Nearly FMLs

By firedfornothing - 20/09/2018 02:39

Today, I got fired for something I didn't do. My coworker who was in charge of closing the store for the night, left the back door wide open. I got fired and he did not get a word said to him. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 6

By NudeandDepressed - 19/09/2018 23:23

Today I was preparing to hop into the shower when the fire alarm goes off. I rushed out immediately in nothing more than a robe that I had to hold down because it was windy outside. As soon as I reached safety, they said it was a false alarm and it was ok to go back inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 10

By LossOfPower - 19/09/2018 22:06

Today, my home had an evaluation for weatherization. I was low income and needed enough to be put at the front of the line. My home is in such a poor state that they can't even help me. Time to get ready for another cold winter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 19/09/2018 20:43

Today, I realized it has been 2 months since I left my last job. I was only there a week and left due to the nasty manager. I still haven’t been paid and need that money to be able to get my car repaired. The manager claims she sent the money and refused to pay me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 6

By FuckedForTime - 19/09/2018 17:41

Today, I was doing online homework, saving it regularly. The program wouldn't save my work when I told it to, and also wouldn't close without Task Manager. I tried to salvage my work using copy-paste, and that didn't work either, so I have to do my work from scratch all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 10

By trashman - 19/09/2018 17:30

Today, a new employee, who I trained, called me "retarded" in front of a group of people because "I never told him to empty the garbage". His main job requirement? Emptying the garbage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 918

You deserved it 178

By First Choice for Second Choice - 19/09/2018 08:58

Today I found out that, after asking my parents for permission to propose to me less than a month ago, I would-be fiancé decided we should “just be friends”. I also found out his ex is in town. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 4

Today my roommate saw me naked

By Kat - 19/09/2018 07:31 - United States

Today, my roommate decided to move in and didn't tip off me or my boyfriend beforehand. When we noticed the light was on in the room, we thought we forgot to shut it off earlier so I went to turn it off. Fully naked, I swung open the door, and he looked up at me. He used to have a crush on me, FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 22

By "Pretzel_Guy" - 19/09/2018 04:23

Today I was told by my mom and entire family that I'm not allowed to marry my Fiancee because my mom is now engaged to her dad. we've been together for 8 years and they started shagging 2 months ago. Now my family is threatening to disown me if I interrupt, "True Love" Guess I'm marrying my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 7

By meows - 19/09/2018 02:41 - United States - Foley

Today, within the last 48 hours I’ve been dumped, kicked out of my home, gotten lice from my roommate’s girlfriend, and my phone bill ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 4

By avertle - 19/09/2018 02:00

Today, yet again, a girl who I was talking to (and getting along with really well) on Snapchat, blocked me as soon as she found out what I look like. This has happened so many times before I lost count at 10. I guess I am just really that ugly..... fml

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 5

By oww - 19/09/2018 00:35

Today, I had my first cervical screening. I was assured that it won't be more than a slight discomfort; no one prepared me for the most excruciating pain I've ever felt. Like many first time, I bled, walked funny and can still feel it. I lost my 'virginity' to a poorly lubed plastic stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 2

By I'm a fucking idiot - 19/09/2018 00:22 - United States - Olympia

Today, I was in the kitchen with two birds on my shoulder. I bent down to change the dog food and my mom's dog came running. She scared the shit out of the birds and they jumped off me as fast as possible. One of them landed in a pan of hot oil my mom was using to cook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 17

By Anonymous - 18/09/2018 17:22 - United States - Cranford

Today, my brother spent the weekend with me. I spent a lot of time with him, most of that time he spent telling me I don't know what hard work is, I'll never get a good job (I have a job), and that I'm an idiot for going to college. He still is at a loss as to why we aren't closer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 18/09/2018 15:51

Today, I am vegan because I'm allergic to meat and milk. I also just found out I'm allergic to wheat, soy, corn, most leafy greens, stone fruit, legumes, and nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 7

By Whyyy - 18/09/2018 15:31

Today, I was walking my dog. Two giant dogs were blocking the sidewalk, so I picked up my (rather small) dog to carry him past them. When I did so, I accidentally grabbed his penis. It was wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 18

By Anonymous - 18/09/2018 14:26

Today, my married friend decided to confess his love for me to my dog. While I was sitting in the same room. I don’t feel the same, but I start a new job where I have to work with him 6 days a week. To make things worse, I’m friends with his wife too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 2

