Sex, Weird, Relatable and Intimacy: Desperate Dan

Desperate Dan

By BKCK4187 - 20/12/2011 03:23 - United States

Today, I got aroused by the vanilla scent from an unused trash bag. FML

agreeclassic 28 207

vote type 1 6 915

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Fragrant

By nooneinparticular - 21/05/2020 08:00

Today, I realized that I get turned on by my girlfriend's perfume. My mother started using the same one. FML

agreeclassic 1 747

vote type 1 193

Dinnertime

By u.p.i.c. - 02/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML

agreeclassic 1 175

vote type 1 575

Oddly specific

By RowerBud - 02/07/2021 02:01 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML

agreeclassic 338

vote type 1 955

What are you doing?

By smellsgood - 13/03/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

agreeclassic 27 450

vote type 1 11 395

Good smell

By smellslikeroses - 30/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML

agreeclassic 678

vote type 1 1 933

By urinetrouble - 04/05/2017 06:00 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, while checking the men's bathroom at work, I noticed one of the air fresheners had fallen from the top of the paper towel holder into the garbage. It wasn't until I picked it up and examined it that I realized I was actually holding used urinal fresheners. FML

agreeclassic 3 449

vote type 1 1 608

Flavor of the month

By potpurri_needed - 10/06/2009 17:37 - United States

Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML

agreeclassic 23 198

vote type 1 61 007

I can explain

By 1nn0cen7 1 sw3ar - 06/05/2022 14:00

Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML

agreeclassic 1 064

vote type 1 179

Mixed feelings

By thefriedman - 12/02/2013 04:59 - United States - Perris

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

agreeclassic 44 619

vote type 1 8 710

By so_this_is_me - 13/08/2015 17:12 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my love life is so pathetic that when I got a sample of cologne in the mail, I kept sniffing it just to remind myself what a guy smells like. FML

agreeclassic 24 863

vote type 1 3 554

ceilingfans 1

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:22

I found this hard to ********** to

abbytequiere 9

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:23

Oh, you're so dirty...

Comments

MisterEx 28

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:38

Be thankful while you can still get it up, bagman.

wikkedphuka 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 12:06

get it up? is that how u talk to all women? op is a girl

finished 10

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:41

Well then...

SamCat 21

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:41

I dont blame you, they smell really good. Just dont rub it upon you, people frown on stuff like that.

hnz 13

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:45

Gotta love vanilla!

upyourzlolz 11

Tuesday 20 December 2011 15:34

I'd be worst if OP was homosexual. Then we would get joke such as: "Hey, why don't you come and here and spray your vanilla on me?"

Torva_fml 16

Tuesday 20 December 2011 16:16

Not really....? ^

SauceySarah 30

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:46

I have some! They smell really good, so I totally understand.

MyLoveDrunk 11

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:47

Future cereal killer I presume?

MikeDa1Da 14

Tuesday 20 December 2011 16:24

If I was a cereal killer, id definitely take out cap'n crunch first.

rocker135 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:50

Well nothing says arousal like unused hefty bags with vanilla scent

upyourzlolz 11

Tuesday 20 December 2011 16:01

I guess OPs dick became... HEFTY HEFTY HEFTY

bubblepaarty 5

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:59

vanilla is pretty arousing. (;

badass243 6

Tuesday 20 December 2011 9:08

thats low dude

meanmachine888 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 9:10

Sounds easy to get you into bed.

Darklord53 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 10:48

If Op is a guy then it's already easy.

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I'm in 12th grade and came home from school to find out my mother had someone over to have sex while I was at school. She's not had sex my whole life, so the uncomfortable feeling it gave me is different than anything I've felt before. She's been single by the way. FML

agreeclassic 304

vote type 1 1 557

Today, I was sent 800 km home from my interstate job because I have the sniffles. FML

agreeclassic 514

vote type 1 132

Today, my boyfriend told me he thinks brushing his teeth and doing anything basically hygienic is unnecessary now, because, "we're all going to die out around about 2050 anyway." FML

agreeclassic 1 592

vote type 1 186

Today, I realised just how badly I procrastinate because I wanted to take a nap before going out for a friend's birthday, but I kept putting it off until I simply didn't have the time. FML

agreeclassic 361

vote type 1 749

Today, my boss told me to resign within the month, or he'll fire me and give me a bad reference. I talked to him about it again later on, this time with my phone recording everything, so I could take the proof to HR. I guess he knew, because he acted like he had no idea what I was talking about. FML

agreeclassic 21 692

vote type 1 1 928

Today, I got up early because I had a bunch of work to do. It's now 11:50 p.m and I still haven't managed to get anything done. FML

agreeclassic 344

vote type 1 617

Similar FMLs

TOP COMMENTS

Comments