Sex, Weird, Relatable and Intimacy: Desperate Dan

Desperate Dan

By BKCK4187 - 20/12/2011 03:23 - United States

Today, I got aroused by the vanilla scent from an unused trash bag. FML

agreeclassic 28 207

vote type 1 6 915

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By smellsgood - 13/03/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

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Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML

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By urinetrouble - 04/05/2017 06:00 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, while checking the men's bathroom at work, I noticed one of the air fresheners had fallen from the top of the paper towel holder into the garbage. It wasn't until I picked it up and examined it that I realized I was actually holding used urinal fresheners. FML

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By potpurri_needed - 10/06/2009 17:37 - United States

Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML

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I can explain

By 1nn0cen7 1 sw3ar - 06/05/2022 14:00

Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML

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Mixed feelings

By thefriedman - 12/02/2013 04:59 - United States - Perris

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

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By so_this_is_me - 13/08/2015 17:12 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my love life is so pathetic that when I got a sample of cologne in the mail, I kept sniffing it just to remind myself what a guy smells like. FML

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ceilingfans 1

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:22

I found this hard to ********** to

abbytequiere 9

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:23

Oh, you're so dirty...

Comments

reldnahceus 8

Monday 2 January 2012 23:37

You need to get laid.

Candygirl720 6

Thursday 12 January 2012 3:12

Yo…..........……… thts not good man………………………… Y do u think there r booty calls?

DJDude_Arazely 10

Tuesday 6 March 2012 10:32

Desperate much... just kidding. Stop posting and go get laid!!!! Who am I to talk, right? <:D

oYo_its_me 0

Friday 17 August 2012 2:55

I like those scented trash bags.

martinez121797 15

Tuesday 5 March 2013 5:05

Ok WTF!!

booterus 20

Tuesday 3 November 2015 4:45

They do smell pretty good...

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I tracked down my birth dad. He lives in a massive house, with a wife and two kids, 3 cars and a fucking sailboat on the drive. My mom and I grew up in poverty, but I was calm when I confronted him. He had his gardeners throw me into the street like I was inconvenient trash. FML

agreeclassic 1 716

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Today, while using my phone camera as a mirror, I managed to broadcast a Facebook Live video of myself applying haemorrhoid cream to my asshole. FML

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Today, I told the man I love to "go first" when we started talking at the same time. I wanted to confess my feelings, he wanted to tell me about his engagement. FML

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Today, my wife and I invited my boss over for dinner, specifically warning her not to bring her children due to our house not being childproof. She surprised us by walking in with her toddlers. They both shat on our carpets, then my dog knocked them into a wall. I guess I'll start looking for another job. FML

agreeclassic 1 752

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Today, I woke up to NYPD detectives banging on my door with flashlights, looking for some criminal who used to live in my house. Apparently, when they showed the man's mugshot to my neighbors upstairs, for some reason they identified the man as my husband. FML

agreeclassic 36 658

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Today, I counted how many medications I'm on: 14. I'm waiting to see another specialist who might put me on 2 more. I'm currently on more medications than my grandmother. FML

agreeclassic 2 094

vote type 1 202

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