy

Today, after seven months studying in Italy, I understood that the "Finocchio" nickname that my Italian friends gave to me really means "Queer". FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 88

By A bit cowardly? - 19/05/2019 20:00

Today, my boyfriend of two years asked his friend to propose to me for him, because he was too nervous to do it himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 126

You deserved it 264

Knockout

By hwat? - 10/05/2022 04:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when she revealed her underwear: boxer shorts. She said she wears them because they’re the only underwear that doesn’t ride up her ass crack. Completely killed the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 5 022

Shame

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I was so disgusted by my own body, I took a shower in the dark so I wouldn't have to look at myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 129

You deserved it 684

By Anonymous - 04/06/2017 00:00

Today, my hate for my mother-in-law now outweighs my love for my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 791

You deserved it 385

By InnocenceBlue - 19/07/2019 22:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, after I've been nauseous for a week straight, barely eating or sleeping, I was going to see my doctor. She then called in sick and I can't get an appointment for another week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 673

You deserved it 125

Words is hard

By purpletulip - 21/10/2016 01:35 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my customer complained to me that there were no scallops in her dish when it was "clearly stated on the menu." Finally, after she ran out of breath, I had to show her that the menu said scallions. She didn't understand, screamed at me and then walked out on her bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 729

You deserved it 690

By RIP job - 28/09/2016 04:26 - Australia

Today, I had a job interview for an amazing opportunity. Too bad my nerves made me forget what the role was and where it was, mid-interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 240

You deserved it 1 562

Thanks for the suggestions

By catty_13 - 26/09/2017 13:00

Today, my boss installed a comment box for anonymous suggestions on how to improve the workplace. So far, I've received 5 notes from my employees requesting that I be fired or replaced by a hotter woman, as it's the best way to improve the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 444

You deserved it 271

It's not you it's me

By mei - 02/06/2021 02:01

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out I’m a firstborn. My last boyfriend broke up with me because my hair blows in my face when the car window is down, and the one before that broke up with me because I only sleep with one pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 548

You deserved it 223

Strange behavior

By Soconfused - 30/08/2022 14:00

Today, I once again confronted my boyfriend about tagging the girl he told me not to worry about in boyfriend/girlfriend memes on Facebook instead of me. He told me I was overreacting and, “it’s just social media!” He told me he’ll dump me if I bring it up again. We’ve been together for a year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 410

You deserved it 457

When karma does its job

By Anonymous - 17/02/2020 18:00

Today, I found out the guy whose ass I used to routinely kick in high school is now dating my 19 year-old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 5 085

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The Top

Today, I got put in a speech impediment class because apparently I have a lisp. No, my tongue is just swollen, and I can't talk very well because of it. I've talked normally for the past 17 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 236

You deserved it 765

Today, I walked into my room, only to find my 15-year-old brother violating my old teddy bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 590

You deserved it 1 953

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 408

You deserved it 3 349

Today, I left my dog alone in the house for ten minutes while I took a shower. When I got out I found a mess of dust all over the floor and her ripping up a package that was supposed to be sent to my aunt. It contained my grandmother's ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 882

You deserved it 7 946

Today, my 92-year-old great-grandfather ran down the stairs in excitement, despite his severe arthritis. He told my great-grandmother that he was having the first erection in over 10 years, and grandma ordered me to leave so they could do it right there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 744

You deserved it 785

Today, out of pure exhaustion, I laughed way too hard at something my coworker said. I got the giggles, and I couldn't stop. When everyone stopped talking, I realized I was the only one still laughing, sounding unhinged. I need a vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 112