gra1997

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

Help yourself

Today, my Dad and I went to McDonald's, only to have him shove two handfuls of sugar packets into the bag. He said, "If it's for free, why only take one?" To make it worse, my crush was at the till, watching what was happening. FML

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML