When you're too cute to look angry By Lewis - 31/01/2019 19:00 RESPECT MY AUTHORITHAY!!! I agree, your life sucks 1 419 You deserved it 999 Share Tweet Share
Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 796 You deserved it 3 377
Today, while visiting family in Taipei, I came across a large button that said "PUSH" on it. I was curious and pushed it. A deafening alarm then sounded for the next 10 minutes, attracting concerned neighbours and finally a security guard who informed me that I'd pushed a panic button. FML I agree, your life sucks 24 651 You deserved it 11 130
Today, I have a tooth infection that's spread to my jaw and ear. It hurts so badly that I'm practically in tears. Today's also the day I found out I'm allergic to the medication I was prescribed. Everything hurts, I'm covered in hives, and I can't stop throwing up. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 251 You deserved it 2 184
Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML I agree, your life sucks 38 574 You deserved it 1 859
Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML I agree, your life sucks 16 951 You deserved it 27 216
Today, I found out that my dad recently created a Facebook account for himself. So I friended him. He refuses to accept my friend request. He did, however, accept my sister's. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 631 You deserved it 3 601
AAAAAAAAHHHHH ✊ *cling*
What did that bell do to you? 😊