Work, Health, Painful and Injury: Whackjob - FML

Whackjob

By LaterAlligator - 26/08/2022 16:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, my psycho boss snatched a file from my hand so aggressively that I got a papercut. She then scolded me for bleeding on the papers. FML

agreeclassic 1 066

vote type 1 110

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The ole paper cut excuse

By alliwantisabandaid - 11/02/2011 08:27

Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML

agreeclassic 34 277

vote type 1 3 982

By Sarah - 07/05/2009 04:53 - United States

Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML

agreeclassic 58 902

vote type 1 3 047

By spreadburger - 21/11/2014 00:29 - United States - Tampa

Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML

agreeclassic 36 972

vote type 1 2 847

Toxic workplace

By Screamingfirecracker - 15/08/2016 04:12 - Canada

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to quit my job after being tortured by my boss for months. My boss responded by throwing a hardcover textbook at me and hitting me in the face. FML

agreeclassic 14 253

vote type 1 904

By fired - 23/11/2010 13:41 - United States

Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML

agreeclassic 10 231

vote type 1 65 555

By his word vs mine = me suspended - 10/08/2013 18:41 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

agreeclassic 47 103

vote type 1 3 100

By haileelouxxx - 22/08/2014 12:05 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

agreeclassic 45 641

vote type 1 5 432

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 17:11 - Germany

Today, as I passed a printout over my shoulder to my mum, I managed to give myself a papercut on my tear duct. FML

agreeclassic 23 670

vote type 1 2 704

By Anonymous - 24/05/2011 04:38

Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

agreeclassic 31 545

vote type 1 3 840

By JEalmon12 - 23/05/2019 12:00

Today, I was bored at my office, so I started flicking my pencils at my door. My boss walked in right then to give me a raise for my "outstanding" work. She scared me so much when she walked in that I flicked a pencil right at her face. FML

agreeclassic 814

vote type 1 1 827

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TOP COMMENTS

Hangryko 31

Friday 26 August 2022 23:44

Show HR your bleeding hand, saying you'll sue for a toxic work environment, injury on the job, and assault if your boss isn't transferred to another branch.

Comments

Hangryko 31

Friday 26 August 2022 23:44

Show HR your bleeding hand, saying you'll sue for a toxic work environment, injury on the job, and assault if your boss isn't transferred to another branch.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

agreeclassic 27 114

vote type 1 2 818

Today, I walked in on my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

agreeclassic 34 609

vote type 1 4 513

Today, my husband is divorcing me, leaving our 4 children behind because, and I quote, “She’s 22, 5’3 with perky tits and ass, you don’t find women like these often.” I asked him three times if he was serious. He said, “As serious as a heart attack.” FML

agreeclassic 1 719

vote type 1 253

Today, in a deep depression, on my worst night, I reached out to a lifeline. Waited an hour for the counselor to arrive, listen for a few minutes, then tell me I should, "Get my mind off of it by planning my prom, sewing a dress or painting my nails." The application clearly shows I'm an adult man. FML

agreeclassic 1 427

vote type 1 211

Today, I matched with a woman on Tinder with whom I'd already talked on another dating app. The conversation had died out pretty quickly, so I was surprised she gave me a second chance. Her first message was to tell me how boring I was on the other app. FML

agreeclassic 4 103

vote type 1 785

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

agreeclassic 41 476

vote type 1 4 172