Intimacy, Sex and Movies: Nice!

Nice!

By kill me now - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I realised I've sucked dick to every Simon Pegg movie. FML

agreeclassic 5 347

vote type 1 7 063

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Similar FMLs

By Wickls - 18/12/2008 08:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I bought "Angus, thongs and perfect snogging" on DVD. FML

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By Annoyed - 15/01/2017 18:00

Today, while giving my boyfriend what I thought was an amazing blow job, he asked me if I'd seen Kung Fu Panda 3 yet. FML

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Blown job

By Noname - 12/03/2009 09:30 - New Zealand

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

agreeclassic 63 973

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By the critic - 18/06/2012 10:22 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I realized I have been single for far too long when I was turning off porno after porno because I couldn't stand the horrible acting. FML

agreeclassic 26 380

vote type 1 6 032

By NOKHAN - 25/10/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

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Not that handy

By MyChemicalRomantic - 31/03/2020 02:00

Today, I found out that I can never go to my local cinema again. Not just because of the current lockdown, no. The guy I gave an embarrassing, drunken hand job at a party to works there. FML

agreeclassic 686

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What is the real feeling?

By Anonymous - 06/11/2019 05:15

Today, my friends and I were acting out porn scenes without sex. Then, I realized that we all watch too much porn, and we are still all virgins. FML

agreeclassic 863

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Hmmm, twins

By Anonymous - 11/10/2009 10:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML

agreeclassic 27 759

vote type 1 4 152

That sucks

By funnyERstory - 23/11/2016 04:31 - United States - Houston

Today, I got my dick sucked. Unfortunately, it was by the vacuum nozzle my cousin stuck down my pants. FML

agreeclassic 12 002

vote type 1 1 559

By Anonymous - 11/03/2012 23:19 - United States

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

agreeclassic 9 321

vote type 1 29 229

organizse 28

Monday 16 January 2017 21:41

That really blows.

nainai_09 14

Monday 16 January 2017 21:43

Wtf ?

Comments

money2g 7

Tuesday 17 January 2017 0:07

The ****?...

jakey94_boss 8

Tuesday 17 January 2017 0:18

Wow...

KaylaTackett 18

Tuesday 17 January 2017 1:26

I'm not really sure what to say...

Blizz18 14

Tuesday 17 January 2017 2:38

I've got Shaun of the Dead. Wanna come over?

Leanne798 25

Tuesday 17 January 2017 2:42

Just...why?

DramaticLizard 7

Tuesday 17 January 2017 3:41

Does The Force Awakens count?

joe1105 11

Tuesday 17 January 2017 4:13

this thing was crazy from start to finish

ohsnapword 21

Tuesday 17 January 2017 4:54

<p>Your boyfriend must love Simon Pegg movies.</p>

manlove38 23

Tuesday 17 January 2017 4:56

Doing something good with your time I see ?

MidnaLink 33

Tuesday 17 January 2017 6:23

What…?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my boyfriend asked me if I’d feel comfortable pegging him. I had no idea what that meant, so I had to look it up. I tried to keep an open mind but it was just too far outside my comfort zone. Now he’s sulking and complaining about me being a prude. FML

agreeclassic 1 388

vote type 1 517

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

agreeclassic 73 271

vote type 1 47 311

Today, I bought my boyfriend two concert tickets for his birthday to see our favorite band, and he told me he doesn't feel he loves me. FML

agreeclassic 981

vote type 1 105

Today, my crush of over a year came over for me to take her on our first date. Today was also the day my drunk parents decided to dance the chicken dance in our front yard, naked. FML

agreeclassic 39 447

vote type 1 3 240

Today, I once again realized that I have no idea what I am supposed to do in this life, and don't know what to do with myself. I just live because that's the easiest thing to do, and try to entertain myself while searching for meaning. The meaning to my life; what I should pursue. I've been searching for a long time. FML

agreeclassic 788

vote type 1 298

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML

agreeclassic 30 635

vote type 1 3 316