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Fteast's favorite FMLs

What's that?

By breebree-0 - 04/03/2012 19:36 - United States

Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML

agreeclassic 26 189

vote type 1 4 407

By bowser_rawr16 - 12/03/2012 20:12 - Canada

Today, I realized how poor I am when I had to use sharpies to color in the worn spots on my dress shoes before leaving for work. FML

agreeclassic 28 958

vote type 1 2 693

bowser_rawr16 app_comment_confession_title

bowser_rawr16 13

Tuesday 13 March 2012 14:55

OP here. Thanks lol. That's actually exactly what I was doing. I'm only 21, and I work in a very professional office, and I always need to look my best. I can't afford new shoes at the time, so that's why I sharpied them.

By Anonymous - 09/03/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

agreeclassic 29 809

vote type 1 2 632

Sprinkler

By shelly - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

agreeclassic 29 987

vote type 1 7 589

By gabbykinz13 - 08/03/2012 21:48 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

agreeclassic 16 054

vote type 1 57 250