Nearly FMLs

By Human - 01/10/2018 07:03 - United States - Bronx

Today I was watching adult films on my computer to get off. When I got to school, I opened up my computer to do some work and audio from the video was still playing. It was loud, in the middle of class, and my crush was in the room. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 29

You deserved it 82

By MyBelle - 01/10/2018 06:58 - Canada - Niagara-on-the-lake

Today, I realized that the man I've been dating for the past 9 months and I are completely sexually incompatible. He's awesome in every other way, but because he's had a stroke, is impotent. Tried pills, nothing has worked. He's fine with it, but I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 14

By it’smybirthdayicancryifiwantto - 01/10/2018 06:08

Today, it's my birthday and not only did I get older, but my fiancé and I have broken up and called off our wedding. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 2

By ToothHurtyAM - 01/10/2018 02:55

Today, at the gym, one of the trainers asked if I was open on Friday. I said “Yeah, I’m open.” He went to my house and asked me out in front of my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 4

By HJonly - 01/10/2018 01:21

Today, I stepped on a 3in long rusty nail. After removing the board and my blood soaked shoes, I informed my boyfriend and his worried family that I did not need a tetanus shot as I had had one, not two years earlier, for a rusty piece of metal in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 3

By xAndreix - 30/09/2018 21:48

Today, I went with my company to the Golden Sands. On the first night, while walking back to the hotel, I fell on the stairs, hitting my nose and right eye. That happened right before I got lost, because my colleagues picked up the pace and forgot about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 2

By skinnyandsick - 30/09/2018 19:31

Today, after weeks of binge eating to gain weight for an upcoming blood drive, I started having digestive symptoms. Turns out, it’s a serious problem that will affect me for the rest of my life. Also, I gained 0 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 30/09/2018 17:37 - United States - Niceville

Today, I finally told my mom that I may have anxiety, as research of my own leads to many of the symptoms that I clearly have and just at times feel like disappearing. She then told me that school is just making me tired and I need to suck it up for the rest of the year. I'm a freshman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 30/09/2018 05:58 - United States - Elkridge

Today, I got to page 6 of my 10 page paper due tomorrow and no my computer refuses to open the document. I’ve googled and tried everything and nothing will work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 4

By Living with BF and Fam - 29/09/2018 22:31

Today, my boyfriend forgot to lock our bedroom door behind him and I didn’t know. I got completely undressed except for my underwear and then his mom burst in without even knocking because she wanted to ask him something. I’m pissed off and embarrassed. She drives me to work every morning. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 14

By Anonymous - 29/09/2018 13:22 - Australia - Corio

Today, I got to marry my gorgeous husband. I couldn’t help thinking how handsome he looked when I walked towards him down the aisle. When I asked what his first thought of me was he answered with “your boobs looked great”. $7000 on a dress well spent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 29

By Anonymous - 29/09/2018 11:22

Today, I found out my girlfriend of one year is cheating on me with my best friend, I found out by seeing a text he sent to her phone when we were on a date for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 3

By Liz - 29/09/2018 10:09

Today, I am 36 weeks and 2 days pregnant. None of my family showed up to my baby shower out of 37 invitations sent two months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 29/09/2018 06:57 - United States - Mead

Today, while at work, my coworkers and I packaged about 700 cinnamon rolls. We have a wrapping machine so we can wrap them. We only got to wrap 150 rolls before the fuse blew on the motor to pull the plastic. We have a $5000 order to go out by Sunday, and we barely started on that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 29/09/2018 01:31 - Australia

Today, while walking home from the pub after a few drinks, some guy tried bumming a smoke off me. I said no, he then proceeded to hit me leaving me with a fractured skull, 2 days before I was supposed to drive out of this hell hole town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 5

By kj - 28/09/2018 18:34

Today, I asked my husband to get groceries. He came back with groceries and a Japanese katana. I don’t even want to know how much it cost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 5

By WorstLuckEver - 28/09/2018 15:53

Today, I had booked a room to conduct a timed video interview with at my university. As I tried to answer the first question, somebody burst into the room demanding to use it. I spent a minute explaining the situation to him by which time had run out, submitting a blank answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 6

By shinymcface - 28/09/2018 05:34

Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend left for Marine Corps boot camp, and my mom blocked me on instagram. Happy birthday to me! FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 28/09/2018 03:31

Today, after a very stressful day at my dead-end job, I went home looking forward to continuing with a video game I was really into. I then remembered that I completed the game yesterday. I started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 12

By Kidsaresofun - 28/09/2018 03:12

Today I finally got another medicine to help me sleep after months of insomnia. Because of this I'm having a burn-out and panic attacks. I was so hoping for a good night's sleep and I did until my 2 year old thought 2 am means morning and won't go back to sleep. It's going to be a long night FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 5

By Good Boy - 27/09/2018 23:26

Today, just after letting my dogs inside, I decided to take a shower. Just after getting out, I stepped in a present from my dog, a nice warm pile of crap. After getting cleaned up from that mess, I slipped in a puddle of piss in the hallway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 15

By Anonymous Panda - 27/09/2018 20:39

Today... it’s 10am. I’m at work and I’m on my period. I go to the restroom to take out my tampon and a big blood just plops onto my pants..... my khaki pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 8

By Pootis - 27/09/2018 15:54

Today I was waiting for the tempered glass I ordered for my phone. The last 3 times I ordered, they didn't match my phone. When I received it, it didn't match. So I got super pissed and accidentally dropped my phone and the glass shattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 31

By bananastrodle - 27/09/2018 14:53

Today, while at my physiatrist I was telling him the reason why at fourteen years old I couldn't read and how my parents and the teachers at school never taught me. he proceeded it with "well that sucks but you really should try reading a book sometimes". FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 9

By xercer - 27/09/2018 12:16 - United States - Tucson

Today, I woke up from a nightmare and had to pee really badly. I had to carefully move off of my bed in the dark. I started walking to the light switch to turn it on, but I tripped and fell on my face and pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 5

By Softbaby - 27/09/2018 10:56 - New Zealand - Mairangi Bay

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when he tried to spice things up by changing positions. His hand completely missed where it was supposed to go and he ended up punching my nose and causing a nose bleed... Fml

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 4

By wasting_the_midnight_oil - 27/09/2018 08:36 - United States - Mims

Today, I was so tired while studying that when I went to look something up using the index of my textbook, it took me five minutes to realize I had been searching for the word 'index', FML.

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 16

By FloridaGirl03 - 27/09/2018 06:45

Today, while looking for money along with pictures of my grandma who's deceased, I found my mother's anal beads and her rabbit vibrator... I can never unsee that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 34

By Anonymous - 27/09/2018 06:04 - United States - Boise

Today, I had sex with this cute girl then I found out she is my step sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 12

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend informed me that our relationship is an open one. This was only after I was told that when she was "stuck in traffic" two days ago, she was actually playing the triple-X version of Twister in my "best friend's" bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 132

You deserved it 3 396

Today, my husband got mad at me for not helping take out the groceries from the car. He yelled that I'm lazy, and that he regrets our marriage. I guess he forgot that the door handle on that side is broken and he had to let me out of the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 042

You deserved it 4 636

Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 826

You deserved it 3 112

Scare or be scared.

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 71

Today, I found out that my ex slept with someone during a work trip and came back to break up with me. He spent the whole breakup making me think that the problem in the relationship was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 83

Today, my husband planned a surprise party. He would pretend to forget my birthday, I'd leave in a rage and go to my best friend's house, where the surprise party would be. It would have been a great plan had I gone to her house and not my side dick's apartment. Now I'm totally fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 1 427