By Fail - 18/09/2018 13:32

Today, I got an email from my lecturer. I had two major assignments due at the same time, and I saved both as PDF files. Little did I know, when I saved the second, it wrote after the first. I submitted it thinking it was okay. It wasn't. It's an automatic zero. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 17

By Redmonkey - 18/09/2018 08:55

Today, it was my 21st birthday. My parents hyped up a wonderful dinner with my brother, and they drove us 40 minutes away and kept talking about how much fun we were going to have now that I was 21! They took me to Bob Evans. My eggs were cold. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 7

By Ozdust9 - 18/09/2018 06:23 - Canada

Today my husband and I went for supper at a sports bar. When the bill came I mentioned, we were charged for 2 extra drinks ($4.99 ea) & on the way out I calmly mentioned something to the bar and a manager came out & offered a $25 gift card. Got to the car & it wasn't in the envelope. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 9

By soberforlife - 18/09/2018 03:49 - Canada - Metcalfe

Today I decided to have a sip of wine since I had had a fairly difficult week. I say I am allergic to alcohol while out because I have epilepsy and take MEDs that may react to alcohol. I am now lying in the fetal position with the feeling of daggers in my stomach. Allergy formed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 14

By Ferniferousfern - 17/09/2018 19:57

Today, as I was waiting at a crowded bus station, a bee decided to investigate my leaf-printed cloak. As the bus began to load, apparently it concluded I was a flower, and promptly tried to sting my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 3

By useless screen protector - 17/09/2018 19:36

Today, I somehow managed to drop my phone in such a way to crack my screen but not my screen protector. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 2

By "cantide756" - 17/09/2018 16:34

Today, my ex started white trash screaming at our son at a cub scout meeting, for being a crazy, excited 6 year old, and stormed out when I put a stop to it. My son became inconsolable because she didn't say bye. happy birthday buddy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 2

By Sisk - 17/09/2018 14:48

Today I spent 10 minutes frantically looking for my car keys. They were in my left hand. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 34

By rg01 - 17/09/2018 11:27

Today I broke up with my girlfriend of 8 years. I'm working in another country and only get to see her every two weeks. When I got home and I discovered that there were condoms missing. Turns out she had some fun with a random guy while I was away - just working here to save up for our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 6

By Sady_Ct - 17/09/2018 09:25

Today my live in boyfriend of 5 years decided to dump me via text as soon as he got to work, after early morning intimacy. Today is also the final due date for an assignment that will either pass or fail my whole semester. I can’t stop crying or concentrate. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 17/09/2018 07:37

Today, my dad, who was sitting next to me, sent my mom a very sexual text message; she had just given me her phone while I charged mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 7

By Shawnie Gallant - 17/09/2018 07:20 - Canada - Brantford

Today I was diagnosed with Developmental Trauma Disorder, which is PTSD caused by a bad or neglectful childhood. When I had told my parents, they asked me in a sad tone, if it was their fault. I couldn’t get myself to tell them the truth, due to guilt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 7

By magguts - 17/09/2018 02:58

Today, I bragged about my awesome job at an adult group home during my doctor's appointment. Then my doctor informed me I have pinworms. In my vagina. And that I probably got them from a client.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 25

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me. That would have been fine, if we hadn't just moved in with his mother a week ago to save money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 672

You deserved it 2 085

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 527

You deserved it 6 884

Today, I was getting my chest waxed. The woman dipped the stick into the wax and hit her elbow, making wax fall into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 087

You deserved it 3 734

Today, I went with the kids I work with to a roller rink, where there are tons of black lights. Under the glow, I realized in horror that an old semen stain could be seen on my shorts. Praying no one saw, or realized what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 708

You deserved it 3 606

Today, it's our 32nd wedding anniversary. Two weeks ago I caught a cold on an airplane. Since I got back, she hasn't kissed or let me touch her. I'm still coughing. She says maybe it's not a cold, maybe it's TB. She's left to stay in a hotel until I get better or die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 184

Today, I have a 20-page essay due at 11. I'm only at 6 pages. I couldn't do it last week because of final exams. Got COVID on Monday (tested positive on Tuesday), so I was out of commission for three days. Now I won't even be able to see my families for Christmas. Fuck university. I'm so tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 443