FredTheAlmighty

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Fredthealmighty's favorite FMLs

By PicturePerfect - 02/03/2009 21:33 - Canada

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

agreeclassic 167

vote type 1 1 026

Quiet

By Anonymous - 07/08/2011 01:40 - United States

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year-old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

agreeclassic 40 683

vote type 1 11 523

They're indoctrinating our children… with pranks!

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my eight year-old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mindfucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

agreeclassic 40 821

vote type 1 4 008

By Anonymous - 30/07/2011 00:31 - United States

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

agreeclassic 39 453

vote type 1 4 175

Hard no

By LoveDrug - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Ireland

Today, the only guy showing slightly any interest in me is a Nazi-obsessed psychopath. He uses lovely pick-up lines such as, "Hey, do you know how much it hurts to staple your hand?" FML

agreeclassic 31 349

vote type 1 2 975