Love: Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I...

By fireman - 06/10/2010 09:31 - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

agreeclassic 26 211

vote type 1 8 417

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We still good?

By Anonymous - 11/02/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I cooked dinner for the girl I've been dating. Everything was going well until I accidentally set off the smoke alarm. The fire department showed up, and my date spent the rest of the evening flirting with one of the firefighters, so I guess we weren't actually dating? FML

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Cook out

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 12:30

Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML

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By needs_another_loan - 02/10/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, while I was at work, my wife discovered you cannot put out a grease fire with water. I came home to a frantic spouse, a fire department bill, and a newly destroyed kitchen. FML

agreeclassic 32 635

vote type 1 2 622

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

agreeclassic 27 497

vote type 1 9 626

By chinesef000d - 29/08/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

agreeclassic 43 974

vote type 1 3 200

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

By Anonymous - 30/04/2020 23:00

Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML

agreeclassic 1 439

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By Tiana - 09/01/2012 01:51 - United States

Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML

agreeclassic 13 009

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By burned - 24/05/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

agreeclassic 19 124

vote type 1 64 173

Technically…

By I followed her orders! - 04/12/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML

agreeclassic 193

vote type 1 487

By Anonymous - 09/06/2010 04:41 - United States

Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML

agreeclassic 11 171

vote type 1 64 369

biass 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 16:15

that was a hot date...

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 6 October 2010 16:18

Tell her you're just a hunka hunka burnin' love.

Comments

20waffleater10 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 19:51

did she give you a blumpkin?

Oreogasm 5

Wednesday 6 October 2010 21:03

common knowledge: salt can douse a flame

xkjx 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 21:08

Atleast it got hot like you hoping.

lovelyliz916 5

Wednesday 6 October 2010 22:35

I'm guessing you had the "HOTS" for this girl :D

yummycupcakegirl 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 23:05

Thank you @19 You're sweet!:)

dagill 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 23:53

Look like things *Sunglasses* Heated up YEEEEEAAAAAAAAH!!!

bigbadtim 7

Thursday 7 October 2010 0:58

Flambé anybody?

Phustercluck 11

Thursday 7 October 2010 2:05

I thought you were supposed to let it boil then throw ice cubes in it.

5t3ff1k4h 44

Thursday 7 October 2010 2:06

Dude! It's been said! No stealing my thunder!

nldawgsccr22795 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 2:31

not ur fault

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vote type 1 54 003

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vote type 1 140