Love

Minnie - 12/06/2016 13:33 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I was invited to go to a BBQ with one of my guy friends. It turned out to be a surprise engagement party, and every single one of his friends congratulated me. I'm not his fiancée. FML

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Anonymous - 12/06/2016 12:37 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was trying to get my girlfriend to speak Mandarin. After speaking her first words and taking a break, she posted on Facebook: "I speak ching chong! :D :D :D" FML

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Anonymous - 12/06/2016 10:00 - Australia - Port Melbourne

Today, the girl I'd been seeing for a few weeks lost her mind and yanked my car's e-brake while we were on the highway. Why? Because I said I wasn't really interested in having kids. Guess I'll cross that relationship off as a "hell no". FML

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stuck - 12/06/2016 05:59 - Sweden - Hägersten

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He decided to lock me in the apartment until I say that we are in fact still together. This is the 4th time he has done this. FML

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BloodyElegant - 11/06/2016 15:22 - United States - Houghton

Today, on our anniversary, my fiancé left me. I now spent a couple hundred dollars on a hotel room and wine to cry myself to sleep, alone. FML

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BloodyElegant

BloodyElegant 18

Thursday 16 June 2016 7:48

Hey, OP here! (Sorry, I didn't think to use my account when I posted this) Turns out I'm sort of happy that it happened. It hurt (and still hurts), yes, but I'm glad I didn't go through with the wedding. We spent the next week going back and forth and he just treated me like crap. It made me realize I deserve someone who wants me, loves me, and treats me how I deserve to be treated. As for the hotel, I did have my best friend enjoy the amenities with me while I enjoyed some much needed catharsis. Thank you, everyone, for being so kind!

Anonymous - 11/06/2016 05:15 - United States - Bronx

Today, my wife said she was going to her friend's place to help her with couponing. She started getting ready at 5pm; shaved her legs, did her hair, put on skin-tight leggings and a low-cut top. Left at 6pm, snuck back in at 2:50am. Shit, couponing must be really exciting. FML

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TacoMan32 - 10/06/2016 04:29 - Canada

Today, after meeting my new girlfriend, my mom dyed and cut her hair the exact same way my girlfriend has hers. FML

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TacoMan32

TacoMan32 21

Friday 10 June 2016 20:16

Holy shit, this got published. I was having a garbage day, and this just made it! Okay, so My girlfriends a red head with medium length hair, while my mom was a blond. They met a few days ago, but when I got home from school yesterday, my mom, low and behold, sported her new hairstyle. When she asked me how I liked it, I was speechless. When I told my girlfriend what had happened, she looked at me like I was crazy ;-; Anyways, I hope I did the follow up right, never done one before

Anonymous - 10/06/2016 01:08

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to take a break. At least she gave me a parting gift. Lice. FML

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Rari - 09/06/2016 16:04 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I broke up with my fiancé after he cheated on me, and he now refuses to move out of the apartment. I'm even contemplating just offering him my Xbox One as a bribe so I can get him out of my life for good. FML

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Anonymous - 08/06/2016 19:26 - Belgium - Overijse

Today, a friend pointed out to me that my girlfriend of five years looks a bit like my mom. She does, and now I can't get it out of my head. FML

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larouche362 - 08/06/2016 03:01 - United States - Weare

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I wouldn't make my senior quote, "I love my girlfriend more than anything." FML

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Anonymous - 07/06/2016 07:45

Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML

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Seething jealousy

Anonymous - 07/06/2016 01:04

Today, my sister, who has been seeing a guy for a year, got engaged. I've been dating my boyfriend for over 5 years and let out some not so subtle hints and he basically refused to propose. This is her second marriage in the time of my relationship. FML

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Coeurdencre - 06/06/2016 03:33

Today, my best friend, who reckons I'm doing a terrible job at finding a boyfriend, has started giving out my number to all the men she thinks "look trustworthy" in the subway. FML

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BG1059 - 05/06/2016 02:19 - United States - Irving

Today, my best friend since first grade, who I've been in love with for years and finally hooked up with last week, asked me for advice. He wanted to know if he should start a long distance relationship with a girl he hooked up with last night. FML

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Joey - 04/06/2016 18:52 - United States - Apo

Today, I took my girlfriend to her ex-boyfriend's apartment for her to exchange his spare car keys for some of her grandmother's items. I waited outside in the parking lot for an hour, with no idea which door was his. She came out no longer a virgin. FML

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Reeen - 03/06/2016 22:29 - United States - Pittsboro

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML

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Joshua - 03/06/2016 17:53 - United States - Weatherford

Today, the woman I have been seeing said she couldn't see a future with me. This was all because I didn't text her back when I fell asleep after working a double night/morning shift. FML

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SadlySally - 01/06/2016 17:54 - United States - Memphis

Today, I think I met the one. I had the best date ever. We played mini golf and talked about all the things we had in common. After sharing a kiss, I said goodbye, with the promise to meet up again. Too bad he forgot to mention he was moving to Texas the next day. FML

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TheHeirofTime - 31/05/2016 20:45 - United States - Marlborough

Today, I was messaging a nice guy. He sent a picture of himself and asked for one back. Shortly after my picture sent, he blocked me. FML

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TheHeirofTime

TheHeirofTime 19

Wednesday 1 June 2016 18:26

....What?

mitchellcrawford - 31/05/2016 18:05 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after seeing a cute girl on the bus, I tried to look cool by flipping my hair, only to smack the side of my head into the bus window. FML

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DaChief - 31/05/2016 03:17 - United States - Highland Park

Today, I went to the doctor. They did a test and said they would email me the results. My girlfriend saw the email that said "The test was positive", and now she thinks I'm cheating on her with someone named Doctor Johnson. FML

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halza - 30/05/2016 11:03 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, after a long 16 hour shift, I was milliseconds from sleep when my girlfriend said she "wants to talk". I'm now writing this from the couch. FML

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Humpday - 29/05/2016 21:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating on him, all because I shaved my legs on a Wednesday. FML

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ideserveit - 28/05/2016 22:10 - Finland

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend after a fight. I told him the reason I was so irritable is because I'm on my period. He yelped in disgust and nearly fell out of bed. Good to know I'm dating a man-child. FML

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Accidental homophobia

Anonymous - 28/05/2016 03:47 - United States

Today, my brother came out on Facebook, with a message including the words "I got nothing against gays. Except my dick!" I replied "Eww!" My second comment, "Eww because of the analogy, lol." disappeared among a load of replies tearing me apart for being a homophobe. FML

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megsterr413 - 27/05/2016 04:45 - United States - Springfield

Today, after spending all day begging my husband to stop playing video games and show me some attention, I finally fell asleep out of boredom. As soon as I did, he shut the game off and went to hang out with our neighbor. FML

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megsterr413

megsterr413 20

Friday 27 May 2016 18:40

hey guys, op here. I'm having a hard time posting my comment for some reason. but thanks for the feedback we mended the problem. and for the record we always play video games together but he was playing a single player game I couldn't exactly join in , I wasn't interested in playing my game or anything else really but him. he realized he was a bit in sensitive and has since made up for it and apologized. he also said he did come looking for me but he felt bad waking me up. we have been married happily for 6 years now and it was a small very minor bump in the road. thanks for all your concern though

Disappointed - 26/05/2016 20:27 - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, I started dating my crush. Turns out she's a living nightmare. FML

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