Intimacy, Sex and Movies: Nice!

Nice!

By kill me now - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I realised I've sucked dick to every Simon Pegg movie. FML

agreeclassic 5 347

vote type 1 7 063

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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By Wickls - 18/12/2008 08:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I bought "Angus, thongs and perfect snogging" on DVD. FML

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By Annoyed - 15/01/2017 18:00

Today, while giving my boyfriend what I thought was an amazing blow job, he asked me if I'd seen Kung Fu Panda 3 yet. FML

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Blown job

By Noname - 12/03/2009 09:30 - New Zealand

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

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By the critic - 18/06/2012 10:22 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I realized I have been single for far too long when I was turning off porno after porno because I couldn't stand the horrible acting. FML

agreeclassic 26 380

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By NOKHAN - 25/10/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

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Not that handy

By MyChemicalRomantic - 31/03/2020 02:00

Today, I found out that I can never go to my local cinema again. Not just because of the current lockdown, no. The guy I gave an embarrassing, drunken hand job at a party to works there. FML

agreeclassic 686

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What is the real feeling?

By Anonymous - 06/11/2019 05:15

Today, my friends and I were acting out porn scenes without sex. Then, I realized that we all watch too much porn, and we are still all virgins. FML

agreeclassic 863

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Hmmm, twins

By Anonymous - 11/10/2009 10:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML

agreeclassic 27 759

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That sucks

By funnyERstory - 23/11/2016 04:31 - United States - Houston

Today, I got my dick sucked. Unfortunately, it was by the vacuum nozzle my cousin stuck down my pants. FML

agreeclassic 12 002

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By Anonymous - 11/03/2012 23:19 - United States

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

agreeclassic 9 321

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organizse 28

Monday 16 January 2017 21:41

That really blows.

nainai_09 14

Monday 16 January 2017 21:43

Wtf ?

Comments

organizse 28

Monday 16 January 2017 21:41

That really blows.

nainai_09 14

Monday 16 January 2017 21:43

Wtf ?

Regulate 21

Monday 16 January 2017 21:46

<p>Even Run, Fatboy, Run?</p>

RichardPencil 30

Monday 16 January 2017 22:38

Too many negative votes, comment buried

Show the comment

Silverfeathery 21

Monday 16 January 2017 22:41

Must be something about Simon Pegg...

fmlinact 12

Monday 16 January 2017 22:45

Anyone feel like watching a Simon Pegg movie? When's the next one cuming out :P?

stoneybadger78 6

Monday 16 January 2017 22:46

That's over 43 dicks sucked!

D0minik 9

Monday 16 January 2017 23:18

could all be the same dick. hopefully. Stay classy San Diego

D0minik 9

Monday 16 January 2017 23:27

that can be the same dick just 's lot of times. Hopefully. stay classy San Diego

Balphleair 24

Monday 16 January 2017 22:49

Your life sucks

Arashikage 18

Tuesday 17 January 2017 0:21

If only there was a button to show that instead of typing it out

J352SAURUS 30

Tuesday 17 January 2017 6:01

I think the comment has more to do with the "sucks" part... referring to blow jobs...

badassmf1234 22

Monday 16 January 2017 23:39

You must really like Simon Pegg

Talis99 26

Monday 16 January 2017 23:41

What brought you to even figure that out?

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Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

agreeclassic 54 454

vote type 1 4 845

Today, I came out as lesbian and introduced my new girlfriend to my family. My mom angrily told me that I should have waited until my grandparents had died before coming out, and that I was "extremely disrespectful" for making this announcement. I honestly thought everyone would be fine with it. FML

agreeclassic 10 122

vote type 1 1 174

Today, I gave a speech at a charity fundraiser. I didn't realize how close I was standing to the fan, which automatically went on. As soon as I said, "this is why you should pledge," my dress flew up. I then learned how quickly phones can take pictures and emails of my underwear can be sent. FML

agreeclassic 3 567

vote type 1 357

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

agreeclassic 32 242

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Today, I went out to eat to celebrate getting over the stomach flu. I hadn't eaten solid food in over a week, so I was really excited and ordered my favorite dish. It gave me food poisoning. FML

agreeclassic 37 898

vote type 1 4 790

Today, as every day for the past three weeks, my girlfriend's cat kept us up from 3:30am crying nonstop. We've tried everything, and even exiled my well-behaved cat to keep him company. Now she cries because she feels she's being punished. Starting around 4am. FML

agreeclassic 2 096

vote type 1 323