Miscellaneous, Weird, Awkward and Spooky: Safety first - FML

Safety first

By Anonymous - 22/09/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, on a whim, I tried the handle of the front door we never use and found it was unlocked. No one can remember the last time we used that door, and it opens directly onto the pavement, meaning for potentially years anyone could have strolled in at any time. Maybe they already have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 244

Back to School: Quiproquos and Notebooks
Laugh at back-to-school mishaps, with dazed students and overwhelmed teachers! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

GoogieWithers 24

Tuesday 22 September 2026 18:03

Do you not check your windows and doors before going to bed? Well obviously you don't, no.

Mad Jack 3

Wednesday 23 September 2026 1:41

Oh, that's your house? I always wondered who would that be who doesn't lock their door while I was strolling through their bedroom.

Comments

GoogieWithers 24

Tuesday 22 September 2026 18:03

Do you not check your windows and doors before going to bed? Well obviously you don't, no.

Mad Jack 3

Wednesday 23 September 2026 1:41

Oh, that's your house? I always wondered who would that be who doesn't lock their door while I was strolling through their bedroom.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Shopping Relatable Transportation Embarrassing Clothes Job interview Work Annoying Food Health Dentist Cats Neighbours Animals Family Depression Mental health Pregnancy Smartphone Money Thief Argument Love Bikes Cars Pranks Weird Awkward Spooky

The Top

Today, I had a date with this guy. I waited at the restaurant for an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyed his car. Then I realized the date was for tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 173

You deserved it 154 536

Today, after my wife broke my heart years ago when she cheated, I then met my sexual ying, and developed a napalm relationship, but she lost her marriage and relies on me for everything. So now I have FOUR human beings relying on me. Nobody should say anything but I deserved it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 1 631

Random

Today, I was berated by a pharmacist, who said that kids these days are on so many unnecessary medications for "fake diseases". I was just trying to pick up the medication I've been prescribed to control my epilepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 891

You deserved it 2 953

Today, my husband and I went to the store. Because we have no car, we had to walk four miles in the 115 fahrenheit weather. It didn't click until we were standing outside the door with a metric shit-tonne of ice-cream, that we'd have to tear ass back home to keep it all from melting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 273

You deserved it 30 256

Today, I was getting dressed in my bedroom with the blinds open and had nothing covering my top half. I thought my neighbours wouldn't be able to see in through all the trees, that was until I heard someone wolf whistle and one of my neighbours running away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 489

You deserved it 32 177

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 896

You deserved it 7 026

Today, I splurged thousands of dollars on the breed of dog that I've loved since I was a kid from a reputable breeder. He is allergic to all food except the 24lb food for $70 and has sensitivities galore, including a seizure from a shot. I've spent $5,000 in vet bills in the first week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 806

You deserved it 3 208

Today, my psycho boss snatched a file from my hand so aggressively that I got a papercut. She then scolded me for bleeding on the papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 111