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maggierose171 - 19/05/2012 15:08 - United States - Rosendale

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

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We should do this again some time

Anonymous - - United States - Portland

Today, I came home from work to find a burglar in my house. He then said that he was just leaving, and went back out of the broken window. FML

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Sarah - 26/03/2012 11:14 - United States

Today, I belched. In the middle of my wedding vows. FML

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potatoebee - 03/04/2012 18:19 - United States - Clover

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

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Racing stripes

Wannabees - - Canada

Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML

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