derebeker

Mr San Diego, United States 37 years-old

sore 21 October 2009, 08:27 Australia

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

146 comments

Anonymous 1 February 2011, 13:43 United States

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

85 comments

howler 15 February 2011, 06:44 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Make it rain

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

128 comments